Divorced parents head table issues

I have no advice but pissed off Italians aren't good so I'd put them at opposite ends, with as many people in between as possible.

What makes it a traditional Italian wedding? I'm Italian too and so curious.

Exactly! FI doesn't want to offend my parents, but doesn't want to cause drama with his dad (who is convinced drama will ensue even though his mom is a SWEETHEART) Well I'm Italian, and my fiancé is only 1/4 so it's been a compromise. But the traditions (for the reception) are the reception entrance (bridal party, parents, grandparents, FH and I), SIZE of the wedding (went from 300 but compromised down to 170 LOL), but most importantly....the food! Also having an open bar. Lots of the popular italian songs, etc

We are doing a sweetheart table for just this reason. Maybe that would solve your problem?

I mean of course it is an option, but I hate the idea of my parents not being up there with me. Just the traditional side of me. Plus my parents (especially dad) would be so hurt, and rightfully so as he is paying for a good chunk of the day. FH also doesn't like the idea of himself being centre of attention, so having him up there alone if I were to stray (ex to pee haha) might make him uncomfortable

Are you having Italian wedding soup and dancing to the tarantella?! (Spelling??) FH isn't Italian but I'd love to do that. My aunt had an accordion player who played during cocktail hour and then escorted everyone to the reception area yelling out, "mangia! Mangia!" as he had everyone following him while playing the accordion. <3

Oh, yes. I started my guest list and I was at 200 just with my family....

(I apologize for totally hijacking the topic of your thread!)

LOL! Your aunt sounds like she'd fit right in with my family Yes and YES for soup and music @Gia! I'm actually meeting with the DJ tomorrow to discuss which Italian songs are a must haha

Awesome! I need to start making a list. My dad would freak (in a good way) if I had our DJ play That's Amore. He was obsessed with Moonstruck.

My aunt is quite the character. I actually really loved that she did that. He and my Nonno ended up speaking poor Piemontise all evening. I hope there's some way I can add something like that into mine.

Can you ask them? My ex-husband and I sat at the same table, and not far from each other, at my son's wedding. (So did my wife, and the bride's parents (including her extremely homophobic father). Everyone managed to remain civilized.

I've divorced parent so our head table will just be us and our children no one else

My FH has not seen or heard from his father since he was 3, so he will not be attending our wedding. My mother literally create chaos in my life when she is around because she is a addict, so I am choosing to not invite her. We haven't spoken in over a year anyway. My father is paying for our entire reception and we are paying for the little things, which do add up as well. We are doing a farm style table with the bridal party and then the immediate tables on each side of us are designated for his VIP (Mom, grandfather, etc) and then the other one would be my VIP (dad, grandparents, etc)

@2d Bride it's not a bad idea to ask. I ran it by FH's mother and she has no problem with it. Going to try to see if his father is willing...he's just really hard to reach and lives far away. Maybe I'll just go with it since 3/4 parents are okay with it? arghhh

Honestly, I don't understand - can't people just be civil? They're adults, they've been divorced for 12 years ... 12!

My mom and dad have been divorced for over 25 years and my mom barked at me "You better not be sitting me at the same table as your father!!!" Honestly sitting at a different table isn't going to change the fact that you will be at the same event and chances are interacting with each other. It's not going to be the difference of whether or not drama occurs, this relies on the people and their choices.

I don't know a lot about Italian weddings my parents have been divorced for 13 years and my dad isn't even attending our wedding. Have you thought about possibly moms on one side dads on the other that way they are both honored

I haven't seen a head table in years. We had a sweetheart table. The men of the bridal party sat at a table with their wives/dates and the women of the bridal party sat at another table with their husbands/dates. Our parents each had their own tables, that they shared with their parents, etc.

I'm Italian. I've never seen a head table at any of our weddings, nor have I seen more than a few in all the weddings I've done.

Do a sweetheart, let your parents have their own tables with their own friends. Let them make speeches if they want or have your officiant refer to them in the ceremony. That's really more of an honor than making them sit at an uncomfortable proximity.

@Celia I attend an average of 5 weddings a year, and have since I was a little girl. I can only remember one couple doing a sweetheart table, and it's really not for me. I'm thinking I might e-mail FH's father and ask him what worries him most. I've seen them interact before...even had dinner at FH's mother's HOUSE with FH's father there and it was very enjoyable...I think it's his new gf he's worried about? But I honestly don't feel like I should make plans around her...not to sound like a bridezilla lol

There's a proper and traditional way of doing this, that makes it a non-problem:

There are two traditional places where the host and hostess may sit: either at the centre of one long side of a table (with the hostess to the host's right), or at the two ends facing each other. At a wedding, the central place is usually taken by the bride and groom, so the host and hostess move to the two ends.

The guests of honour sit next to the host and hostess, alternating male and female if convenient. At a wedding these are the honour attendants, and then the other attendants, and also the parents of the groom and the officiant and his-or-her spouse. Since the hosts have given up the centre place to the bride and groom, the honour attendants sit next to the bride and groom -- maid of honour next to the groom, and best man next to the bride. The rest of the attendants sit next to the honour attendants. But here's the solution to your problem: the place of honour next to the host -- your father -- is where you would sit the mother of the groom. And the place of honour next to your mother is where you would sit the father of the groom.

Even still-married couples are not supposed to be seated together at a truly formal dinner; so there's absolutely no reason why no-longer-married couples should be placed together.