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Savvy May 2019

Divorced fiancé parents, what to do with rehearsal dinner and reception?

Vanessa, on May 12, 2019 at 10:18 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 23

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My fiancé’s parents get along very well . They have been divorced for 20 plus years. The issue here is that his mom thinks it’s mean that she walks down the isle with her ex husband instead of her boyfriend she’s been with 14 years. He has been there for her medical issues and cooks a lot for the family. What should i do? I didn’t have her down with him to walk in as the bridal party at the reception but with her ex husband thinking that would make sense.. She wants to walk in with him at the reception in the bridal party plus also walk down the isle at church, this possibly leaves my fiancé’s dad to be alone... do you think this is wrong? She is insisting to pay for
rehearsal dinner even thou we are trying to pay for it. My mom is deceased and my dad is visiting from South America , so i was thinking to have them both together but she didn’t want that. I think i May have cross the line? She is also putting down 1,000$ for our wedding with my fiancé’s dad another 1,000$ and she got us lots of gifts for bridal shower... what’s the right proper way? Should she walk down with her boyfriend of 14 years? Please help ! Our wedding is this coming up Saturday. I am stressing .

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23 Comments

Latest activity by Robin, on August 10, 2022 at 10:36 AM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 12, 2019 at 10:23 PM
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Is it possible for her to walk alone or with another family member? I personally do not see why a divorced couple would need to walk down the aisle together. Is it an issue for her boyfriend to escort her? It may be easier if you just have his parents walk separately and alone if you don't want her boyfriend to walk. Hope it works out!
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Master July 2019
Hannah Online · on May 12, 2019 at 10:34 PM
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I think divorced parents usually do not walk down together. I would have her escorted by her boyfriend. I'm guessing your FIL doesn't have a partner? If not, he can either walk down himself or maybe another female relative on FH's side of the family.
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Dedicated October 2019
Akirah · on May 12, 2019 at 11:35 PM
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I definitely wouldn’t have her walk in with her ex. If your FH is close with her boyfriend or if he was a significant person in your FH’s upbringing, I think it makes much more sense for him to be her escort. And I think it’s fine for your FH’s father to walk alone. Just my opinions, though.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on May 13, 2019 at 12:19 AM
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Yes, she should absolutely be escorted by her partner. Your FH's father can walk by himself.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on May 13, 2019 at 12:37 AM
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I would not have a divorced couple walk to gather. I think it would be a bit awkward. She should escort him. His dad can walk in by himself.
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on May 13, 2019 at 1:13 AM
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If he's new to the game, she should walk alone.

So boyfriend of 14 years should be walking with her.

His father should walk alone.

That's why when reading engagement in a newspaper some people are listed as the son of Ann Smith and Tim Smith. Not Ann & Tim Smith.

They are no longer a couple and should not be treated as such.
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VIP October 2019
SummerBrideInAutumn · on May 13, 2019 at 7:38 AM
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They should definitely not walk together. That would be very strange. She should be escorted by her boyfriend and it’s fine for his dad to walk alone.
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Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on May 13, 2019 at 8:20 AM
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Let her boyfriend escort her. It’s rude to think that her ex husband would walk her down instead of her boyfriend of 14 years. Doesn’t matter how much anyone is contributing to your wedding.
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Super September 2019
Iva · on May 13, 2019 at 8:24 AM
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If she doesn’t want to walk in with her ex, but with her SO, then absolutely let her. Your BP & immediate family should feel comfortable with processional. I don’t see a reason to control this.
Your FFIL can walk alone or with another important family member, like a grandma (his mom), or grandma & grandpa (his parents). It sounds like your dad will also walk alone, so I don’t see an issue with FFIL walking alone too. Or maybe two dads can walk in together, to me that would be fun & unique 🙂
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on May 13, 2019 at 8:26 AM
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As someone who gets along good with their ex, and will have been divorced for 20+ years by the time our child gets married (if she decides to), I would never be ok with being escorted by my ex while I’m in a long term relationship with someone else.

Pairing your FMIL with her ex instead of her SO of 14 years is exceptionally disrespectful to her relationship.
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VIP September 2019
Melissa · on May 13, 2019 at 8:53 AM
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I would not have her walk with her ex. Definitely have her walk with her current boyfriend and have his father walk alone or maybe even with FH.
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Savvy July 2019
Sandra · on May 13, 2019 at 1:26 PM
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I agree with everyone else, even though they get along, I would not suggest that she walk down the aisle with her ex but definitely with her BF of 14 years. I think the FIL can walk by himself or with his partner.
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Master October 2017
karen · on May 13, 2019 at 3:04 PM
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Is this an ethnic thing? Jewish parents, even if divorced, walk down the aisle with their kids
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on May 13, 2019 at 3:08 PM
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This isn’t about walking their child down the aisle though. That would be completely understandable. This is about them being introduced into the reception. Their son (the groom) will not be with them at that time as he’ll be introduced with his new wife (OP).
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Devoted August 2020
Rose · on May 13, 2019 at 3:12 PM
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Does your FH have a sister who can walk with the Father? That's what I did at my brother's wedding since my mom walked with her husband.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 13, 2019 at 4:28 PM
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I agree. I can't imagine making a divorced couple walk together in a wedding, that seems so weird. My stepfather is walking my mother in, and my fiance's stepmother is walking in with his father. My mother & stepfather aren't married but have been together for 8 years.
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Savvy October 2021
Joanna · on May 13, 2019 at 5:33 PM
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My parents are also divorced, so my mom is walking with with my future MIL, however if your mom isn't a fan of that she can be walked down aisle by her son, nephew, brother--really any male relative.
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Savvy May 2019
Vanessa · on May 13, 2019 at 5:45 PM
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Thank you all for your responses. This did help .
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 13, 2019 at 5:47 PM
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Would you want to walk down an aisle with your ex while your partner of 14 years watched? She should be walking with her significant other, not her ex husband. If he’s single, he can walk alone. He’ll be okay.
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