Divorced Family - Corsages & Boutonnieres

DH's parents are divorced and the situation was similar (mom remarried when DH was a kid, dad has long time girlfriend). We chose inclusivity. We ordered a corsage for his dad's girlfriend, and we also included DH's step-grandparents (stepdad's parents).

We had a couple reasons for doing it that way. One was that DH had know the girlfriend for a long time and did, loosely consider her to kind of, maybe be like a stepmom. The other was that while we both felt DH's stepdad and step-grandparents needed to be recognized for their role in DH's life, DH's dad has a history of being hurt when DH refers to his stepdad as one of his parents. DH was worried about how his dad would react seeing his stepdad with a dad's corsage. There was no way I was going to let his stepdad be snubbed, so I asked DH if ordering a corsage for the girlfriend would possibly make things right in his dad's mind. DH agreed and liked the idea of including the girlfriend, both because it would ease any jealousy his dad might perceive and because of the role the girlfriend actually has played in DH's life.

The girlfriend ended up not making it to our wedding (she needed to stay home and take care of her elderly parents and so she could not travel for our wedding). We still found peace in the thought that if DH's dad said anything about his stepdad wearing a dad's corsage, we would be able to honestly show his dad that we had gotten one for his girlfriend, too. Seriously, our florist labeled them and hers had her name on it and everything.

You don't need to get her a corsage or include her in the processional if you don't want to. We decided to do it because it made sense for us.

I think that it is fine to not give them boutonnieres and corsages.

It's absolutely ok. Anyone who you deem is worthy gets a bout/corsage. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. FH bio mom and step dad can't make it but they would have both had flowers to denote their VIP status. His dad and step mom will be here and will both have flowers, along with my parents.

We're doing bouts/corsages for all immediate family, including my SIL and her husband, other SIL and her children, my brother, and my grandparents.

ETA: I misread the question. Just as it's ok to give them, it's ok to not do them. This is also a semi-last minute detail that could be decided anytime between meeting with your florist up until their deadline for making changes.

@bluehenbride, all parents and step parents (and mom's boyfriend) will be included but it's the issue of the ex-step parent in our case. The girlfriend is freaking horrid and has played no role in FH's life. I met his for the first time in July and she spent the entire time telling me how awful female attorneys were (my career).

We have been having a very similar problem. My FH's mother and father are divorced. He is not remarried but has been with the lady for a couple years. His mother is remarried to a woman. We get along with them great but it makes my FH uncomfortable to draw a lot of attention to it as it was a huge problem as he was growing up. We have decided the procession will just be him escorting his mother and his father. We are doing corsages for all though. But i would say its all about how comfortable and close he his with everyone in the family. If they are very close i would just do it so there is no hurt feelings.

Ahhh, I missed the fact that there were three couples. I would say it's up to your FH as to whether he wants to get a boutonniere for his ex-stepdad if he feels like he wants to honor that relationship. I don't think there is a right or a wrong answer there. It is also your FH's personal choice as to whether he'd also want to get a corsage for his girlfriend. I will say that if I were dating a man who had a stepson from a previous marriage and I was attending the former stepson's wedding, I would not think in any way that I should be getting a corsage, regardless of whether my boyfriend (the ex-stepdad) was given one. The girlfriend is a little too far removed from your FH's parental group to be honored in that way, unless your FH spends a lot of time with his ex-stepdad and his girlfriend and has a really good relationship with this woman. I would also think the former step parent in this situation would recognize that he and his SO were being invited to the wedding as a testament to his parent-like relationship to your FH, and that his SO has nothing to do with that, and he's unlikely to feel offended that his SO didn't get a parent corsage, whether or not your FH wants to give one to his former stepdad.

Yes, they are not FH's immediate family so they do not need coursages