Dislike FH groomsmen

Maybe, before FH asks him, you could invite him over under better circumstances? You still have so much time before your wedding, so there's plenty of time for you to see what FH sees in him (or for you both to realize that he is not someone who supports you guys). A 5-10 minute window when he's smoking is probably not exactly the best impression of his potential. Unless the slight is so egregious that it's obvious, I try not to read too much into or think too much about any one experience that is bad with someone.

I know each person chooses their own bridesmaids/groomsmen but, if you feel strongly negatively about one of them, it seems weird to include him without a discussion.

Also, if your FH is having 4 groomsmen just to match your 4 bridesmaids, consider having mismatched sides. That's what we'rd doing.

I'd let FH pick the groomsmen he wants. My husband had picked a guy that I HATE! I met him twice, and he was just a jackass. But he was my husbands life long friend, so I couldn't say anything. Even though they hardly hung out, my husband still wanted him to be a part of our day. I ended up not having to worry in the end, because the friend dropped out of the wedding.

How would you feel if he told you he didn't like one of your bridesmaids and he wanted her out of the wedding?

The groomsmen is his choice. Let him have his choice. Don't be controlling.

It's definitely his choice. Is he choosing 4 gms to match your 4 bms? It doesn't sound like he's very close with this guy, but if they've been friends for a while, they probably went through a lot together back in the day. If having this guy standing up there with him means something to your FH (which it does since he choose him), then you just have to let it go.

I don't dislike some of the GMs but they make me nervous because they tend to act inappropriately. But it's my FH choice so ultimately he's responsible for them. None of my business.

E-Tex nailed it.

Who stands with him that day has to be his choice. Have you had any other interaction with this friend? Honestly the fact that he didn't say hi to you two years ago doesn't seem like a big enough deal to be upset about him being in the wedding.

I agree with the majority, its fh's decision, he is a big boy and this is the one thing he gets to decide on his own for the wedding.

I agree with the majority, its fh's decision, he is a big boy and this is the one thing he gets to decide on his own for the wedding.

Haven't you ever seen Love Actually! jkjk I agree it is his decision.

Have you asked him why he wants him as a GM? First impression aside, I'd wonder why FH wants someone he has only seen 1 time in 2 years.

DH and I were different choosing BM/GM. First we did siblings (3 total between us) we ended up with 4 BM and 4 GM total. That left 5 remaining people to choose.

We each picked our own MOH/BM and were fine with each others choices (BM was DHs best friend since they were 5, and MOH was one of my best friends from college, we both knew each others picks well still)

That left 3 "spots", 1 BM and 2 GM. We picked people that meant a lot to both of us. The remaining BM was my other best friend from college, but she had worked with DH and I in college so we both knew her well. The remaining GM were 2 of DH's college friends that were also mutual friends.

We wanted people standing up with us that supported both of us. It was an amazing feeling because the GMs were equally excited to see me in my dress as the BMs. Everyone in our wedding party had all met each other many times so it was such a fun group!

I totally get it, but it really is his decision. My FH has a friend that he was thinking of asking and I was so nervous. He's a relatively nice guy, but he's so flaky and always late. To everything. Sometimes, he doesn't even show up. But if he does, there's always a story! Ugh. Needless to say, I was so relieved when FH picked his cousin. lol I really didn't want to spend my wedding day waiting around for him to show up and/or having him make FH sad.

Try to get to know him, but let the groomsmen be FH's choice. If he chooses to ask him, so be it. Don't let him get to you and enjoy your wedding day.