April
Beginner September 2021

Disinviting a Bridesmaid...

April, on August 15, 2019 at 7:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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What would you all do if you asked someone to be a bridesmaid, but you’re now growing a dislike for that person... do you suck it up or do you disinvite?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Kasyah, on August 16, 2019 at 4:57 AM
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
    • Flag
    It depends.

    If you want to “friend break-up” this is one way to do it

    Know that if you uninvited her you can probably say good bye to that relationship forever.
    • Reply
  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    I feel like this is widely situational - what is happening?

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Have you tried addressing the issue (this is a bit vague as to what that is) with the BM? That may be a better route than removing the BM. But if you dislike her because she’s done something egregious to you, maybe it is time you cut your losses. Regardless, you have a while to go before the wedding (if the date on your profile is correct) so I wouldn’t recommend you just suck it up.
    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    My MOH basically self appointed herself into my wedding party and I was a doormat and let it happen. I sucked it up and dealt with her but we aren't friends anymore after the wedding.
    • Reply
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, I can't imagine choosing someone as a BM if I didn't have a long, close, and valued enough connection with them to withstand pretty much anything they could do over a few months of wedding planning.

    • Reply
  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
    • Flag
    If you don't want to be their friend anymore, definitely ask them to step down. I just got in the MOST STUPID fight ever with my brothers GF/baby mama, and she stepped out of my wedding. She has been awful to me for months now, but I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt based on the fact that she had just had a kid. I'm honestly so relieved that she isn't in my wedding anymore. You don't want someone around you that is going to try and spoil your day.
    • Reply
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    That would depend on why you are starting to dislike this person. Are they being negative towards you, your fiancé and your wedding? Then yes. Are they a little overbearing with wanting to help? Then no, just talk to her about it. Wedding planning is stressful, so if you are really thinking of removing her from your bridal party, make sure it’s for a legitimate reason, because your friendship will probably end at that point.
    • Reply
  • Cheryl
    Expert November 2020
    Cheryl ·
    • Flag
    I always say to anyone who asks: you should only have people in your wedding who you think will be in your life 10-20 years from now. There is no way to tell the future and a lot of unpredictable stuff can happen, but if you're the slightest bit hesitant about her being in your life long term, I'd sit down with her and tell her that you appreciate her support but because of x reason, you've decided not to include her in the bridal party. As other people have mentioned, though, this may greatly hurt her feelings and she may no longer want to be friends with you. You should look back on your wedding day with happiness and positive emotions. Some people in our close circle (like my dad, for ex.) bring a boat load of drama and there's nothing we can do about it, so for those we choose to include, we need to make sure the risk is low that they will bring negativity and drama.
    • Reply
  • Kasyah
    Devoted July 2020
    Kasyah ·
    • Flag
    I was in the same boat. Had a BM who l thought was a great friend but when it came to anything wedding related it was all about her. I literally went to counseling because of the stress she was causing me. Long story short, I decided to take her out. I have no regrets. There doesn't need to be any feelings of discontent on your wedding day. I agree as well that the people standing beside you should be those you'll feel that life long connection with. That's why it blows my mind seeing these massive wedding parties lol just know whatever you choose is your choice and no one else's. This is your special day.
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