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Brianna
Devoted April 2019

Would anyone else be annoyed?

Brianna, on August 31, 2018 at 11:47 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15
Let me start by saying I probably am being dramatic and this probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, but I just need to vent so please be nice. So, my FH’s childhood friend and groomsman got engaged a few months ago to a girl he’s seeing. We saw them both last month and they said they were planning but hadn’t set the date. Well today, we look on Facebook and see they got married at the courthouse! I am very happy for them and super excited, but they neglected to tell my FH even after they had been married. I mean my FH and this groomsman have been friends since elementary school. I respect that they wanted to get married at the courthouse and they wanted it to be private but finding out on Facebook really hurt my FH and that rubs me the wrong way. I think it made FH second guess their friendship and his placement in our wedding. Like I said I probably shouldn’t care as much as I do I just needed to vent.

15 Comments

Latest activity by edecker, on October 2, 2018 at 12:57 PM
  • H
    Savvy August 2019
    Heather ·
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    It would bother me too. Your FH should speak to him as soon as possible.
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  • Jessa
    Dedicated May 2016
    Jessa ·
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    I meaaan..... I don’t really think it’s a big deal. I doubt it was done to purposely be ugly. Maybe they just figured they’d post it so they didn’t have to individually tell everyone.
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  • Maria
    Savvy September 2018
    Maria ·
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    It’d probably upset me too. Your FH should talk to him, especially if he’s having second thoughts about his place in y’all wedding.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Maybe something happened to make the have to rush it. I do see how you are hurt. I would talk to them and try to keep a open mind.
    Same type of thing happened to me. Talked to one of my best friends in the phone. Next day she announces that on FB she is pregnant.
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  • LadyK
    Dedicated September 2018
    LadyK ·
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    Not Cool at all!!! In my opinion it was rude. FH is making him apart of his big day so the same respect should have been used. I’m sure ur FH would have been so happy for his childhood friend! This needs to be addressed in my opinion and his place in the wedding would have to be discussed.
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  • NikNak
    Master September 2018
    NikNak ·
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    This 100%, I'm sorry, I understand about being peeved, but they got married how they wanted to. FH and I have a friend who did this exact thing, and posted it to Facebook and never called anyone directly. Of course we were upset to not have known about it, but we called them up, said congratulations, and asked them to let us take them out for a celebratory dinner. We even asked them later why they did it that way, and they just said, they didn't want a fuss. With all the stress I'm dealing with now, I can understand why, and respect it.

    You and FH can rethink your friendship all you want, but at the end of the day, his friend is happily married and he can congratulate him or he can place a divide between them that really should just be redirected into happiness.
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  • Chariece & Sterling
    VIP January 2026
    Chariece & Sterling ·
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    A part of me wants to think they didn't want to take the spot light away from you and your FH. But then I remembered how I had intially planned/catered my wedding around an ex friend who was suppose to be a bridesmaid. She had gotten engaged not that I expected to be in her wedding I was told by my ex friend she was having a very small wedding. Even though we were not related we shared a bond like sisters. So for her to say just family I was very hurt.
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  • Stephanie
    Expert October 2018
    Stephanie ·
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    Guys are different some guys just don’t tell their friends anything like life related they just shoot the breeze. Don’t take this personally. I think guys just aren’t as excited as women.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Weddings are expensive. Maybe she could only afford family.
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  • Jane
    Expert May 2019
    Jane ·
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    I doubt very much that the hurt was intentional... call and congratulate. Go and celebrate
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    For all you know, they told no one before posting it. Lots of couples choose this route for all different reasons- family drama, tiny budget, lack of interest in planning, insurance, etc. Since you don’t know why or who they shared with prior to posting, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair for your FH or you to question how close of a friend he is. Congratulate them, hang out with them, talk with them and see what they say.
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  • C
    Super October 2018
    Cassandra ·
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    This would bother me too!! There might be some kind of reasoning behind him not telling you.

    Maybe becsuse you were having a wedding they didn’t want to put shine you?

    either way, I would definitely talk.
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  • Chariece & Sterling
    VIP January 2026
    Chariece & Sterling ·
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    Understood but we shared life events that you can not put monetary value on. And had she said that maybe it would not have hurt so bad. My FH neice had to check me bc I was planning a wedding with my ex_friend and catering to her wants and availability instead of including what my FH wanted. But life goes on a lesson learned.
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  • L
    Expert October 2018
    Linda ·
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    Their decision of how and when to get married and who to tell is just that. Theirs. Not yours. One of my best friends got married at the courthouse he told me 3 months later they just didn’t want it public yet. Hell my brother eloped told me but didn’t tell my parents for 2 months as they figured things out. Have some faith in your friends and allow them their privacy. Friendship doesn’t mean you know everything it means you support them
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  • edecker
    Super December 2024
    edecker ·
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    This is why you always call everyone when you get engaged before just posting it! Saying things on social media instead of calling can hurt peoples feelings just like how you are describing! I myself would question the friendship, and even the place in the wedding. This is also why you wait to ask BM's and GM's! Things can change!

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