What do you think?: Wedding Etiquette Myths

Well, I wouldn't rely on Peggy Post entirely, but those are indeed all myths. Unfortunately some of her answers perpetuate nearly-equally misleading ideas.

#1 - Absolutely thank-you notes need to be sent immediately a gift is received.

#2 - Absolutely, no-one is entitled to a shower and no-one is duty-bound to throw one. But ANYONE who wants to arrange one may (with the bride's permission) -- it doesn't have to be one of her attendants. And the rule about who can be invited to a shower is "anyone who truly WANTS to give the bride a shower gift and no-one who doesn't", regardless of the wedding guest list. Since a shower-hostess would only be certain of people that she knows very well, showers done tastefully are inherently small, intimate affairs.

#3 - True, the bride's parents aren't expected to pay, but pooling resources to "co-host" is dangerous. Too many hostesses with conflicting backgrounds and expectations is a recipe for conflict. Better to make modest, affordable plans.

I like this article and your comments regarding these myths! I totally agree that the bride should never ask someone to host a shower for her. I had offered a shower for my sister after she insisted to me that her friends were throwing the bachelorette party. Her wedding was this past June. When we were about 5 weeks from the day of the wedding and none of her friends had made any plans, she blew up at me for not organizing them and getting them to throw her bachelorette party. I was steamed! My offer for a bridal shower wasn't enough, I was also expected to force her friends to host a party they didn't even know about. She boo-hooed to one of her friends, who accepted the guilt trip and threw a tacky, slutty party, which I did not attend. Needless to say this situation did change my opinion of her and our relationship as sisters.