Wedding dress shopping is worse than bikini shopping

Michelle. I think every woman shares your same feelings when it comes to our trouble spots. There were a few dresses I loved until I saw the "butt crack" on my back from the dress clip or my arms looked bigger than the side of my face. My advice, try not to focus on the little details because no one else sees them. Plus, a good seasress can adjust the dress to make it fit like it was made for you. I promise you this, you will be a show stopper in any gown.

I'm sorry you had a bad dress shopping experience. =(

Did the consultant suggest or bring out dresses in a different silhouette - maybe A-line?

ETA: I was looking for a fit and flare too but that was based on looking at pictures online and I had no idea what I would look good in. So the consultant at my first appointment suggested I try the different silhouettes including a ballgown just so I can completely eliminate them as options. I was drowning in the ballgown.

I am already married, but I remember what you are going through all too well, it is still so fresh in my mind. I felt exactly, exactly like you. I ended up with an A-line. I thought I was the only one who felt like those heavily beaded gowns were more for the Oscars too. I tried on one that really complemented my figure, but I just couldn't get past all the beading. I didn't feel like a bride.

Michelle, I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Dress shopping was really stressful for me too! I also thought I wanted a fit and flare gown but wasn't sure about how it would look on my shape. The fit and flares with more structure seemed to pull me in, and I really liked that. I also liked sheath gowns because they weren't poofy or heavy, and when they fit close to your hips it's like a more gentle fit and flare. A-lines were also really flattering, especially if they had a dropped waist. On the days of my better dress appointments I had gotten a good night's sleep so I was calmer and happier when we got started. Can you ask around for recommendations of bridal shops with really nice consultants in your area? Having a really sweet consultant who knew her dresses and didn't say anything borderline snarky about my body also made the appointments go really well!

I HATE trying on dresses with a passion. I've been trying to go to the gym but have been slacking. The first 20 or so dresses I tried on I hated the way I looked; even though they were supposedly "more flattering" on a curvier figure. I call BS. I annoyed the crap out of my consultant and my MoH with my nitpicking ("my arms look flabby " "too much over/side boob" "makes my already wide hips look wider" "you can see the fat on my stomach " etc). Was not trying to be a bridezilla. It was an ungodly stressful experience, to the point I don't know if I will find a dress I like. To make matters worse, I'm a size (ish) 8 (too big for a 6 like I used to be but not quite an 8) and most of the time I had to be sized in a 14 or higher. Talk about mood killer.

Michelle- I'm not really the ball-gown type but the more fitted dresses were NOT doing me any favors...I ended up with a straight flowy skirt that I think suits me well. Did you try on any like that? Good luck, I know it can be daunting.

My best advise is to throw any pre-conceived notions of what you think you want out the window. Try on at least one of every silhouette and keep an open mind. You may look incredible in something other than a fit and flare but if you keep telling yourself how much you don't want anything else, you will have a harder time finding THE DRESS.

Today will be my first attempt at dress shopping. While it's comforting to know I'm not the only one with insecurities, u don't think its going to make this any easier :-/.

I also had a not great dress shopping experience. I worked in bridal, and have tried on a ton of dresses in my adult life. Now that I'm engaged ive tried on about 35 dresses. I'm pretty sure dress 35 is the one though. My problem is I am very picky, and just pick apart everything. It wasn't pleasant and I even tried to just settle on a few so I could quit shopping. It was too much pressure for me.

Sorry you're having a rough go of it. Sometimes it's just not easy and it's hard to look so long and hard okay ourselves for what's supposed to be such a huge perfect day.

I would recommend a few things.

1. Take a break. Stop looking at dresses for at least a week, including on line shopping. Come back fresh and a rested and new mind.

2. When you go back. Try on one of each of the five basic silhouettes. Look at angles and the over all shape. Them narrow it down.

And most importantly...

3. Love your self. It's your body. There will always be flaws. And we all have our good days and our bad days, but no amount of diet and exercise or Spanx can fix self hate or loathing or the hard social eye we judge our eyes with. Let it go. And love yourself.

There is a dress for you I promise. And I promise it will make you feel like a million bucks but if you're judging yourself with harsh eyes you might miss the beautiful forest because you're staring at the trees. So I would encourage you to love yourself no matter what and take a step back and not forget you're beautiful and amazing and you will be radiant and beautiful whatever you wear on your wedding day.

Thanks everyone. It's always nice to hear that you're not the only one who is having/had a tough time dress shopping.

I'm very hippy, "child bearing." I'm probably between a size 6-10; depending on outfit/designer. Realistically, I don't know how much of that I can burn off and tone from now until August; sadly fit and flares/mermaid/trumpets accentuate the areas I usually try to hide (hips and tummy pudge).

I'm short waisted, so in the photos where these very lean and tall model's waists are starting to curve in, is where my hips naturally start, but when I look a photos online and in magazines, that's the style my eye is drawn to.

Finding a dress has always been hard for me -- I love form fitting looks, but always end up in peplums, rouched dresses, or flares bc I feel very wide when I stand sideways. I wanted this to be the one time I can actually get away w/my "ideal" or "dream dress".

The rouched dresses we've seen are either super couture or very plain.

I've tried on fully beaded gowns, and yeah, Oscar status.

The tooling is driving me nuts because it's always rough and over the top, crazy designs, or very soft and very poofy.

Everyone seems to like me in the fit and flare, and I enjoy it in person -- I can't believe my waist is so tiny; I'm normally very self conscious of my hips -- I again feel a bit wider then I'd like to look when I turn sideways, so I can't commit. Then we take a photo and I look back at it I want to cry because I absolutely hate what I see. I'm also "short," I'm 5'5 -- it's just all going wrong.

My friend's mom looked at some photos last night, and she was like no. I can't let you wear that. (Not in a mean way at all.)

It's going to come down to wearing an A-Line dress and looking like a Disney Princess with lots of tool, which is exactly the opposite of what I wanted.

Oh. And I have like a week or so to find a dress because of the ordering time -- we have 6 months.

We booked out wedding 3 weeks ago.

AHH!

There are a lot of a line gowns that are not Disney-esque. Just keep looking and you will find the one and you will know it when you do! Take people shopping with you that you know will be honest with how a dress looks and will help steer you towards the dress for you (like your friend's mom, if she'd be willing).

Good luck!

How about dresses with empire waist?

A lines don't have to look like princess dresses! Drop waist lines are slim through the top of your hips, and slim a lines don't have as full of a skirt. You might also be able to have an a line taken in around the hips and thighs so it's a more relaxed fit and flare.

It sounds like we have very similar body types. I can definitely relate with the disproportional hips. You may not want to go this route, but I was ultimately like screw it, decided to play up the hips and went with a mermaid gown. It had a corset so my stomach was flat, but hips were definitely there. Just a thought that you might want to try accentuating your natural figure rather than hiding it.

Hey, I'm in the super-wide hips club too! Totally bought a fit-and-flare, though mine sits a little higher on the thigh than most, and I added a sash to draw the eye up to the waist a little more.

I would also ask about petite sizing to accommodate your short waist. I'm only 5'6" but often have to buy tops, dresses, and swimsuits in "tall" because my waist is long and my legs are short. A petite dress should still have enough skirt to accommodate your height (but do ask! make sure your toes won't be poking out!) but the waist will be higher. The better fit you can get, the better you'll feel in any dress.

Had two not-so-great wedding dress experiences and wound up buying off the rack. Godspeed to all the ladies who are currently experiencing this part of the planning process.