Update in comments: NWR: FH and Best Friend Dilemma

I will note he used to like her. I have no idea where things went wrong in his eyes. Also, he has friends that I'm not a fan of and I look the other way. We are even inviting a few of them to our wedding :/

I find it very odd that your FH can't even tell you WHY he does not like her. You don't see it, but he says she is manipulative and toxic but he can't elaborate on this for you? Why not? Don't you two communicate? Seems like he is the problem - unless he can elaborate or point to specific examples, sounds like he's just being a jerk toward her and the problem is more him.

If you can look past his friends he can look past yours. Especially if she was that important to you at one time

@Emily S. I agree which is honestly the weirdest freaking thing because he gets along with everyone! I mean in entire relationship she is the first person he has ever disliked :/ He was even prom king in highschool! It is totally out of character. I just feel like he got rubbed the wring for something and he is stubborn or something?

1. He needs to tell you straight up what happened that made him hate her.

2. Of course you can have friends who aren't friends of his. Just see her without him.

She even said tonight she loves him and she doesn't have a problem with him except for the fact that he hates her and either of us don't get why. She did say she thinks it must be something I must've said to him, but I swear I don't remember ever saying a bad thing about her to him.

@2d Bride my only concern with #2 is that we were so close that we did just about everything together and my hope is that we can repair that. That being said I can't aging that happening where there isn't overlap with FH.

I totally agree with you @Ashley S. I wish it was that simple!!

How is he with your other friends? Sometimes people just don't click for whatever reason, and that's fine. But if he has an issue about you spending lots of time with other people then that's something that the two of you should probably address. Did he specifically ask you to stop seeing her, or did he just say that he personally doesn't like spending time with her?

@MrsF2B like I said before he is out of character with her he is friendly and kind with everyone he meets. He is just one of those guys that gets along with anyone. Actually the complete opposite of me lol. We have been together for 10 years so this is the weirdest thing. I've been friends her for 5 going on 6 years minus the past 8 months of not talking. And again, he used to like her so I just don't get where things went wrong for him with regards to her.

Ian used to stick up for my old best friend. He used to ask me why I was so hard on her. Then she starting blowing me off. Giving lame excuses. That's when he kept telling me he gets it now and I need to drop her. I didn't listen to him for about a year and a half. Then I was hospitalized (organ transplant shit) and I was released the day before my birthday.... A few days before our new house party/my birthday party. She told me she wasn't coming the morning of the party because she has her period. Ummmmmm... OK? You should be able to handle your period at 32 years old. She never had issues when we lived together. Anyway, I didn't hear from her for months other than a couple times asking me for pain killers and giving long drawn out excuses. Eventually I snapped at her and she said she didn't know I was hospitalized, she didn't know I had a birthday, and she didn't know we bought a house. Yea. She's on drugs. My point is that maybe he sees something in her that you don't. It took me a long time to realize I was the only one putting an effort into a friendship. He does need to give you specifics though... Otherwise I'd assume he had the hots for her and just doesn't want to have to look at her face lol. Or not....

This is a hard one. With it being someone so important to you, he should smile and be polite even though he may not be her biggest fan. Find out what his reasoning (examples of her toxicity) and navigate from there.

@AlexisM082 I'm sorry to hear about your friend thank you so much for sharing that with me. I can understand if my FH sees things that I don't see but all he will tell me is that she is manipulative. In the past before we split I would look for it but never found what he was talking about. Although your last point may be true, she is gorgeous but she is on the skinny side and he prefers some meat so I don't think I have that to worry about ;P lol. I will be honest I wasn't the greatest friend to her towards the end, I was going through a really rough time in my life at that time and I was a bitch to her, she called me out on it a few times and I Remer not being apologetic about :/ I really hate myself for that

I think in that case, you just need to be up front with him. If he can't give you any specific reason why your friend is bad for you to be around (and even if he can, you are totally free to disregard that if you disagree) then he'll just have to accept that she is important to you. As long as you let him know that he's not expected to tag along on your girls' night (and she doesn't start hanging out at your house on a regular basis) it should be fine.

I don't get why he can't tell you why he doesn't like her? Is it that he won't tell you? Or he just gets weird vibes from her? Has he given you examples of her toxic behaviors? I think this is more an issue with your FH than with your friend. If everyone has always liked her it just seem strange. Maybe sit down and talk to him about it some more

She sounds manipulative to me. She's trying to make it YOUR fault that your FH doesn't like her. e.g. "It must have been something YOU said." Talk to your FH. Something deeper is going on here.

Thanks @Jennifer You made perfect sense lol your advice was greats. I police how you said he doesn't have to love everything about her. I'll definitely bring that up to him.

@Briana R. I agree it did rub me the wring way when she said that to me but I get where she is coming from because she is just trying to understand where his feelings are coming from and so am I obviously. It's like they came out of thin air. I will be asking him for specifics as per previous recommendations

This is an excellent example of not airing everything people say. When your FI said he hated her you should have NEVER repeated that to her.

After seeing my former best friend last night I could not sleep for the life of me. I was mulling over some thoughts in my head and after reading another thread this morning it reminded me of one huge glaring thing that made me question our friendship back in June. I don't know why I completely forgot about this. I am 3 years older than her, when she was 22 she came to me for advice. At the time she was dating a military boy. He was deployed most of their realtionship. She said he mentioned getting married, it wasn't a proposal. I said think about that because he may be wanting to do so for the extra pay bump. Maybe it was a bitch thing to say on my part but I was honest and she was offended. I think she took it with a grain of salt and that was the last I heard of it. They continued dating and we talked about them getting engaged. I know she wanted that from him. Sometime in early 2014 he proposed.

August of 2014, I get a phone call from her she is balling her eyes out that he is leaving her. I rush over to her that night to be with her. She drops a bomb on Mr that they've been married for 2 years! At this time her and I shared everything with eachother, or so I thought, there wasn't a thing in my life she didn't know about. Obviously that night I let it go. I didn't address until last June when we were fighting. I said to her how much it hurt, if she considered me her best friend and more of a sister why would she have kept that from me?! Now I'm almost regretting reaching out to her. Maybe that's one of those things I realized about her but tried to cover over in my head. Maybe my FH is right?

I can understand being upset that your best friend didn't tell you that she went ahead and got married but, shouldn't you be more concerned with the fact that she felt that she couldn't tell you this???

I still think it is manipulative that your FH is putting such a strong opinion on a woman that you care about without telling you why.