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Beginner June 2016

Update...bridesmaid backed out...

SaQuayla, on February 17, 2016 at 2:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Good afternoon! Well last Saturday 3 out of my 5 my bridesmaids and I went to pick out their dresses. 2 of them bought their dresses that day. The next day the one who didn't buy texted me while I was in church and said I have decided I can't be in your wedding. I was doing an ombre of corals and pinks for my bridesmaids and her color was a pretty important one. I ended up having to get the colors switched that the other 2 girls had bought. My bridesmaid that canceled on me has been around for every important thing in my life. She was even there when my fh proposed. She's come to help me pick out my wedding dress and look for bridesmaid gowns. I'm so clueless as to why she did this. Now she's making it seem like I did something to her because naturally I was a bit upset to receive a text like that out of the blue. I don't know where to go from here with the friendship and I really don't need the added stress. She's not even talking to me now. Advice?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Audrey, on February 17, 2016 at 2:13 PM

Super June 2016
lulu1180 · on February 17, 2016 at 2:03 PM
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Did you ask her what her reasons were? I would try to get some more information from her to see where she's coming from.
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Beginner June 2016
SaQuayla · on February 17, 2016 at 2:06 PM
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The only thing she told me was she wish she could but she just can't because she's not happy with herself. I've always been there to encourage and uplift her and I thought we were on the same page. We had just hung out all day the day before. I even bought her dinner. I thought money was the issue but she even told me she had the money for the dress.
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Beginner June 2016
SaQuayla · on February 17, 2016 at 2:07 PM
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She kept telling me how happy she was for me and that she couldn't wait to see me have a beautiful wedding that day. Then she suddenly tells me she can't do it.
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Master June 2016
Caroline · on February 17, 2016 at 2:07 PM
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Did she feel self conscious in the dress maybe?
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Expert March 2019
Briana · on February 17, 2016 at 2:07 PM
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Maybe she can't afford it. Just because she can't be your bridesmaid doesn't mean she can't be your friend. Give her a break. Talk it out.

ETA: Sorry we posted at the same time. Is she single? Maybe she's a little jealous and her heart hurts. It's nothing to end a friendship over, though. Let her be involved as much as she wants. She's not obligated to be a bridesmaid.
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Master May 2016
SarahMarie · on February 17, 2016 at 2:08 PM
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Have you tried to call her? Sounds like she needs a friend. Maybe financials are a problem for her. It's not something many people admit or are excited to talk about.
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Master February 2015
Bethyonce · on February 17, 2016 at 2:09 PM
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It sounds like she is uncomfortable with the idea of being up front with people right now. She needs her friend. Focus on being there for her and don't bring the wedding into it.
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Devoted May 2016
Monica · on February 17, 2016 at 2:10 PM
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Sadly I feel the same. One of my bridesmaids has been with her bf for 3 years, and he does not want to commit. My FH proposed after only a year. She has been very supporting but I can see how difficult it is for her to be involved in all the planning and dress shopping while she doesn't know where her relationship stands. Try not to take it too personally, it is not you.
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VIP April 2017
FutureMrsC · on February 17, 2016 at 2:12 PM
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Is she self conscious about her body? Maybe she thinks your other BM will look better than her? That's what her saying "I'm not happy with myself" makes me think.
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VIP June 2016
Audrey · on February 17, 2016 at 2:13 PM
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I agree with what's been said already. Take a breath...pause for a moment and then contact her to set up time together to discuss what's going on in her life. Without talking to her, you can speculate until forever but only your friend knows what's really in her head as to why she can't participate in your bridal party.
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