Sorry just a quick FMIL Rant...and would love advice

I would speak to her now and make sure you get everyone you want to be at your wedding accounted for first then only then open it up to the friends bfs

I would speak to her now and make sure you get everyone you want to be at your wedding accounted for first then only then open it up to the friends bfs

Definitely speak to her now I ran into issues with my MIl and wish I would have dealt with it sooner. you don't want that step rests as you get closer! And plus if you wait and they are traveling/ making arrangements you will be stuck :/

Yes, you are going to have to talk to her. I'm guessing she told the friends it was alright, because who just ups their invitation all on their own? On the other hand, if she didn't tell them to do it, she can be the one who goes to her friends and says, "B$t%hes, what do you think you're doing to my FDIL's wedding.....?!" Approach courteously, and good luck!

I would talk to her now at least letting her know that you only reserved one seat for her friends and that their boyfriends may not be able to come. She needs to let them know that. In the end once you have all the guests you want there let them know if they can have their plus ones or not.

Speak up now. Have your FMIL talk to the people. Everyone should understand.

Speak up now. If you don't and you run out of space, you may find yourself cutting people you want there instead of their boyfriends since you don't want to say anything to your FMIL.

Definitely say something.

Yea i agree with the others about speaking to her now instead of later.

I would speak to her now. Perhaps since you guys were trying to fill out FH's side she thought the extra people wouldn't be a problem. If that was the case, she still should have checked with you though!

I would definitely speak up because I personally think that it is very rude for a guest to change the rsvp and assume that its okay. Everyone knows that weddings are expensive and space for the venue is limited. Guest should respect that and if they have a question about the invitation they should ask the bride and groom first instead of just changing it.

That's very rude of her friends, but that aside, I agree with everyone else that said you should speak up now-and you should make sure your FMIL is the one doing the awkward phone calls.

Well, aren't you suppose to add a plus 1 for adults? I would tell your fmil that you didn't realize they were going to have a plus 1 with her invites and she should have cut the "friend list" in half since it is only PROPER to add a plus 1! But really how rude is it to UNINVITE someone? What good would it do?

Honestly I'm really surprised no one else said it! You should have expected plus 1s when you told her and made her cut her guest list in half if you didn't have room. That being said.... yes it is rude to mark off the 1 and put a 2!

OP has never met these people. How is she to know/assume they have significant others? That's a really dirty little stunt pulled by FMIL for not discussing in full detail.

The apologetic tact is always your best bet. "Hey, Mother in Law, I'm so sorry to dump this in your lap, but some of your friends have added significant others we just can't accommodate. You'll need to call and tell them we're so sorry about any confusion and inconvenience." And maybe you'll luck out and they won't want to come stag, thus opening up more space!

I don't think anyone should ever assume they get a plus one. Super rude! I'd be upset too...I'm actually afraid this might happen to me since I let FMIL invite a few friends from work.

Thanks so much for the advice guys, I'm so sorry I didn't respond earlier (I had engagement photos and my bachelorette back to back). We are seeing my FMIL this up coming weekend so I will update you on what happened!

That is the main reason why we are paying for our own wedding. I wouldn't like my in laws inviting who ever they want. Umm wedding is for the bride and groom not in laws. IDK why would the in laws invite without consulting yous first. I would just go ahead and say something since seats are limited.

I'm with you, @Angie, adults are supposed to get plus ones. You should have known your venue's capacity and made your guest list accordingly, only filling in enough friends with their plus ones to make up for the lack of his family. It's too late now.

ETA: I mean it's too late to not have done it that way, but now you have to figure out a way to fix the problem.

I've never heard of a rule where adults are supposed to get a plus one. If they aren't in a serious relationship why give them a plus one just bc of their age. I wouldn't want to pay for their "flavor of the week" just bc it's "required". I think FMIL guest were very rude for changing the RSVP especially since you have no idea who they are. I would tell her the only way their boyfriends are getting an invite is if FMIL pays for them. That shouldn't be your families responsibility just bc she wanted to invite a friend.