Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

C
Just Said Yes May 2018

Shh wedding then ceremony and reception

Charlesa, on December 29, 2017 at 12:34 AM Posted in Planning 0 35
Saved
Reply
So we are going to the courthouse to sign the marriage license January 8th. Doing name change and all. But we are not announcing it. Everybody knows we are engaged and that the ceremony is May 21st, 2018. We want to do either a brunch wedding with finger foods and desserts or a bbq style reception after a very small ceremony(ave the option to host the wedding and reception at home. I just don't know how it will not be known that we were legally married 4 months before the wedding especially because my name will change. I'm even excited about signing the license. I wouldn't be able to contain happiness of that day. And I will wear both rings. Ugh any advice?

35 Comments

Latest activity by Susan, on December 30, 2017 at 7:29 AM
  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    You cant legally get married twice. Why keep it a secret? Or why get married before your other ceremony? Maybe just have a reception in May.
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2018
    Charlesa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Even in my wedding planning, couples obtain the marriage license before the ceremony all the time. The marriage is for us. The wedding is to share it with our guests. Also it's done because we were going to simply elope and have a courthouse wedding ceremony but we would like to have our families attend a ceremony. However we had already set the date so we decided to have the ceremony when we could plan out the ceremony and reception.
    • Reply
  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Just tell people, and invite them to a reception at a later date. That way you don't have to lie to anyone. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    So. What are you inviting your guests to witness? I'm confused. You'll already be married.

    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2018
    Charlesa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The ceremony. Even if we did the ceremony first they wouldn't witness us signing the paperwork. We want them to be there to for a ceremony. My older sister had a courthouse wedding and a larger wedding later down the line. Most courthouse weddings have a ceremony following. It is similar to renewing vows.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted August 2018
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    You don’t!!

    You dont lie lie to friends and family for months. You tell people you got married and you are having a celebration in May. Your ceremony is a vow renewal.

    May we inquire the need for a courthouse wedding first?? Why not just wait until the may date?
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted August 2018
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    No. Most courthouse weddings do not have a ceremony later. The courthouse wedding is the wedding.

    Dont confuse getting a marriage license with actually getting married. As far as paper work, the license is usually signed following the ceremony with the officiant. Unless your Jewish in which signing religious documents at a family ceremony immediately before the ceremony.
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    So you'll be telling your guests that they will be witnessing your wedding? That's not true though, right?

    • Reply
  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Going before the JOP, Signing the marriage license, and filing the license at the courthouse is your ceremony. What you will be doing after that in May is a Celebration of Marriage/a vow renewal.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.hays
    VIP April 2018
    Mrs.hays ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Don’t lie to your guests. Call it a celebration of marriage or a vow renewal because that’s what it will be.
    • Reply
  • Susan
    Super November 2018
    Susan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Lying to your family and friends, to those closest to you, is going to go over really well.

    they will find out. Somehow, some way, they will find out and that deception over something so major can cause huge damage to any relationship. Your wedding will be in January. That is your wedding day. Why do you need a pretty princess party after that? For gifts?
    • Reply
  • Kelsey Brielle
    Super June 2022
    Kelsey Brielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Just because you are getting the marriage license does not mean you are getting married. Are you confusing the two? Or are you actually getting the license and going before the JOP, saying vows ect on that day. If so then you are getting married and the cermony/reception in May should just be a celebration of marriage and not a second ceremony. I think you should tell your family or make sure that your invitations say Celebration of Marriage.
    • Reply
  • Jill
    Expert August 2018
    Jill ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    There are so many of these posts. I will never understand why people want to hide their marriage and lie to family and friends. So not cool. Vow renewal, reception/party later? Yes, but please don't lie/hide the fact that you got married prior.
    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted September 2017
    jj ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I just did the same, but we told our families and before the religious wedding we inform our friends. I would recommend you to tell them, less stress, no hurt feelings and your second celebration will not be anything less. In my country it is very common to have two ceremonies, since the religious wedding is not recognized by the state. Keeping it a secret would only cause problems for no reason.

    • Reply
  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This is generally considered rude. I would skip the ceremony in May since you'll already be married.

    • Reply
  • The Bride
    VIP May 2017
    The Bride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Oh, I'm "ugh" too...

    I have lots of advice, but I have this sneaking suspicion that it won't matter. So here's a picture of a puppy trying to eat an orange.

    .....Shh wedding then ceremony and reception 1


    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Let the cat out of the bag and tell people, celebrate your excitement! You can still do a celebration of marriage in May & a renewal of vows as your ceremony. I def would not lie to anyone, it's not fair to your family. I had friends do this and it turned a lot of people off.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Awe I Smiley heart this!

    • Reply
  • ThePeoplesBride
    VIP October 2020
    ThePeoplesBride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Exactly!
    Deceiving those closest to you may be the worst way to kick start a marriage.

    But I have the feeling that OP, and everyone else who has posted something similar, is just going to do it anyway.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Expert September 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You are starting the biggest commitment of your life on a network of lies, told to everyone you love.

    If that's your style, go for it.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics