OMG - I am tired of this friend's suggestions! RANT

I thin its ok if your co-workers want to through you a work shower, even if they aren't attending wedding. but I am not 100% sure on shower etiquette.

I don't know, good luck. Just keep saying I have this under control, but thanks for your ideas.

"Hmm, let me run that by the WWs and get back to you."

Oh no lol....I read this and pictured your friend to be Melissa McCarthy's character in "Bridesmaids" hahahahahaha

It's fine to have a small work shower if they want to throw you it. My work always throws bridal/baby showers for each other and aren't always invited to wedding.

I think work showers are ok and the one exception the the "everyone at the shower gets invited to the wedding" rule. BUT in this case if the coworker organizing the shower is also a bridesmaid I think that complicates things. If your boss or someone else in the office organized the shower, I think you be ok. But I think the coworker ALSO being a bridesmaid would negate that. Thanks goodness for your MOH. She sounds like she's got the right idea.

4. I am going to get wasted at your wedding and find a "boy toy" to take with me. Me: You are an adult, I hope you enjoy yourself at the wedding. However, FH and I are not responsible for your choices or any resulting aftermath caused by them.

5. You should be rolling in the $$ after your wedding since your guest list is so big! Me: What? She says, "Well since everyone has to give a cash gift of at least the cost of their meal." Me: WTF? NO - our guests are not EXPECTED to bring a gift of any sort, and are not paying for their meal, drinks, etc.

6. I'm going to organize your bachelorette party - strippers, bar hopping, etc. - because you need to really party before you "settle down." Me: No thank you. That is not what I am interested in doing. This is not what I do on a "usual" night out, and I do not want to do it now. I am already settled down, I did that stuff years ago. She says, "Well, I'm going to surprise you and you can't say no because you won't know when it's happening."

I am so worn out by her....

@GrumpyCatRebecca - this coworker with all of these ideas is not a BM. She is just a long time friend and coworker (more than 10 years). We socialize outside of work, and she has been invited to the wedding.

Ugh she's annoying!

She sounds exhausting. I will echo others--it's okay to have a work shower if they want to throw one knowing they aren't invited to the wedding--but it's also your right to refuse any and all showers/bachelorettes and she needs to respect that. I'm sorry she's making things awkward for you.

My co-workers threw me a shower with no expectation of an invite. They just wanted to celebrate with me.

I feel you. I have one that keeps saying let me make your invitations. She lives in Cali and I'm in Texas. Plus i already know what i want for my invites. She keeps trying to get FH to have me call and talk to her. I just haven't been in the mood to deal with her. She's very set in her ways. Hope Your situation with her gets better!

The only one of those I'd take a serious offense to would be the stripper thing. If you don't want it, she needs to respect that. What will you do if she does that? Or will your MOH head her off at the pass?

Wow so many bad suggestions, thankfully you and your MOH put her in her place.

Thanks for the clarification. I probably should just refrain from posting before noon. I have trouble with reading comprehension in the morning.

I think that its alright to have a work shower without inviting everyone to the wedding. Maybe you should let her throw you one and maybe she will concentrate on that and not on all that other crazy stuff.

She is on this level

I really thought a work shower was poor etiquette - my MOH said several people asked her about having one at work. She has told them I requested not to do it, which is correct because I thought it would be in bad form.

As for the other friend, my MOH is a Wonder Woman & has helped me a lot with her shenanigans!

Thanks everyone for reading & responding to this rant.

Since my MOH is throwing me a small shower that includes only coworkers and friends that are invited to the wedding, and it is at her home, I do not actually expect a "work" shower. MOH has advised multiple people at work (not invited to wedding) there won't be a "work" shower. So I do not expect to have one, even though it has been the usual practice for people at work to do this for weddings & babies - very similar to what bevaroo described above.

Oh goodness.