Old user/New acc to stay anonymous. But please help?

And was told to wait outside. Which was upsetting to begin with, I'm her mum, I want to know.

But the Dr called me in and said we needed to go straight to and e as she needed mental health assessment straight away, six hours later we are allowed to go home. They trusted me to keep her safe.

I feel like I don't know what to do next!

She has been grounded cos she ran away last Friday night, and it took me three hours to find her. That combined with lying to me and the other girls dad about where they were, her pretending to be me on text to her mates dad and vice versa. So I grounded her for two weeks. Includes missing a party at the school she is hoping to switch to next week after an appeal, do I keep her grounded or allow her to go as psychiatrist suggests, but I need to set boundaries too. If I back down she won't learn.

I want to be a good mum!

Wow.... Lots and lots of hugs. My eldest and I have had a heck of a ride as well, but not like that. She's in therapy for an eating disorder. My daughter is currently 5'6, 125-130lbs and struggles with feeling fat. She's come a long way since she started therapy over a year ago, when she was hospitalized because of the way she was eating. She missed her HS graduation, in the hospital.

All I can say is that, yes, get her in therapy (and maybe yourself as well), but the key is to find somebody that connects with your daughter. It will do no good at all to get her to therapy only to not have her talk about what she really needs to talk about.

I struggled a lot in my teenage years with depression (which was actually bipolar disorder) and suicidal thoughts and an actual attempt. I'm saying this because my parents took me to therapy. I think that is 100% what she needs. She has a lot of feelings and conflicting emotions bottled up about her father and speaking with a professional/non-involved party may be what she needs. I couldn't talk to my parents about how I felt. Not just because they didn't know how to handle me and at times were emotionally unavailable, but I didn't want my parents to be upset thinking about how I've thought several times that I wanted to no longer be here. I've actually been hospitalized twice, and the combination of both the therapy and those visits honestly saved my life and I have never been better for it.

Definitely seek professional treatment for her. If she needs to be hospitalized and if she is threatening suicide or doing other behaviors such as running away, self mutilation, etc. she may need to be placed into a facility to keep her safe for the time being. Also, both of these resources can give her resources in how to deal with her father and provide coping mechanisms. Therapy is definitely more for medication and venting. Also, is there anything you can do custody wise to keep her from having to be around her father?

Depending on country in-patient treatment isn't always an option.

On the NHS, for example, there are not enough spaces nationally to take everyone in mental health that needs one and no rules that say they can't send someone where there is a space (even if it's at the other end of the country to their normal residence or support network).

Most psych treatment is out patient or under the care of a GP surgery/social services support workers.

(This isn't a directed comment, just something to bare in mind for those making suggestions for going forward - there are huge differences in health care and what you can do/what is available outside the US.)

I think some others have given you good advice, but I just wanted to say that the doctor isn't excluding you to upset you. It's part of the therapist-client relationship--everything is confidential unless your daughter says otherwise or is a danger to herself or others. She needs to be able to trust that the therapist won't repeat everything to you or she won't feel comfortable talking to the therapist about whatever she needs to discuss. Try to understand that and don't feel hurt about it.

And do what you can to minimize your ex's influence in her life.

My sister went through this when she was in high school, and it is very difficult for everyone involved because it's not something that can be fixed very easily. Also, really the only person who can actually truly "fix" this is the one who going through the depression and having these destructive feelings, they have to want to not be depressed/kill themselves they have to want to get better and seek the help they require/take advantage of the help that is being given to him/her.

You can force your daughter into all the therapy sessions, you can hospitalize her for months - she isn't going to get better unless she wants to. At this point your job is to show her how loved and supported she is, that no matter what she is going through she has people around her who will always be there for her and not judge her for her choices.

It turns out my sister was going through this because she was a lesbian, and confused and scared by her feelings towards people of the same sex. I'm saying this because there may be a reason for this behaviour (not necessarily that she gay), but it could be just that she is going through something that she doesn't know how to handle and she doesn't feel like she can be open about it. I remember that during this time my mom and my sister got into a screaming match and out of no where my mom yelled, "I don't know what is wrong, are you gay?? Because if so that's okay! I just want you to be happy!" It wasn't long after that, that my sister started to take a turn for the better.

Poor baby. I can only tell you she needs lots of love and attention but firm boundaries and a therapist or someone she can talk openly to. You need to get her involved in a hobby, something she loves to make her fell better and excited. Good luck to her.

If I didn't have to go to work in a minute, this response would be longer but I am so sorry she is going through this. When I was in 5th grade I told my mom I was afraid of killing my self. Therapy was the best thing for me and getting on the right medication to sort out the chemical imbalance in my brain. Just remember it's not her fault that she is feeling this way. Don't punish her right now but do set guidelines. Hugs.

I'm not a parent, nor a professional so I can't say I have a lot of valid advice. But I have had mental health issues in the past and battle clinical depression daily.

I personally think going to the party at the new school may be helpful. It might give her something to look forward to. But you can set strict boundaries around it. Nothing before or after, the party then home, she is still technically grounded. Meaning, she technically lost the privilege of going, but that as her parent, you do agree that it is an important event.

As far as the other issues, it sounds like the hospital may have decided she wasn't in immediate danger. There is a difference between being an immediate harm/danger to yourself and/or others and the ideation of it. Suicidal thoughts can be a part of depression. They are scary, always. But it might be the hospital realized she is not planning out the actions at this time and believes you will recognize the signs if she is attempting any suicidal actions versus having thoughts due to a chemically imbalanced brain.

Get her help. Therapy and meds. Both approaches are key. Depression is almost always two fold. Even if she winds being able to go off meds eventually, it can help to get things balanced while she learns to cope with the issues from her father. And she may wind not being able to go off meds. Some people have a chemical imbalance just the same as people have diabetes. But only a professional can separate the two. My thoughts are with you both. It's a scary time. I've been there, but you can get through it. It does get better with lots of hard work.

I don't have much advice to offer but just wanted to tell you that my heart hurts for you. As a mother, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to not know how to help your baby!! I will be praying for you and your daughter.

So very sorry to hear about your baby girl. I hope all the best to her!

See if there's a program in your area for partial hospitalization. It's like inpatient therapy treatment but it's kind of a "day camp" set up. They can provide her with skills and support and will connect you with a therapist to use post-discharge. In the meantime we are here to support you! Hugs!!

I am really sorry this is happening for you. What I am going to say next is going to seem a little harsh so please know that I am saying this in the most respectful way possible: get advice from professionals, not from WW. Go to a counselor who is familiar with teens and suicidal ideation. Get help now.

You can't always tell if someone is serious or trying to get attention so you need to seek professional help and find her a counselor. This is not a topic for brides on WW. It's just not, and very few are equipped to give you the kind of advice you need.

Delete the fake account, since it's against TOS anyway, and go get some real help. Good luck.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your daughter. I commend you for supporting your daughter though. I had depression and suicidal thoughts as a teenager but my parents are the type of people who don't believe in mental health, so they just ignored it. I finally started medication when I was 19 and broke down crying at my primary care doctor's office. Definitely make sure she's in a good therapy program. As much as it sucks that you feel un-involved in the therapy, she will open up to her therapist much more than she would open up to her parent. About the party at the other school, I would let her go - especially if the therapist recommends it. While you need to make sure she knows her boundaries, running away was more than likely not about testing you, but about running from her problems. Keeping her from one of the few things it seems she envisions as positive right now - the new school and new friends - will probably do more harm than good. Granted, I have no children, so I'm really not one to be giving advice here, but I do know a lot about being a teenager with depression. Big hugs to you and your daughter!!

First of all, my heart breaks for you and your family. Big hugs. Second, I had a horrible childhood, so horrible that as an adult I needed 10 years of therapy to be able to be happy. I could only imagine how much greater my life could have been had I started that sooner. It took a few different appointments before I found a therapist I liked, the first few appointments with the other Drs I didn't talk I just nodded. When I first met the therapist for me everything came rushing out instantly, I wouldn't shut up. Please get her help, it's what she needs and there is no shame in it at all, and do not give up after the first attempt - just try a different doctor. I'm praying for her.

OP, my heart goes out to you. This is an incredibly difficult situation. I went through the very same thing with my oldest son. He is nearly 20 now, but when he was just 17, he made a nearly successful attempt. The most important thing that you can do right now is get a therapist for her and for yourself. I agree that you need to find one that she connects with. As far as boundaries, yes, she needs to have them, but don't stop her from seeing her friends. Just keep a closer eye. Therapy will help. Having someone to talk to works wonders. I've been where you are now. If you would like to connect, I'd be more than happy to speak with you via PM. Good luck.

Thank you everyone. The hospital have already said they will arrange therapy. I disnt post this for advice as such, not on what she should do, she will get the help. I just needed to talk to someone myself, I am embarrassed to speak to real life friends, as I feel like a bad mum.

I feel helpless.

You care about your daughter and want what's best for her. It's clear you love her dearly.

You're far from a bad mum.

You are so far from being a bad mom. It's so hard to see your child suffering and not being able to help them. You have already done the best thing you can for her and have gotten her help. As a parent, it's so hard to go through something like this and be unsure of your actions or if you could have done something to prevent this but all that matters now is that you are there, you are taking action and you are supporting her. And we absolutely will be here for you. It's important you take care of yourself as well.

You sound like a GREAT mom. It can be so difficult being the caregiver for a person going through a tough time--make sure you're taking care of YOU too! Whether it's seeing your own therapist, taking a yoga class, whatever you like to do!