NWR- how did/do you know you're ready to start a family?

Who says you never know? I've never heard that, lol. Instead, I've heard that if you keep waiting until you're 100% ready, you'll never be ready.

DH and I are already excited to have kids, but we put ourselves on a timeline. We are going to pay off all our debt in the next 2 years, and then start trying.

I think the only way to be "ready" is on paper. Like Kassy and Spazzy mentioned, making sure you're set financially and that you're happy with your living situation are two pretty good starts. I think for us, we have a timeline (a year) by which we'd like to absolutely be actively trying but if it happened now, that would be ok too. We only feel this way, however, because we have those other things we talked about more or less lined up. Our only big thing is that if we have a baby, we will need to sell our condo and move somewhere more child friendly and with more space but we could easily stay in the condo for a year after the baby was born. I think for the emotional/personal wellbeing side, that's much harder to pinpoint. Just remember, when you have a baby (or get married or move or any big life choice) it's not the end of something, it's the beginning of something different.

The Dr. said "just kidding you can have kids, but on the bright side, you don't have mono like we thought". For future kids we looked at what we had saved up and how much we were bringing in each year. For us we wanted to make sure that FH's salary was enough to support us prior to trying again in case I wasn't comfortable going back to work. We also wanted to make sure that the other things we wanted in life wouldn't fly completely out of the window.

ETA: Making sure that we had jobs that had good insurance was another must, as well as making sure that I work somewhere with maternity leave.

We're ready, but are waiting until we're married to try. We've been together for 9 years, living together for 2 and a half. We own a home and are financially stable. I think we're at just the right age (we're both in our mid-upper 20's). Now is better than ever.

I have heard that "you are never ready" which I believe since kids can change your entire life (good ways) but I think that DH and I are waiting until we are more financially stable and have less debt to try. We had a pregnancy right after the wedding and miscarried though we weren't trying. Now we are waiting to make sure we are in a good place. It will need to be more $ in savings, and the time off for me from work with FMLA and Short term disability

I agree that you are "never ready" but I respectfully disagree on when you know you want them.

I think you will DEFINITELY know when you're getting baby fever. I didn't have it for a long, long time but in my mid-thirties I got it in spades. I researched sperm donors, in vitro, adoption, single parenthood, etc. Had baby fever but ultimately didn't know how I could have the career I had and be a single mom. I wasn't dating anyone. I didn't think I'd get married. I didn't want to adopt only to have a full time nanny. It wasn't a rational choice for me. So ... it wasn't in the cards in my case but when that biological clock went off, I was consumed.

H and I are not going to have kids or adopt but every now and then I get twinges of "what if" and kind of sad.

I, too, have heard "you are never ready". You'll always make it work no matter your financial standings, or the amount of space in your house, etc.

My only advice, don't wait too long to try, because for some women, it's hard to conceive, and they don't realize until further down the line.

And to add to the "losing" yourself part. I have witnessed this first hand, via my mom. She literally (as do most mothers), poured her whole life into her children. Neglecting anyone and everyone else, including herself. There needs to be a balance between motherhood and YOU.

Make sure to jump back into your hobbies, focus on you and your husband. Have girls' nights. Do whatever you need to do for YOU.

When the thought of having kids excites you more than it scares you.

I don't think it's that "you're never ready," but that there's never a perfect time. There's always a new job, someone's wedding, a trip you want to take, more money you could save. But when your desire to have a kid outweighs these things and you're willing to sacrifice for the child, then you're ready.

I love reading these. Thank you.

What has spurred this on for me was late period this month. We both got really excited. Our time frame was originally 6 months from now.

I don't want kids, so ymmv, but I think when you're financially and practically ready (eg, you are able to take time off, you are healthy, etc), and you actually want to have kids, and there is a place in your life for them, you are ready. I don't know if you'll feel 100% ready ever, but I think those are the important parts, the ability and desire to support them.

We are emotionally ready right now, it actually pains us a little that we don't have kids yet. But we need to be more stable. By that I mean that we need to be in a place more family friendly than Los Angeles, possibly own a home but at least not be in a 1 bedroom apartment, and possibly be closer to family... but who knows. We both want kids soon, probably about a year after the wedding

We are young (22) so definitely not ready right now...but my cousin got married when she was 21. She's 27 now and just had her first baby in June. She tried for over a year so she was about 25 when she started feeling "ready." She recently told me, "Wait until you and your husband want a baby more than anything else in the whole world."

I've been mentally/emotionally ready for several years now but hadn't found the "right" guy yet. I've already told FH that I plan on trying almost immediately after the wedding, but we are in our mid 30s so we don't necessarily have as much time as some others and because of my age, I'm actually considered "advanced maternal age." But like everyone said, if you wait until you're ready, you'll never have kids because you'll always be able to find way that you don't feel you're quite ready yet!

For me, it was when DH said, "Hey, you're almost done with your internship-- we should start a family!" My first thought was, "What? US?! You've got to be kidding!" but I mulled on it for a day and decided he was right. That was 13 years ago and we now have two happy, healthy boys.

And, actually, I *did* feel ready-- DH was well established in his career, I'd finished grad school and my internship and was ready to move into the next step of my career-- perfect time to start a family! Actually, most people I know really did take stock and say, "OK, now we're ready."