NWR: FH and I are in a disagreement on this...what's your take?

I would be upset if DH told another woman he thought she is pretty. He could mention it to me later (if we were discussing it) and I wouldn't be offended. He's told me before that friends of mine are dating guys that are outpunting their coverage by dating my friends, which is his way of saying what is your pretty friend doing dating that schmuck. But he wouldn't go tell my friends (or any other woman) that he thought she is pretty. That wouldn't be ok. Usually when he says something like that, I agree and wonder how the guy got so lucky.

ETA: if a random guy came up to me in the grocery store and told me I was pretty, I would be super offended and creeped out. And, if DH is with me and some guy said I was pretty, he would get offended and protective. I also wouldn't prefer to be called pretty or anything like that. I would prefer that someone compliment me on something else, like a project I've been working on, my intellectual interests, or my (in my opinion) great sense of humor. A stranger telling me I'm pretty would just be weird.

I prefer strangers leave me alone in the grocery store, but if FH wanted to compliment a coworker who looked particularly nice one day I think that's fine and he wouldn't care if a coworker of mine complimented me.

Umm if FH goes out of his way to go up to another woman to say she is pretty I'd be pissed. If he wants to point it out but is telling me I wouldn't really mind and possibly agree I can appreciate a pretty woman but no I'm not ok with him going out of his way to say hey stranger your pretty gorgeous or whatever that's not ok. At Least not for me. ETA : just wanted to say if it's someone he personally knows and she so happens to look pretty that day then that's not bothersome.

I wouldn't mind if FH did that because he is just genuinely a nice guy. That being said he would never do it.

There's no need for my fiancé to tell someone else they are pretty or whatever. We can talk about it. That's fine. Obv he is going to think others are attractive but I don't think it's appropriate to go tell them.

Stranger danger.

I suppose it depends on the situation.

FH will randomly compliment my co workers, and on very rare occasions other women(but it's typically been while we are either having a conversation with said person, or he can tell they had a rough day). He usually compliments them on their shoes, purse, or hair though.

Doesn't upset me one bit, but then again he isn't walking up to a random woman in the store.

On the other side, I have randomly complimented men, and women(usually standing in line at the store)

I don't want total strangers to comment on anything about me.

I would be fine if an acquaintance told me i looked nice or they liked my dress. Also i think compliments come off more genuine from other women

So, I guess I maybe need to add a little bit more here, I don't mean for him to go out of his way to say something or vise versa, but if he passed a girl somewhere and noticed she was pretty or had really nice hair or something, it wouldn't upset me...but if he was like trying to track a girl down to say something that would be irritating. I just know that people in general like to receive compliments...and I like to tell people when I notice something about them...be it their really cool shirt, their eyes, their hair, or whatever...but I do this to girls and guys. Not like "hey you're hot" just things like "I like your shirt" "your eyes are pretty, or cool" "I love your shoes" things like that

We both are natural flirts so for us it's a non issue.

It's hard to make a blanket thing about it. Small commits about being pretty are the only reason I got any self esteem (appearance wise) back after having my face spilt lol. And I wouldn't believe my friends. It's easy for guys to cross the line of coming across creepy though.

Just comes down to what you both are comfy with in your relationship

If a guy comes up to me and tells me he thinks I'm pretty, and I don't know who that person is, I'm turning around immediately and walking in the other direction.

I feel very uncomfortable when random people hit on me. It would be different if someone compliments my dress or something, but I'm not a fan when they call me hot, etc.

I would also feel uncomfortable with FH going up to random women and telling them he things their beautiful. He should only tell me or his mother they we are beautiful, not some random chick.

I appreciate all the feedback, and I can see where everyone is coming from. For me, I know he is going to find others attractive, as will I, but I know that ultimately he loves me, and wants to be with me, if he didn't, he wouldn't have put up with my crazy for the last 3 years. I trust him so it's not an issue. But you guys have helped open my eyes more to see where he is coming from on the situation. Thanks for your input.

Hmm.. No i wouldn't be a happy camper. If he said to someone he knew "you look nice today" or "your hair looks good like that" it's different. But if he walks up to a stranger and said "you're pretty" I would be 50 shades of pissed. I understand that he thinks other women are pretty (he routinely reminds me of his crush on Jennifer Aniston.. And let's be honest she gorgeous). But to go out of his way to say it to a stranger would make me feel very inadequate.

FH is very kind and respectful to me and others. He does not like attention from women (other than me) and will only compliment women he knows on things like hair, style, etc. But honestly compliments are not a big deal, however flirting is. We both know the difference and neither of us do that. If he went up to a random woman saying she was pretty, I would find that disrespectful to me and the woman. If I were called pretty by a married man randomly I would find that quite odd. To me its common sense, if I would not like him to do a certain thing, more than likely he would not then. Now if your FH would not like for you to go up to a guy and say he's handsome, you should respect that...although that should have already been established while dating. Even if you think it would be okay for him to go up to a girl and tell her shes pretty, you both should continue to talk about the subject and really take in consideration each others feelings

@Brittany I do take his feelings into consideration, always, he is my best friend...and I love him. I don't tell random guys they are handsome or anything, but have made comments on people's clothes and such. We have never encountered a situation like this so when the subject came up, I realized we have different views on it. It was FBIL that brought the subject up, and the three of us discussed it to great length. I would never do anything to make FH feel like I didn't have respect for him and his feelings.

Ashley I'm much the same as you when it comes to complimenting strangers but I keep it limited to their clothes and accessories and generally only do it if said person looks to be having a really bad day. I also appreciate hearing random things from the cashier at the supermarket, etc. But I live in a small and safe country where most people know most people. When I lived in London, if someone made the same comment to me, it would make me uncomfortable because I know too much about catcalling to let it slide.

If a guy came up to me in a bigger country and told me I was pretty, and his girlfriend was there with him, my first thought would be "Are they looking for a threesome"?

Discussing it among yourselves is harmless and healthy. You just have to accept that you are individuals with different approaches and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you each understand where the other person is coming from!

Yeeeeeah. If a random dude walked up to me to tell me I was pretty I would 1- worry he was going to kill me and 2- think he needs to stfu cause he's a stranger and his opinion is meaningless and the fact that he thinks his opinion would mean anything to me is an example of men's entitlement to women's bodies.

So no. No that is not okay.

I would be upset if FH told some rando she was pretty. He might mean nothing by it but you have no idea how that person will take it.

Nope. I couldn't handle this. I'm okay with FH occasionally pointing out an actress that's pretty. I usually agree with him. But real life people, no way. I'm too jealous for things like that. I would prefer he not randomly go up to women and tell them they're pretty. That would just make me more insecure. Maybe I'm over your jealous, but whatever.

*saw

That's where I stopped reading.