Non-guests wanting to celebrate

Do you think they expect to be invited to the wedding?

I'd file this away as the same etiquette as a work bridal shower, as they are all from your work. I don't think it's a huge deal that they aren't invited.

No, I'm pretty sure they know they aren't coming. There's a lot of talk of how we should instagram the wedding so they can see everything. I still don't know if that makes it okay to accept their gifts and food in celebration though.

I think the issue here isn't that they're not invited to the wedding, but more so that they're your students. If anything happens (i.e. them getting hands on alcohol) you guys would be liable. I think you guys should politely decline and let them know that you appreciate their gesture, but as their teachers, it just isn't appropriate. Maybe have something after school on school grounds that's pre-approved by administration?

I would talk to your administration. They have to have dealt with this before. If not, they should be able to guide you and tell you what's appropriate.

@Keri, students take teachers out to eat all the time here. It's an accepted practice at the school, and considered fine so long as you're with a whole class and not one particular group of students so that we aren't perceived to be playing favorites. I know it doesn't work like that in public schools, but it's a done thing here.

I agree with @Keri that the problem is you're talking about kids. That's a disqualifier for me.

That's such an nice gesture. No ideas how to handle it etiquette wise. If you let them

my thoughts would be:

A.) What are your wedding favors could you spare some for the girls?

B.) Maybe get a mock wedding cake and let them enjoy a small aspect of the wedding?

Small things go a long way.

I work at a casino. I can't invite my whole dept. However, the night of the wedding my sister is going to drop off cup cakes to my dept. from the wedding. They are so excited about it.

Just be like "Oh thank you so much for the thoughtful gesture but FH and I feel awful because we're only having a small wedding."

I think it is a work shower and as long as eating out with students is a normal thing for your school then it is fine.

I feel like if they know they aren't coming, and your school won't have a problem with it, it's okay. It's a really unique situation, so I don't think there's clear etiquette on this.

I agree with considering it a work shower. I went to a public high school, but we were very close to our teachers to the point we would have study sessions before finals and such at restaurants near the school. As long as it isn't out of the ordinary for students and teachers to do that kind of thing, I don't see a problem.

Thanks guys!

I really like the idea of getting them some favors. We're doing chocolate seashells, so maybe we can hand those out at the dinner and then do a mock wedding cake a bit closer to the day. That way, they'll feel like part of things and I'll feel less weird about accepting their hospitality.

If they are high school kids then they probably know nothing about etiquette and are just excited their teachers are getting married. I would go out to dinner and then bring them back something from your wedding. Like if it is on the beach bring them some sand and shells from where you got married, or a cheaper gift from a shop (key chain, pencils, post cards). Or give them favors from your wedding. That will mean a lot to them. I don't think this makes you rude or anything like that.