Marriage Related: Have you talked about who will care for aging parents?

We actually haven't talked about this in full, except that in my family, I cannot care for my aging parents. They're divorced, don't get along, and both live out of state from me. My mom has the money set aside but my father does not. I'm also an only child.

With regard to his parents, they do have some money set aside but there's a big question mark since they're self employed.

D:

We have a bit. FH feels his dad would rather hire a nurse than go live with his children. But I would welcome his dad into our home. FH feels since he is the least moochy of his siblings, they can take care of his mom. I would absolutely welcome my parents, and FH agrees.

ETA: it definitely is not something we have any financial planning for at the moment, though.

Four words, long term care policies

My mom and step-father have everything planned from long-term care to burial. It was the best gift they could have given to us.

We are relocating to FL next year. The move is for many reasons, but a main reason is FH's mom. She is NOT a planner/saver. When his father died in 2003, they didn't even have life insurance. FH wants to be closer in case she needs him. I have no issue with this because I love her. However, I am a little annoyed that he has a brother who already lives 40 minutes from her. He also has two sisters that live about three hours away from her. Yet, he and I will be moving over 1200 miles to take care of her in the event that it's necessary. Family!

In my husband's family, they take care of the parents. He expects our daughter will do the same for him. It's a bit different as my husband has 9 siblings to pitch in. We have only 1 child. My father's parents needed help as health declined, but were pretty independent. My Mom's Mom always lived with my Uncle. She was widowed when my Mom was a baby. Not sure what her finances were.

Disney nut is right. Except they are very expensive if parents are already old and ailing.

We (well I) plan on having an "in-law" suite in the next home we buy, where parents will stay in declining health. Luckily our parents are far enough apart in age where we will only need to care for one set of parents at a time. I have a feeling his little brother will be more responsible for his parents, though. I don't want my parents in a home, and although neither of them have saved anything for that type of care, I hope to be financially established enough to deal with it. We don't want kids. My dad is almost 70 now, and although he is still working and in great health, it won't be long before I'll have to start thinking about his care.

My husband's parents are well prepared to support themselves and have set aside funds for it.

My Mother passed away 5 years ago, however my Father lives stipend check to stipend check and will have nothing left for when he is no longer able to earn an income for himself. My husband and I have already discussed that when we look for our next home in about 10-15 years we will factor in needing an additional room for my Dad. He is currently 50 and in good health so we have some time before it is needed. If we don't get a new house we have discussed where he will fit into our current home (remodel the basement into a room for him or one of our potential future kids.) My brother is in the military and constantly moving so I doubt he could take him. I have not talked to my Dad about it (it would offend his self-sufficient pride) but I am prepared for it if the time comes.

The only thing we've officially discussed is that none of our parents will be staying with us. I absolutely could not handle being a caregiver, my job is stressful enough as it is. I don't know what my parents plan is financially, I guess I should talk to them about that!

My parents are gone so we only have his to think of. His mother is across country with his sister, so I imagine she will be the one to take care of her. His mother also takes care of her "ladies" and works palliative care and cares for ailing elderly people so I feel she'd have no problem at all with hired help because well, it's what she does!

His dad would likely fall on us, and I am okay with that. It's uncharted territory for me since my parents left suddenly, but I would have no problem helping care for him. However I feel that he would prefer to have help than live with us and have his child(ren) care for him directly. He's very independent and solitary, I think he'd rather stay in his own home as long as possible, but we will do what we can whenever that time comes.

I'm 30 and my mother is 46 so I have a ways to go to talk about who is going to take care of her. She may not want care anyways. She an mule. My dad is lost in the wind. He may die in jail as much as he goes in. He only come out for vacations, literally!!!

FH family have all already planned their elderly years and funerals. So everything is set for us

We'll end up caring for my parents, separately, since they hate each other yet live like a mile in opposite directions from us.

DH's parents are both deceased.

Wow. That sucks. But yet....I'm pretty sure my husband's parents are planning the same thing. My husband's parents cared for their parents (well....I use the word "care" loosely here) and I'm pretty sure they will be expecting their three children/wives to take care of them. Well there is no way in hell that's happening. Sure we'll help out, but there is no way I'm being their caretaker. I'm pretty sure the burden will fall on the other two wives who are easily pushed over. You know what? Should've treated me better. My parents are firm with me that they will not be a burden and have saved for long term care. However, my parents are supportive and amazing and I'd prefer to have them or one of them with me until it got to be too much for them/me.

There's both my parents and FH's Mom who will be relocating after the wedding next summer to her oldest son in CA, so that's settled. My parents currently lives with me, and although they are self sufficient (my Dad will be retiring in December) my mom does have some health issues. They will become snow birds after the wedding. (living in Jamaica in the winter and here in the summer). It'll be between myself and my two brothers that will have to take care of them, although I already know that it'll most likely fall on me as I'm the "daughter" and already sorta doing it. My Dad has said that wherever they are when their health takes a turn for the worse that's where they will stay(either here or in Jamaica).

My parents went through hell with my dad's parents when it came to elder care so they have savings set for their care when they are older. Same with my MIL. My husband's dad and stepmom might be more difficult.

My parents are planning on retiring down south and have talked to us about investing in our home so they could come back to the Philadelphia area during the summer. We'd have no problem with that.

We haven't had too much of a discussion, but I'm assuming it will come up in pre-cana. We haven;t talked about it with either of our parants either. I'm not super opposed to having any of the parents live with us, but it's a huge commitment and financial responsibility. FH and I each have a younger brother, so I think I'm more concerned with how we will share responsibility with our siblings rather than each other. I have seen so many sibling relationships ruined/strained because of this.

If my parents don't buy their own long term care policies (both are in their 60's so the premiums would be pretty high), I can't afford to insure them myself. That would be around 4k per month for my parents and his parents are also around 60.

I'm definitely going to buy LTCI for myself though.

I work rotate work in a long-term care facility and a rehab unit. I would choose to take care of my parents a thousand times over as long as I had the means both financially and medically to do so. My parents wouldn't do well in that environment. My FMIL, however, is super social and has commented on how she'd probably love the constant company of a LTC facility.

Sheesh. Well, not really. My Dad married someone (as his second wife) that's about 10 years younger, so I'm going to say she's the defaulted person to take care of him when he's old So, my step Mom covers that parent.

My Mom is SUPER independent, and will not give that up without a fight, so she will probably stay independent as long as possible. She'll then probably retire to FL, and I promised her that I'd get her a hot, male nurse to take care of her at her ocean front retirement home.

My FIL and MIL are both similar to my Mom. Super independent, and won't let go of anything that makes them that way without a big fight. My MIL will outlive my FIL, hands down, but they're already into their 60's.

I think if we cared for any of our relatives.. it'd be for my MIL later down the road.

I'm in financial services and I have to talk about retirement assets, social security, Medicare and Long Term Care all the time. My father is deceased and DH father is deseased as well too. We both have our mothers still with us. DH mother is on a very tight fixed income so I know we will help financially w supporting her when the time comes and my SIL will be the physical caregiver in the family for my MIL. My mother is pretty financially set- she has no LTC policy in place but if the time comes, she's got enough for that type of care for at least a couple years. If her money runs out- me and my sisters will pick up the rest. It's never been spoken but we saw that our parents and aunts and uncles do that w our grandparents so we will do the same.

I highly recommend everyone look in to life insurance and LTC now while they are still young because it is so much cheaper than what it will be when you are 10 years older.