Last name change

You can do whatever makes YOU happy.

Want to keep your name? Great!

Want to change? Great!

Want to move your name to you middle name and take husbands last name? Great!

There are no rules here. Do what works for you. For me keeping my maiden name wasn't an option. I'm so glad I changed it

I would do whatever makes YOU happiest. When I married, I kept my maiden for personal and professional reasons. When I asked my husband about it, he didn't care at all (and I truly believe that he doesn't care). I feel no less married, no less committed, no less of a family unit.

View Quoted Comment Exactly!
Men can change their surname when they marry a women. It doesn’t always have to be the woman, neither is it.
You also can both hyphenate

(Also children having different names to one of their parents is really common - it isn’t 1867 - and it happend then, and is very common in many parts of the world. There are lots of cultures where neither party changes their name)

Absolutely not!! I’m keeping mine and just adding his, non-hyphenated.

Just a suggestion: it's a Portuguese tradition to use change your name when you get married, but to keep your maiden name as a middle name and pass it on to your children.

So for example, if your name was Jane Smith and your husband's name is Jack White, after you get married, your new name would be Jane Smith White or Jane S. White. You can still keep your middle name if you have one. Then your children would be "First name Smith White." Its a great tradition when it comes to tracing your family lineage.

I honestly am 14 years in before the alter over mostly just this

i know he would be ok if I didn’t take his but I don’t think it is for me

im traditional in THAT one 100%

but I will regret losing my father’s name

even though im keeping it

View Quoted Comment

I LOVE this. I have a few friends that used their last name as their child's first name: Padon, (Mc)Kenzie, Carlylsle. I'm a sucker for family names.

Why not hyphen the two names? Martied-Maiden

View Quoted Comment I definitely appreciate this tradition more as an adult. It reminds you of your family ties and roots.

I'll be channg mine but what about hyphenating it?

I’m not legally changing mine, either. I have two kids from a previous marriage. I want to have the same last name as them. I’ll likely go by my new husbands name but it’s a pain in the ass to change anyway.

View Quoted Comment Do you plan on having kids or already do? Would you feel weird having a different last name from them? My MOH got a divorce and is thinking about changing her name back to her maiden but she doesn’t want to have a different name from her kids.

I am divorced and have kids in middle school and elementary school and I never changed my name before. I have never had one single issue with the kids having a different last name than mine (at school, medical related, etc.) so don’t let other people’s fears about this influence you. It’s very common.

That said FH really really wanted me to take his name so in the process of negotiation I agreed. I’m well settled in an executive career, have real estate, degrees etc and not looking forward to changing it all!

Nope not at all!! We both hyphenated because we both wanted to keep our last names but have the same name for future children. I know A lot of people move their last names to their middle name but I love My middle name too and I still Wanted to use my last name not just have it. But at the end of the day it’s your name your choice and your husband should accept that!!

I really REALLY struggled with this also because I’m very close with my Dad and I’m his only biological child. In the end I decided to take fh’s last name because I want to be a family unit with one last name when we have kids and because it means a lot to him. I am, however, dropping my middle name and keeping my maiden name as my middle name instead.

It's not bad at all!

I too have a deep connection with my last name so I am dropping my middle name which I have no connection to, and I am going to be using my maiden name as my middle name, and plan to always use both last names, without a hyphen 💜

It’s not bad at all. My moh is not changing her name. She had a courthouse wedding in July and her ceremony in Jan. but she’s already had backlash and her husband is very upset. She gets mad bc she is already getting mail addressed to her with his name. So just be ready.

My mom didn’t want to change her name, but my dad did. So legally she changed her name to First Maiden Married, but professionally and socially she only goes by her maiden name. If anyone asks for her using my dad’s name, they obviously don’t know her at all (awesome when telemarketers call, she says “that person doesn’t exist”, lol). She does not consider it a middle name though and if she has to use her legal last name (my dad’s), she writes all three.

Definitely keep your last name in some way, whether it is hyphenating, making it your middle name, or staying with it overall. Maybe you can also see if your FH would also be willing to hyphenate it as well, so you can both have the same last name?