Last name

I'm dropping my last name but that's because of something my cousin said to me. My last name is my mother's married last name and not my father's so why should I keep a name that has no real connection to me. When my cousin said this to me I couldn't think of any reason for keeping the last name.

My sister hyphenated her last name even though it is the same situation as mine. I'm not sure of her reasoning behind that but it was her decision.

You need your own reason for your decision. You have to decide what is best for you.

@MataDC. I chose to legally have DHs name so our children would have the same name. DH offered to take my name. I declined. My parents are divorced and I grew up in X household with Y's last name. I don't feel familial connections with my maiden name. So keeping it for family didn't make sense to me.

I didn't want us to have a combined last name because that kind of makes it a little tougher on our future kids.

For example a friend married a man with a hyphenated birth name. That deterred her from hyphenating her married and maiden names. I selected DHs I guess just out of convention at that point. I'm just excited to live in a home where everyone has the same last name.

Fun fact, DHs birth name was his mother's maiden name. It was changed to his fathers when his mother and father got married. So he really didn't care.

@ConstanceT. - interesting, thanks for sharing!

I'm taking his name, but will hyphenate for work.

Mine and FH last name is the same lol (weird) I know but that's how it is so I know I won't be struggling lol

I'm actually surprised after reading some comments that several didn't change their names. I thought of it as a traditional thing since everyone around me has changed it. I thought about it & decided to change mine. Just a personal choice. Felt a little weird seeing it on our marriage license but its ok.

I keep thinking about this and haven't made a decision. I mentioned that fact to my future MIL and she basically informed me I was changing my name. Not her choice. And while I love her all that did was make me feel like I was clinging harder to my name. FH doesn't care. He said it's my choice. He only asks that future children have his last name.

My last name is horrible! I have been waiting so long to change it so I am team change!

Keeping my name. Only reason I would ever change my name would be if we wanted to have children together.

As i have grown to love my (unusal last) name i didnt want to part with it (at 32 -- 10 yrs ago bye maiden). During the Initial conversation I told FH I wanted to hyphenate (as I knew he wanted me to take his name) but after talking to him and understanding WHY it was so important to him for me to have his last name-- I decided to move my maiden to a second middle. This way Im not 'dropping' my maiden but I'll still have his last.

Sidenote: during that conversation he did express it's ultimately my decision and he'll accept whatever I decide. So this finial decision was made strictly by me. I didnt even know moving the maiden name to a second middle was even an option before being on here. Thx WW for helping resolve this.

@MelissaHH if you're still around I would love that info as well.

He asked me to take his name, so I will.

I'm taking my FHs last name. I've never imagined it any other way honestly, and since his last name is already 13 letters long it would be ridiculous for me to use both last names. I've been practicing signing his last name since we first started dating over ten years ago lol

As much as I love my maiden name, I've always dreamt of taking my husbands last name, so I'll be doing that. Super excited too! It'll be 5 years coming!

The long and the short of it, I'm changing my name because my maiden name is difficult for people to pronounce and spell. I've wanted to get rid of my maiden name forever! Luckily FH has a simple last name that no one will have issues with! But once married, I'll just have to deal with the joke "so, are you related to Danny Devito?"

No. -_-

I don't have a middle name, so I'm just pushing my last name to the left and taking his. It was a good compromise!

Changing mine. I never considered not changing it. The only time was when i had a moment of "wow I'll no longer be Kristen O I'll be Kristen G" which was a little weird to me. But i don't have emotional attachment to my last name. So i don't care. Also hyphenating it isn't an option because we both have Long last names and F that.

FH has a different last name than his mom's and step dad's, he has his actual dad's last name. I asked him why, out of cusiosity, and he said he wanted the family name to continue on his dad's side. So to help with that (and to help my family's legacy continue), I'm hyphenating! My mom hyphenated her name, my sister dropped her maiden name, but I want to add another last mane to mine!

My FH and I happen to have the same very common last name, haha. So fortunately I don’t have to deal with name changes! But I would have taken his regardless, I’m not attached to mine.

I chose to take my husbands last name and drop my maiden, it was just easier than having two last names and being hyphenated plus he felt extremely honored that I took his and dropped mine. To see the smile on his face once I got it done was the icing on the cake and well worth it, plus I knew I wanted to change it to his anyways from the get go

You know, in all my time here, I've seen many women say, "It was important to him that I take his name, so I did." I have not seen one say, "It was important to me that he take my name, so he did."

Same goes for, "I have no attachment to my name, so I'll be changing it." I have very rarely seen a man say it. Yet in every single thread about names, I'll see multiple women saying it.

How about recognizing that if you have no right to tell him what his name is after marriage, he has no right to tell you what yours is?