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Devoted October 2012

KWR- FH doesn't want to move out

Private User, on April 6, 2012 at 10:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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So right now FH and I live with his parents because my parents moved away and I didn't have any where else to live. FH doesn't want to move to an apartment, he wants to buy a house. He thinks apartments are a waste of money. So we're getting married in October and I've told him I want to move out before the wedding but he wants to move out after. He wants to stay here for a few months after we get married. I've tried explaining that we will be here a lot longer if a few months after we get married we will try to find a house. He just doesn't get it. He's an only child, his Mom works from home and doesn't drive so her life revolves around him so I think he feels bad about moving out. I don't know what else to say to him to get him to understand why I want to move out before. We have the money to move out so its not a money issue. Does anyone have any ideas of what I can say to him to get him to move out? I just don't know what else to say to get him to move before.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Ab, on April 6, 2012 at 11:13 PM

Super October 2013
Tyler · on April 6, 2012 at 10:09 PM
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I would see if there is somewhere near his parents house so that he can stay close. This way he feels like he can be there for his family if they need him but you can still get out of the house. If there is a place then throw that idea on the table for him.
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Master October 2011
Mrs. S™ · on April 6, 2012 at 10:20 PM
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Did you talk about how long is "a few months"? Did you think about when you would like to start looking for a house?

I'm just curious, and please don't take this the wrong way, but how come he doesn't just have a need to move out? I love my parents dearly but couldn't wait to slam the door of my first little apartment.
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Devoted October 2012
Private User · on April 6, 2012 at 10:34 PM
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He kind of gives me vague answers when I ask him how long is a few months. Hes a big mama's boy and I've told him I think he doesn't want to move out and he said he does and he doesn't so I asked why and he told me "well who is gonna cook and do my laundry?" so I told him "I am!" that's his only reason he's given me so far.
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Master October 2011
Mrs. S™ · on April 6, 2012 at 10:41 PM
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I understand this is not what you originally asked, but it seems to me there's another issue here. That is, him growing up and learning how to live without his mom. I guess he never lived by himself?

Honestly, even if you move out some time soon, you will be facing many issues. Can you take over everything his mom does? Do you want to?
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Master October 2011
Ab · on April 6, 2012 at 11:13 PM
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Wow, that's going to be very awkward living at momma's house as newly weds..maybe try that card with him? lol. be sympathetic but firm..seriously, leaving his mom should be like a band-aid ripping off..it's going to be hard on both of them, but necessary..my DS changed entire countries to be with me, leaving his family behind, it was hard, but his mom knew it was coming and was accepting..are you guys still all going to be in the same city? maybe give him ideas about connecting with her, like having time for just them to go do something, or points where he will take her on errands, etc..Good luck!

Also, Mrs. S. brings up some good points.
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