Kind of Torn...

If she's family, let her come. It will prevent future drama and show that you can be the bigger person.

Thank you, I just dont want to make my parents unhappy either...just not sure what to do

Eeek, this situation stinks. But it sounds like she wasnt really considering your feelings when she was making those remarks. If you want to be as non confrontational as possible you could always go the email route. Say something to the effect of "I am sorry our plan to have you as a bridesmaid has not worked out, due to a tight (or finalized) budget/guest list, and having to fill your spot in the bridal party, we will not be able to hold an additional seat for you". There really is no nice way to say it. But at least your not telling her "it's not all about you". Good luck.

I don't think her behavior as a potential BM was stellar, so I understand not wanting her in your WP. However, it doesn't strike me as so bad that you wouldn't want her at the wedding.

I'm honestly not sure what your parents have to do with it? If you this relationship matters to you at all, and if you think it has the potential of being repaired, I wouldn't make a big deal out of her coming to the wedding. Are any of the other members of that family attending?

Mrs. S- Yes the rest of our family will be there...and My parents become involved because they are paying for the wedding and they really did not like the way she treated me and thier feelings are that if she wanted to quit on me she will just come to the wedding and critize everything and possibly cause a scene, my parents are very set on the idea that she isnt welcome. And my grandmother and even her mom agree that she was out of line. and my parents also say she made the choice and now she has to deal with it...just dont know if this is how it has to be or how to break it to her.

If it's an issue where your parents are paying for the wedding and they don't want her to come, then they can call/email her and tell her how THEY feel and why they aren't going to pay for her seat. I'm assuming they would be her aunt/uncle? So, as her aunt/uncle they can step up and tell her how they fell about her behavior.

I think since they are paying for the wedding, it is their event, and their descision for her to not be invited they should be the ones to tell her. If you are hesitant to "uninvite" her, maybe you should have a conversation with your mom, and explain if she feels that strongly about it than she should tell her. Or that you in fact do really want her to be part of the day. Family drama is so tough. As an outsider you never really get the full picture. But YOU know your family. You should go with your gut on this.

Thank you I have thought about asking them to do that, I guess my fear is she is just going to blow up- she is kind of like that (exactly why she was pushing me around... my fear of her temper) And the other bad part about all of this is we both work for the same company...forced to work with her everyday...I do appreciate all of the advice I really am just at a loss

I agree that if it comes down to being their decision, they need to let her know.

Thank you so much ladies. It is helpful to get other views of this situation, thank you

If she's your cousin AND you work with her every day, I would make an attempt to rectify the situation. Wedding is one day, but unless one of you changes jobs, you will interact with her on a daily basis for some time.

I understand everyone thinks she was out of line, but does that really mean she shouldn't be invited to the wedding? For most of us, there has been at least one person who was out of line during planning, but they were still invited. Keep in mind that whoever breaks the news, and however they do it, uninviting someone burns the bridges.

So the basic question is whether YOU are OK with burning that bridge, and working with her? It's not going to be fun.