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Esther
Just Said Yes November 2019

Just out of curiosity- seating assignments

Esther, on September 10, 2018 at 4:09 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 21

Hello ladies,

I have a question about seating arrangements. I have seen signs for a ceremony where they ask guest to pick a seat not a side but has anyone ever thought about not assigning seats at the reception and just having guest pick a seat?

what are your thoughts? I am just curious because I was reading through some blogs and one of these ladies were discussing ways to money savvy for your wedding. One of which included eliminating seating cards and also having guest sit where they wanted.

Smiley smile

21 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on October 24, 2018 at 2:29 PM
  • SB
    VIP March 2019
    SB ·
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    I'm the minority on this one, but we are not doing assigned tables or seating. I've been to weddings with the assigned and unassigned and the unassigned seating ALWAYS went smoother than the assigned. Cousin Bob doesn't want to sit with ex Aunt Dorothy or Bill got seated halfway across the venue from the rest of his family because of an exhausted mistake.. I'd rather let guests sit where they're comfortable rather than picking their seats/location for them.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I wouldn’t do this. People who didn’t come with a group will feel awkward finding where to sit, and groups of guests may get split up. If you’re having a small wedding (like under 50 people) it’d probably be fine, but more than that, it is beneficial for the guests to be told what table to sit at. Think of it from a guest's perspective... imagine showing up to the wedding with a group of say 10 people, and all the remaining tables have like 2-4 people at them. You can't sit with your group of people anymore.


    If people have issues with the seating chart then they can always move, I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. But I think it is good to have at least as a guideline. For me at least, I have a whole group of my friends from HS, FH has a whole group of his friends from college, and we have various groups of family friends, cousins, etc. who we want to make sure get a table with the people they know and don't spend time wandering around looking for a seat. I would find it very overwhelming as a guest to not be told at least what table to sit at.

    You know your guests, theoretically you should know who they'd like to sit with!

    I don’t think this should be a huge money issue, FH and I bought 150 place cards and 20 table numbers for $25 total at Michaels!

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  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
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    Every wedding I have been to that did not have some kind of seating chart had issues.

    my husband had to sit at the kids table because no one knew one table up front was for family and no one sat there all night.

    Other times we've sat at half full tables while people took chairs to other tables.

    Our seating chart for just table assignments took 20 minutes.

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  • Maggie
    Champion October 2025
    Maggie ·
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    Hey there Esther!!! The last wedding I attend didn't have any assigned seating at the reception. It was nice because I got to sit with all of the people I knew and got that little thrill of choosing a good spot. But I can understand why people don't necessarily like it. It makes things a little messy, and while in theory, there's always supposed to be so many people at a table, guests drag chairs from one table to sit with their friends at another table.

    If you want to do that at your wedding, go for it, have a blast! If you want everyone to have an assigned seat, go for it, have a blast!

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  • IslandBride88
    Devoted November 2018
    IslandBride88 ·
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    We aren't doing assigned seats, but assigned tables. This way people don't get separated from those they know and so forth.


    Also the seating is more for the meal. Most of my guests will probably move around and be dancing ( I hope)!

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  • FutureMrsR
    Dedicated October 2018
    FutureMrsR ·
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    My experience with unassigned tables at a wedding have all been a little negative. At one of them, people would pull chairs from other tables so they could all sit at the same table so it ended up where 5 tables had like 15 people, crammed together, and 5 completely or almost empty tables. At a different wedding the bridal party was outside taking pictures for a long time so when they got back inside and tried to find a table where they could all sit, they couldn't. One BM threw a big fit about not having enough space for her whole family to sit at the same table so other people who were already seated had to do a bunch of shuffling so they could all sit at the same table. I think it's just a headache and can be avoided by assigning people tables. It doesn't have to be expensive. Print your own escort cards.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'm NOT a fan of unassigned reception seats. It's super awkward. Especially for guests that don't know anyone (work friends, friends from college, etc.) so they just have to sit down with people they don't know. It's also weird for big groups (sides of your family, etc.) because they have to ask people to scoot down/move to families can sit together and don't know how to split each other up or what two tables to choose. I think the seating chart can set the stage for how fun or not fun the reception will be. An alternative is assigning tables, not specific seats.

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    I don’t see how this would really be a money saver. You could easily make escort cards at home for the cost of paper and spend less than $5.

    most weddings have some sort of seating arrangement because the alternative rarely goes well. I went to one wedding that had open seating except for the bridal party and their dates at a head table. The only people I knew at the wedding were the bride and groom, and the members of the bridal party. I didn’t have a date, so was VERY much alone and miserable. I traveled for the wedding and the second I stepped into the reception room my heart sank and I was filled with regret for traveling all that was to have dinner with random strangers. Open seating = high school cafeteria flash backs. That moment you get to lunch late and your friends’ table is already full.
    You end up with people moving chairs (and messing with place settings), or people leaving too many open seats to not split groups, and requiring additional tables. There are so many anxiety inducing scenarios, and it’s an easy way to end up with someone’s feelings getting hurt.
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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    I didn't have assigned seating at our wedding and it was no problem. But I had a cocktail style reception with no dinner service (food was served continuously), four top tables, and only 50 guests. If I had a dinner service and more guests I would have done a seating chart, even though people tend to move after dinner. As others said, it shouldn't cost much to do. You could also not make individual cards and just have a list - if there's someone to be host/ess guests could check with that person or you could just put a list in a frame. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
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  • Esther
    Just Said Yes November 2019
    Esther ·
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    This is certainly interesting to me since I've never experienced a wedding without assigned seating. For me, I think I would have assigned tabled but not assigned seating. Although, I feel like both of our families and friends would be just fine if we didn't assign them a seat it would stress me out seeing people not finding a place to sit or not being able to sit with the people they know. I do however like the fact that it would be fun to mix everyone and have people meet.. I mean we all will be family from that day forward.

    Anyways, I was just curious to know what you ladies thought Smiley smile

    Thanks for sharing!

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  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
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    I prefer seating assignments at weddings.Escort cards really aren't that expensive so I wouldn't even think of that as a valuable money saving tip.I'd rather spend the couple bucks to have assigned tables. People can't always be trusted to behave like adults and just sit!
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  • April
    Super November 2018
    April ·
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    I think for a smaller wedding where you are doing long tables instead of round, no seating assignments can work. When it gets a little bigger or if you do round tables, I would always suggest at least assigning a table. Otherwise things could get uneven and maybe a group or couple could end up getting split up. I am having a very small wedding and my dinner will be 35 people (including us) so I will have my BM's mark a spot at center for me and my Fiance (he will be my husband then Smiley smile ) and then everyone else can sit where ever.

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  • Kat
    Expert September 2019
    Kat ·
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    I've been to weddings with assigned and unassigned seating. I think they're both fine, whatever you do. The one where there wasn't assigned seats I liked more because my family could all sit together. No one really felt left out and the tables seemed to fill out nicely. I do like the assigned table idea instead of assigned seats. With assigned seats I felt confined to my table in a way. You know your family/guests, so you do what you feel is best. We're still debating on what we're going to do. Luckily we have a lot of time haha
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  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
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    I think it depends on your guests. Both me and my FH have divorced parents and a lot of loud personalities, so a seating chart is a MUST. But I know people who’ve done just reserved tables for the wedding party and family.
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  • BB-H
    VIP September 2018
    BB-H ·
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    We're at least assigning tables. Our venue is too small to allow people to just spread out however. That way everyone at least has a seat without having to worry about being split up. I'm not a huge fan of unassigned seating. If I don't want to leave my purse at a place setting, I might not have the seat when I get back.

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  • BrandiWeds18
    VIP May 2019
    BrandiWeds18 ·
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    Table assignments are mandatory for me. I don't want any of my families or couples to be split up or are not sure where to sit if they come in at the last minute. Or there is only one seat left as each table.

    Some people such as myself will have to do escort cards because i am offering a plated meal and i need to tell the serving staff who ordered what. However, this doesn't mean i have to assign them a seat at a particular table (even though i might do this). But they will need an escort card to take to the table they are assigned at the least. I don't like disarray and this is a way to prevent that, for me.

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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    You can buy 160 tent cards for $12.00 and print them at home. IMO, that’s not enough savings to warrant the awkwardness of not at least assigning tables.

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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    You definitely wouldn't be saving money by not assigning seats. People don't separate evenly on their own so you would need a couple of extra tables to ensure groups coming in last don't get separated. Extra tables, chairs, centrepieces etc will be way more expensive than some tent cards to do table assignments
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  • Brooke
    Savvy September 2018
    Brooke ·
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    We are having guests sit wherever they want. I was planning on doing seating assignments but I know someone is bound to add a plus 1 we didn't know about and then the whole thing will be off. Smiley smile To be safe we did add two extra tables to accommodate people leaving one or two chairs between people they don't know.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    Exactly this.

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