I want to jab my FMIL with a fork!!!! ahh!!!

I/we planned our wedding on our own.... I didn't want to have to deal with my MIL or my own mother for that matter, giving me grief about how we wanted our wedding....

FMIL mentioned a few times that she didn't feel like she was doing anything for the wedding and I would always reply, don't worry, just sit back and enjoy the day....

She is off her rocker if she thinks that you should throw a second reception.... that is their problem if they can't arrange to attend the one reception that you and FH are hosting!!

I think you should go about planning in whatever way makes you happy. you could invite her along on different things and let her participation (of lack thereof) be her choice). for example, "i'm going to look for invitations/flowers/favors/whatever, on this date and time, would you care to join me?". this way you're taking the lead and she can choose to share that time with you or not. her decision. either way, you're doing what makes you happy.

she may just feel that this is your occasion and doesn't think she should be involved. you could let her know that her involvement is important to you (if it is), or just let it be. it doesn't sound like she's that involved with your lives so if you want her to be more involved, then you might as well have a talk about it. but if you don't want her to be, then don't ask her to throw a party for you!

it sucks that she isn't more involved, but that can be a double edged sword. too involved is no good either! too bad we can't choose our in-laws

I'm sorry I don't have any advice but please know that I literally LOLed at work at this: "'b please! does money come out of my a$$"

I wish you luck and patience!

Oh we have engaged her on being more involved in our lives...literally her response was "i've been a mom. I'm married now and just want to enjoy being married." (she resents her son b/c she was 18 when she had him. so she missd out a lot.) . Well I asked my fh's aunt to help out and she's been awesome...sometimes I wish she was going to be my mil. Also, myFMIL has stated already how she won't even babysit when that comes around...it was a drastic moment that i just wanted to flip a table.

Im planning the way I want and i've already told her that there will not be an additional reception. 1 is more than enough and we understand that people won't be able to attend on both sides of the family.

Haha @Samantha - i know right!!! Seriously that's how I would talk to her.....and then i'd be like at "what!? Come at me" (face palm to her face)

I think she needs to get off her high horse -- sorry lady but its not his fault you got knocked up at 18!!!!

I haven't even read your post yet, but i just wanted to say that your title cracked me up- thank you for saying what we have all wanted to say at some point!!!!

Ok now I have read! I would honestly leave her out of planning for a while, to kind of show your point that you are running this show and paying for it, so when it comes down to it, a lot of "requests" cannot be met. She will get the point.

And that was kind of blunt, sorry!

Jab her with a fork though?!! LMAO!! Too funny!

Haha. not blunt at all. Blunt would be me saying to her...If you want a say, stop trying to coupon my wedding and come up with the money.

She has even been pushing for the rehearsal dinner outside of the venue, so she can use some coupons. Seriously!

I am so sick of her taking her shit out on my FH, I'll tell you right now that once I'm married...I will let her have it.

AND NOTE, I am not surprised at her behavior. I've been in IL for two yrs and I've seen her all but 4times(2x a yr) and she lives 20mins away from us....I've seen my mother more and she lives 800miles away.

And yeah the second reception came up when she and i briefly talked....

She pretty much told me most if not all of her family will not go to Md for a wedding (a wedding!!! A WEDDING!!! This isn't just a wedding! Your son, your nephew, your godson, your brother, your cousin, your grandson is getting married) We know there's going to be people who can't make it and that's ok. She suggested the idea and I told her, if that's something she wants to do that's fine but our money and efforts are going into the wedding and reception. I even suggested she host it if she wants one and she said, "no, i think i'd rather help out. I assume you could host it, since you have that nice new apt and clubhouse. I could bring a dish and then you could cater in food and drinks." I just wanted to say "b, I could bring my hand up and come across your face for your selfishness."

I really don't hate her or like her...it's more of tolerate her but i show respect to some degree.

Honestly be happy she isnt involved. The more hands and money in the pot, the harder it is. My mom was kinda the same way in feeling like there wasn't stuff for her to do, but we planned it all and invited them to things when there was stuff to do! There's only so much you can do but throwing out an invite every now and then is enough. She clearly doesnt want to be involved, so let her be but be honest with her too when she throws out ridiculous ideas like throw a second reception. Um no. That is stupid. I wouldnt put her in charge of anything either- especially a shower. But then again, a shower is something people should volunteer for, not be asked to throw.

Ouuuu wow, sounds like we are both in the same boat >

OOOh talk to me Joni!