We're having the wedding in her home state, because all her friends and family are there, while mine are basically scattered and would have to travel no matter where we have it. It makes the most sense. Like most brides, she found the guest list stressful, but we managed to come up with one. I, on the other hand, am realizing now, after we already sent out the save-the-dates, that perhaps I didn't put as much thought into my guest list as I should have. Or maybe I would've still picked the same people if I'd given it more thought, or maybe I just wouldn't have bothered to invite any of my friends. But basically, if they're smart, they'll decline, but if they do decide to come, my wedding will probably suck for them.
Reasons it will suck for my guests:
1. They'll have to fly across two time zones, and likely take a day off work and spend two nights in a hotel. And the location is not exactly on most people's bucket lists.
2. We're not allowing kids, so they'll have to either find a babysitter, or leave the spouse at home to take care of the kids.
3. There will be 45 guests at max, and probably a lot less, since I expect many to decline for the first two reasons. I picked a small handful of old friends from different stages of my life, most of whom don't know each other. So they might not know anyone else at the wedding besides me. (Pretty much none of them have ever even met my fiancee.)
4. There will be no dancing, and we don't have much other form of entertainment planned, other than just dinner, cake, and background music.
5. The fact that I invited them when I haven't seen them in years might give them the impression that it's going to be an epic reunion of our old groups of friends. They'll be disappointed when they get there and see the less than 45 people, none of whom they've ever seen before in their life.
Like I said, the save-the-dates have already gone out, but the official invitations have not. Any suggestions on how I can let my guests have realistic expectations and make well-informed decisions when they fill out their RSVPs? Sure, I'll be disappointed if none of my friends show up, but I'd rather have that than to have my guests leave thinking, "I traveled over 2000 miles just for THAT?!?!".
