How honest to be next week when seeing daughter's dress?

Pop be honest but kind for example

I understand what you met by too low but you don't want it too high
You know the neckline being that high you can use pearls as a necklace and look classy
What if she wore a corset for the extra support? The cups she will have to get used too

I would be completely honest. It sounds like she trusts your input and wants the truth from you. I think just about any issue she has with the dress should be able to be fixed or adjusted somehow. Good luck!

Be honest and take your cues from her past comments. Pointy-boobs, low cut, smoothness on body etc.

If you remove the cups from inside the dress, she should really consider some other type of bra. A long bra for example can provide the same amount of support as sewn-in cups. Read her face, if she's quiet and thinking, let her think through her feelings, then prompt for some feedback. She seems to really respect your opinion. So be honest about the DRESS, not her body IN the dress.

I would be completely honest. I went to my fitting last night and when I put my dress on even with the pads that were added the top looked horrible. The seamstress tried to first put a second set of padding in it but it didn't work. She then took the padding out completely and added the padding to the inside of my strapless bra (I wasn't wearing one originally) which seemed to help more than the other option but still not right. She had me take my dress off and took it in a 1/2" around the very top of the dress. That with the strapless bra having the pads sewn in it changed the whole top completely with the way it fit. I left the appointment feeling confident and my dress fits perfect now.

Be honest. Use a compliment sandwich to ease into it:

Compliment (“the skirt looks amazing on you!”)
Critique - aim this toward the alterations person (“I see that the bust isn’t very smooth. What can you do to fix this?”)
Compliment - back to your daughter (“I see your vision coming to life! I like the changes made so far and it will be perfect when everything is done. You look amazing already.”) Maybe throw in a “I’ve seen some alterations miracles on WW” 😆

I say be completely honest. I wouldn't buy without Facetiming my mom so I would expect her total honesty. It sounds as though your daughter is expecting the same. She will have 2 months from her next fitting so they should be able to make changes. Worst case, she can go to a new alterations person with better recommendations to get the changes needed.

Also, from experience with a very blunt mother and older sister, it’s the absolute best to have an honest opinion in these moments. You don’t want someone to tell you that you look good when you don’t. It’s like on WW, most of us are honest in our opinions because we want the best for others.

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Yes, good reminder! Really good on directing the critique to the alteration person. Alteration person did come highly recommended.

OK, all these suggestions are helping. I think daughter should go to next fitting with a couple of bra/corset options in hand, to try things out.

Follow-up question: Is it normal for every change in the alterations to cost more? I suppose, but just checking.

View Quoted Comment I guess it depends on where the alterations are done, but I think most places have a flat fee for basic alterations (taking in/out, hem, bustle, maybe adding cups) and may have other fees for extra work like adding extra fabric, sleeves, reworking the dress’ structure, etc.

I would be completely honest. Your daughter probably has so much on her mind she can’t think she needs her Moms opinion. If you don’t think it looks right say something so the seamstress can do what she has to, to fix it. Good luck!

As a mom, this one is so hard. I think Catti's approach is on the money about turning all the potential "constructive feedback" back to the alteration's person! Also, based on reading posts for the last 6 months, I think it is very typical for an earlier fitting appointment to not go well. Be prepared for the alterations person to have possibly done some fine tuning that makes things better. Are the alterations being done in a bridal shop where they will potentially have options for different undergarments or at a stand alone alterations place? If at the latter, you might want to do some shopping first (leaving the tags on) so she has different bra options to try under the dress. And, obviously, follow your daughter's lead regarding how she's feeling and what she needs in the moment. One thing that helped us in the earlier stages of dress shopping is that D and I had detailed talks about what she was looking for, what she didn't think she wanted, and what her expectations were about the process (e.g., not making a snap decision, etc.). I ran my thoughts through those filters when she asked for my input later, so whenever possible I put my feedback against what she had already outlined as parameters. When a DB consultant was trying to talk her into saying "yes" to a dress I thought she might later regret, I just said, "you said you didn't want to make a decision today. Are you okay with changing your mind on that?" She agreed she didn't want to make the decision, and we left. (She found the perfect dress elsewhere, a week later. Whew! )

I feel ya, MOB. Hang tough! Parenthood isn't for the fainthearted. Enjoy the experience no matter what!

You already know this, but your big job is to help her problem solve until she has what she wants. Many yrs ago when my sister's wedding dress came in just weeks before her wedding with weird, noticeable flaws in the skirt fabric, she about went over the edge. But, our mom just stepped into and said, "apparently it wasn't the 'right dress' after all. We just need to go back out and find the right one!" I'm not sure what miracles my mom pulled off, but my sister got married in a dress she loved. You'll work your "magic," too!

If there is nothing you can do to fix the dress and buying a new dress is not an option I wouldn't be harsh.

Sandwich your remarks, something nice, criticism, and then something nice. Always ask what she thinks first, if you have a comment about the dresses structure address the seamstress.

Definitely be honest. You know how best to come with your daughter.

I would want my mom to be completely honest, but like others said, about the dress, not that if I had lost 5 pounds it would fit better (not saying you would do that, just using it as an example) it's seriously amazing what the smallest changes can do. A seamstress adjusted the straps on a bridesmaid dress I wore, maybe changed them an 1/8th of an inch, if that, and I was in shock at how much it changed the dress to work better with my boobs. If they're an experienced seamstress then they'll know what to do, if not maybe cut her losses with that one and find one that can help with the problems she's having. Good luck to you and your daughter!

Honesty is the best policy! I hope everything works out for her.

Have fun with your daughter

Be honest but not mean. Compliment sandwiches go a long way.

PP nailed it, I just wanted to add that I had pointy boob syndrome with my dress as well and the seamstress removed some of the boning in the chest which totally solved the issue, just a suggestion!

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Thank you, Ashley! That sounds very helpful.