Help! Debate between fiancé and mother!

Who is paying for the wedding? If you and your fiance are paying, book whatever venue you like. Your mom will get over it. If your mom is paying, she gets a say where her money goes so maybe look at a few more then discuss which will be the best option.

Again, who is paying for the wedding? Many parents' gifts come with a lot of strings. There is often an expectation that they will have a say in the decision making.

If the two of you are paying, wedding planning is a good time to make the shift from pleasing your Mom to pleasing the two of you.

If you two are footing the bill, your mom should really have no say in the matter. Even if she was helping pay for it, if you both love the venue she should respect that also.

What doesn’t your mother like about it?

How do you feel about the venue? Is it what you want? The venue is only the start of all of the decisions. If your mother is contributing any money I suggest having that money go to specific things that won't require a difficult decision. A venue is very important as it dictates how the rest of the evening goes. I would ask your mom what her issues are with the venue and see if you can come to a compromise. Only do this if you are completely sold on it yourself.

My fiancée wants to pay for it so that my mom can’t have an opinion on it, but my mom wants to pay because it’s tradition that the mother of the bride pays. So I’m not sure who’s paying!

If it speaks to your heart and fits your vision of your wedding, I would have a talk with your mother about why it's so important to you. From your post, I didn't get that feeling. Do you like it like oh it's nice, or is this a must have for you?

View Quoted Comment The tradition of the bride’s side paying is a little outdated at this point. If you want her to foot the bill, be prepared to let her call the shots.

You guys should figure out who is paying before booking anything at al. We’re footing the bill and the best part is we don’t have to heed to anyone’s opinions.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this.

Hi Jillian! Like Tiffany said, if you like this venue, then go for it. It doesn't matter who's "side" you take because honestly there's no sides. It's where you and your fiancé can envision yourselves getting married on your big day. Have you considered having a heart-to-heart about this venue choice with both of them?

If you and your FI want something for your wedding, and your mother disagrees, your mother shouldn't have an input. She already had her wedding.

Your mother is not a third partner in your marriage. Decl8ne her offer to pay for the venue and go with the one you can see yourself getting married at. Your fiancé’s opinions should carry far more weight than your mother’s.

If you’re really in love with this venue, I’d politely turn down Mom’s money and pay for it yourselves. Money from others always comes with strings.

Thanks everyone! I moved to a different city where my fiancé lives and she’s been upset about that for years. She doesn’t like the venue because it’s not in my hometown where my family is. But you’re right, my fiancé and I really like it and it’s rjght for us!

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Good call!! Time for Mom to let go......

Good luck!

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So you booked this venue? Or am I misunderstanding, Jillian? What's it like?

It's good that you booked the venue that you like. Your fiance's opinion matters most, you're marrying him, and not anyone else. Your mom will need to get over it, and I am so happy for you guys! Congrats!!!