Guest lists at capacity and more

I think you need to do whatever you feel is the right thing to do. We are having a very small wedding. I've had to nicely tell some friends and family (out of state) that they won't be able to come to the ceremony. It wasn't easy but they are really more aquaintances then close friends but maybe you can explain the situation to her and she will be understanding

Follow up question - would it be rude to rent a tent and have a group outside with the patio doors open so that they are just a few feet away from everyone. I would not want anyone to feel slighted.

The fact that I'm concerned makes me think it's definitely rude. But there will be several teenage cousins who might appreciate a little more space but still be under the watchful eyes of their parents.

Are you prepared to tell everyone who asks to come even though they aren't invited? You didn't originally invite them for a reason and that reason is space. You are already in a bad situation with not everyone being able to eat at once. Don't compound the issue by having yet more guests attend.

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At this point, everyone eats at the same time. We won't go beyond that.

I think you need to let her know that you don't have space and leave it at that. I didn't invite cousins because I have way way way too many. We have enough space in our venue for everyone we invited but that's it. We will not waiver on this at all.

That’s such a tough one. Where you only not inviting her because of the distance? Or also because you aren’t as close. You have to go with what you want in your heart. I’m totally that person that keeps wanting to add people.

I have always thought it was so weird when people like reached out to ask about wedding dates and if they are invited hahaha. like it makes it so awkward. i had a co worker who was like a work friend- we never socialized outside of work really- say "I better be invited to the wedding!!" when i first got engaged. and it caught me too off guard. Like its so awkward to have to tell people sorry but you're not invited, however i feel like if they are going to try and invite themselves and say like "when is it so i can book it off " before they are even invited i think its totally fine to tell them you're at your max capacity.

View Quoted Comment I think three idea of having the teenage kids in "their" space is good, I'm putting all of them in their own table. I think you should do what feels right to you, as for inviting your cousin. Are you both pretty close?

We are inviting only like, two or three cousins to be honest. I feel like if that cousin didn't make the cut on the original invite list then you should just politely explain the logistical nightmare that's going on and that your venue can only accommodate x amount of people so you have to keep it super small. Hopefully they will understand!

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We are not crazy close because of the distance. We used to spend a week each summer on vacation together. My mother and sister adore this cousin and have visited her when I was unable to do so. We talk occasionally by phone but truly stay more connected on FB.

I just didn't see her wanting to come because of the distance, etc. It's so hard to tell people n except for my coworkers. I can tell them no with absolutely no problem.

I think if you're concerned, you already know the answer.

As a guest (even a teen) I wouldn't want to feel separate from the rest of the party or like I wasn't good enough to sit inside with everyone else.

If your guest list is already set in stone I'd leave it as is and politely tell them that you are having a smaller wedding and cannot accommodate everyone you'd like to.

Personally, I am very close to my first cousins and invited every one of them (and 21 of 22 are attending). I can tell you want to invite this cousin and would have but didn't want to pressure her to come because of the distance. I would invite her + family and just work them in. I like the teenagers in the tent idea and you probably will have a few no RSVPs.

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I would be put off if someone told me I was a tent guest while everyone else was inside. I don't know how you'd even tell people that without coming off as rude.

I would let her know that you are happy that she is excited about your upcoming nuptials, but when creating the guest list you did not include her because you didn’t want to inconvenience her due to how expensive travel is. You can segway this into we already finalized the guest list to our maximum capacity and explain the situation. I, as a guest, would understand this more than being an obvious add on.

I would do your best to seat everyone in one place. Some inside and some on the patio seems very separate, even if it's close by. Everyone wants to be in the same room at a wedding I would think.

Are all your RSVP's in ? Do you have an exact count, right now?

If not, I would not be concerned about 1 or 2 more people being invited. You are going to have people decline. If you would really like to invite her, you should.