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Devoted May 2018

Getting concerned

Kaitlin, on February 27, 2018 at 8:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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I’m finishing up addressing our invitations to send them out in the few weeks and as I’m talking to FH he wants to address everything as to “The smith family”. I told him we can’t do that with people with children as we’re not inviting children and it would send the wrong message. He starts telling me that his family will just bring their kids no matter what. Now, I already have my rsvp’s done and ready to be stuffed in the envelopes once they’re addressed and only have a spot for “___ number attending”. I really didn’t think I would have to put that “there are __ number of seats reserved for you” as I thought addressing them appropriately would be fine. I didn’t think FH’s family would be rude enough to just do what they pleased, but apparently he thinks they will. I don’t really want to message or call people and tell them their kids aren’t invited if they end up RSVP’ing for them as well. Anyone have a similar experience? What would be the best course of action if this happens?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by muriel, on February 27, 2018 at 9:05 PM

VIP June 2018
PrincessLawrence · on February 27, 2018 at 8:31 PM
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I have not sent yet. Anyone where the whole family is invited as I have a few kids coming for different reasons it will say "the jones family" and those shoes kids are not says "mr and mrs. James smith"
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Super October 2018
MaltedMilk · on February 27, 2018 at 8:31 PM
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Are the kids invited? If not, address the invite to the parents. Please be prepared to call the people who are going to bring their kids if they are not invited. It is rude to do so and if they are not invited there will be no food or seat for them.
"We are sorry for the misunderstanding, the invite was for you and James."
If they are mad they can decline. It is an invite not a summons.
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Dedicated May 2018
Nicole · on February 27, 2018 at 8:32 PM
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You and fiance need to get on the same page. If people rsvp for their kids and your invite is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," you or he need to call them and let them know the invite was only for them, as it was addressed.
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Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on February 27, 2018 at 8:32 PM
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If you don't want the kids there, the only course of action is to call and tell them so if they include them on the RSVP. Or, you sit in silence and let the kids come to your wedding. Can you afford to allow them to attend? Per plate costs add up fast.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on February 27, 2018 at 8:32 PM
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You could partially fill in the line “___ number attending”
If you are inviting 2 people it would say " ____of 2 attending".
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Devoted May 2018
Kaitlin · on February 27, 2018 at 8:47 PM
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Thanks ladies. I guess I’m just frustrated at this point, because we both agreed beforehand we weren’t inviting kids. If he would have told me a long time ago that he thought his family would this I would have just reworded the RSVP’s. I already plan on addressing the ones who have kids to just “Mr. and Mr. Smith”. I’m hoping they just get the hint and aren’t going to do what FH says they will.
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Devoted May 2018
Kaitlin · on February 27, 2018 at 8:48 PM
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We could afford to have the kids there, but really that isn’t the point. We don’t want them there.
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Devoted May 2018
Kaitlin · on February 27, 2018 at 8:49 PM
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I already told FH that it won’t hurt my feelings one bit if they decline just because they can’t bring the kids. I haven’t met 99% of these people, so I’m not worried about it. It’s our wedding and we don’t want the kids there so if that’s too much for them then they can decline all they want.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on February 27, 2018 at 9:05 PM
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Just have a response prepared if people add their kids. "I'm sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding. The invitation was for __ and ___. We are unable to accommodate the children. If that means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding."
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