Coworkers?

Where is how I worked in co-workers. If I hung out with you OUTSIDE of work events, you got an invite. I feel like those I never got to know outside of work just didn't warrant an invite.

I'm not inviting any co-workers. I work remotely, so it was an easy choice for me.

However, FH works in a small office (about 10 employees) and is close with 4 of them (one being his boss). We're inviting those 4 and their wives. Luckily, FH has an employee directory with everyone's home addresses so we were in luck there!

That is a difficult one and I haven't decided yet and may not til near invitation time. I know my FH is definitely inviting his boss and the boss's wife and kids and another higher up in the company that he is close to. And that's it. I have a few people at work I am close to, but just need to decide if I am $46 a plate close to. Lol

Ultimately it's your wedding and you invite who you want! You could always send them an email or text for their addresses instead of out in the open so it's more private.

I am inviting one and her significant other. We became quick friends and do things outside of work all the time. Including a trip to boston, just her and I. Other than that, nope. I don't think I would keep in contact with any of the rest of them, if I were to leave my current job, and yes their presence would make me a bit self conscious of my behavior at my wedding. My fh is not inviting any, even the one he lived with for a while.

I think my situation is a little different, in the fact that other coworkers would be surprised if I invited them, or if I didnt invite the one that I'm close to, so no one other than her is expecting it. Personally, I think it's okay to invite some and not all, but if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then just do all if not inviting the few makes you sad.

As far as collecting addresses, I would just hand them out at work if you're planning on inviting all of them.

View Quoted Comment The thing is (I suppose I should’ve mentioned) they are all much older than me. I’m 22, and my boss is 65, the coworker I’m really close with is 46, and the others range from 32-50. So I don’t really hang out with any of them outside of work but mostly because they all are busy with their spouses and kids lol, and we’re all such different age groups. So idk maybe that means I just shouldn’t invite them? But I feel like it is a different kind of closeness

View Quoted Comment Yeah your situation sounds a little different because you are noticeably closer with one than the others. The thing is with my job, the one coworker I am closer to than the rest, I am not sure the others realize that? I have known that one coworker longer than the rest but I see them all equally now so I don’t know that they realize I’m mentally “closer” with him than the rest, and I do think some of them may be hurt if I invited him and not the rest, and I think it would put him in an awkward situation too.

I wish I could hand them out at work, I’ve thought about that actually, but there are actually other people in our office. It’s a confusing office dynamic lol, my team is basically these 6 people and the rest of our physical office space is the same company, but everyone else works for a different division. So the other people in the office I am friendly with and see every day, but I don’t actually do any work with them. I don’t think any of them would be offended if they found out I invited just those 6 because it would be obvious I had to limit it to just my team, but I do think they may be offended if I physically handed them out in the office

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If you feel it will cause weirdness, I wouldn't invite of of them.

But I understand you. If you feel closer to some then others, there is nothing wrong with just inviting them.

View Quoted Comment I feel like it will cause weirdness inviting certain coworkers. And I feel like it will cause weirdness NOT inviting other certain coworkers. And I feel like it will cause the most weirdness inviting some and not others. 😂 All of that contradicts hahaha, I can’t win!

We have a small office, with 3 full time employees including me. We have a part time receptionist, and a contracted mapper. I'm inviting the 2 other employees & receptionist, but not the mapper. He doesn't go to company events, doesn't know my fiance, and I know NOTHING about his personal life. It's not the same for the other 3 people.

I invited 2, and it's 2 women who I'm close with. I doubt either will come, but I wanted to invite them because we're good friends.

I can see how this is such a difficult decision for you. I'm not inviting any of my co-workers. There are only 11 of us in the entire building, but I don't hang out with any of them outside of work. I think i'd lean more towards inviting the 2 you feel closest to. Ask them for their address, etc. in private. If your other coworkers say something, just explain that as much as you wish you could have invited everyone, it just wasn't within your means.

I have also gone back and forth on this decision. I'm a legal secretary, supporting several attorneys in a mid-sized firm. There are two partners and two fellow secretaries who I am very close with, and I really want to invite them. The two secretaries and I do see each other outside of work, so that's no big deal. My dilemma was that there was another secretary who I cannot stand!! She's a busy-body, always inserting herself into people's work, their lives, etc. We do what we can to tolerate her at the office, but I will NOT have her at my wedding, even if it offends people.

Because I couldn't figure out how to get around this, I went to one of my partners, and privately asked her advice. She's cool enough that I could explain my dilemma without naming names, and just saying that I wanted to invite some coworkers but not others, but also didn't want to offend anyone.

She suggested that I have a private talk with the few remaining people I want to invite, explaining the situation, and asking them to keep it on the down low. Then publicly, when anyone at work asks about the wedding, or "suggests" that they'll be getting an invitation (which they won't), I respond that we are having a very small affair due to a small budget, and that it will be mostly family (that's mostly true, btw).

Even though I feel a little bad about not being 100% truthful about my guest list, it's a lot better than dealing with the drama I would have if: 1. the other coworkers found out; and/or 2. I actually invited people I can't stand simply because I work with them.

So far it's working. It's not the ideal solution, but you have to do what is best for you and FH. I wish I could just be honest, but I also have to work there everyday. This will save me a lot of grief going forward.

So, all this is to ask, can you just tell your 2 people "hey can you keep this quiet?"

I invited four coworkers. One I knew before working with her. I was her kids daycare teacher and I babysat for them for a few years to earn extra money. The next coworker is my team teacher and we are the only two third grade teachers. I have hung out with her outside of work once and we talk about pretty much everything on our off time. The other coworker I have hung out with outside of work several times. The last coworker I invited because she was the first teacher I met at my school and we were both new teachers. I think she is great and even though we do not see each other on a regular basis outside of work I did not have any reservations about inviting her. Even though the rest of my coworkers are aware I am getting married I just Do not know them well enough to invite them. I dont Think it will cause an issue.

I also work in a close knit team of 6, so I knew inviting one person meant inviting 10 additional people (guests for all 5). We’re all friendly and often go out to lunch and happy hour together, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends outside of work (with the exception of one girl, FH and I sometimes get together with her and her husband). I definitely could have skipped inviting them all - but in the end, I decided I really wanted them there. They’ve all been so supportive and excited to hear about the wedding and I think they’ll have a really good time. So I’m giving them all invites (at our team meeting, to avoid the home address stress!) My only hesitation was the cost, but I think it’s worth it. I’m not worried about the vibe changing, either at work or at the wedding - they are all super friendly and will get along with whomever we sit them with.

So I’d say if there’s people you’re sad at the thought of not inviting, invite the team (the whole team, as you said). The fact that you’d be genuinely upset at the thought of some not being there - and the fact that you’re asking us! - I think shows that you really want to.

I’m inviting coworkers I hung out with who I had a personal relationship with

How formal is your wedding/how tight is your guest list?
I'm posting an invitation and RSVP number in the break room at work. I've had other coworkers do this in the past. The few I truly want there will get a formal invitation.

From what I've seen, the people who aren't actually close to the bride or groom don't go. But it helps to not offend the couple of people who maybe assumed or felt they should be invited? Or maybe it just makes the bride feel better lol

One of my coworkers had a wedding and invited some of us but not all of us. I was one not invited - it was totally fine! They were all very discreet, but eventually I picked up on it. If you work with mature people they will understand that being friendly coworkers isn’t necessarily the same as being friends.

My fiance and I met at work and have many mutual friends at work, so this was tricky for us. I also have a huge family so our guest list was big from the get go.

We work for a big company but our individual units are small. My unit is only 5 people who I adore as coworkers but we don't hang out outside of work, so we didn't send them STDs. My fiance's unit is a little bigger and we do spend time with some of them outside of work, so some of them are invited, but not all. So far, no one has pestered us about it.

My take - invite the people you truly want there, but if you're going to do this, try not to talk about the wedding at work. (You may find this doesn't work when your coworkers politely ask how the planning is going...which keeps happening to me.) As PP said, mature adults should understand how tricky wedding guest lists can get and that being friendly at work doesn't necessarily mean being friends

I thought about this too, I still have some time but at this point I'm not inviting coworkers. I just started my new job a few months ago and while my coworkers are great I would rather save room for long time friends and family that have known us both for a long time.

In the nicest way possible, oh hell no. 😂