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Just Said Yes September 2018

Bridesmaid Backed Out The Week Before.

Melyssa, on September 6, 2018 at 7:31 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 12

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Ok so I haven’t ever done this on here but I need some advice. I have 6 briidesmaids including my MOH. My wedding is next Saturday. The date has been set for almost a year and a half. One of my bridesmaids just messaged and told me that one of her other friends who is also getting married and who’s wedding she’s in, has changed their date to next Saturday as well, 30 minutes after mine is set to start. Idk what to do at this point. I kind of feel like mine has been set at that date for the longest amount of time and she should maintain her position with me because I really want her there but at the same time she’s known the other person longer than me and I don’t want to take her away from that. My sister in law has already offered before this happened to stand up there with me if something were to happen, the only thing about that is I don’t know if the dress she has will match and I really wanted everything to match! I don’t know what to do.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Melyssa, on September 10, 2018 at 6:30 PM

Just Said Yes September 2018
Melyssa · on September 6, 2018 at 7:37 PM
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I also want to add that I’m currently talking with this bridesmaid trying to work things out and the other bride is going off on her for it I’m not mad at her, I just don’t know what to do. I don’t think the other bride needs to be going off on her for it though. She’s the one who changed the date.
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Expert October 2018
BabsandBear · on September 6, 2018 at 7:51 PM
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I had a bridesmaid drop out as well. I was obviously frustrated by it but realized me being huffy wasn't going to solve any problems.
I'm having everyone walk in one at a time not in pairs. And for the reception the two brothers (groomsmen) will be accompanying my little sister as they enter.
It's no big deal.
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Beginner March 2019
Ericka · on September 6, 2018 at 7:57 PM
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I would ask to see if the dress that the bridesmaid who dropped out would be willing to lend you the dress and find someone the same size
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Melyssa · on September 6, 2018 at 8:01 PM
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The dress the bridesmaid who dropped out is a very small size, like a 0 or 00. Honestly there wouldn’t be anyone else that I’d want up there that would fit in it.
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on September 6, 2018 at 8:06 PM
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If she needs to drop out, you just don't replace her. Uneven bridal parties are fine, and much better than trying to shoehorn someone in at the last moment.
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VIP August 2018
Kristen · on September 6, 2018 at 8:44 PM
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Honestly you can just do it without her. She chose her priority wedding so let her do that one and just do mismatched sides. It’s super common and guests probably won’t really even notice.
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Dedicated October 2018
jcdb · on September 6, 2018 at 10:03 PM
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I am sorry you are having to deal with the extra stress.
Personally I would not replace her and just have uneven sides.
I will also have uneven sides as one of my BM had to drop out due to being SUPER pregnant and not being able to travel. I have two soon to be sister in laws who made it very clear they would be more than willing to fill in but I feel uncomfortable with replacing her.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 7, 2018 at 1:02 AM
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Just have the wedding without her. Don’t replace her.
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Super November 2018
Kiwibride · on September 7, 2018 at 1:17 AM
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Just have uneven sides. It's completely normal and more meaningful to stick with the people closest to you rather than add an extra just for numbers
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Devoted November 2018
alexisdemetra · on September 7, 2018 at 10:03 AM
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I am so sorry that happened. That's incredibly frustrating. I have a different opinion on these things I guess. A friend of mine's sister was pregnant and unable to come to her wedding and let her know just a month or two before. She asked me if I would like to step in and I was thrilled. I knew it was helping her out, that I could be apart of it, and was touched. However, it was enough time to still grab the same dress. I understand that's a more complicated part of this as well. I personally think it was so sweet of your SIL to offer and maybe she'd like to be included as well (even knowing she wasn't a "first" choice). However, if having someone not matching exactly is stressful, uneven numbers are also totally fine. Just throwing out a different opinion of someone who was asked to step in late and I did not take any offense to it at all.
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VIP December 2018
Casey · on September 7, 2018 at 1:08 PM
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I don't understand how someone could just change their wedding date? This is confusing to me. Is the other wedding a small, intimate affair, or are they expecting all their guests to shift their plans? That's weird.
I totally understand being upset. I am someone that would stick to my commitments and it's unfortunate your friend is being put in this situation. I wouldn't replace her, as others have said.
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Melyssa · on September 10, 2018 at 6:30 PM
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Thank you all for your comments and input! I want planning on replacing her initially, mainly for the reasons you all put. I didn’t want my sister in law to feel like she was a second choice. However, she went ahead and went online to David’s Bridal and checked to see if there was anything in her size and our color available and she found a dress on sale that was her size and it was the only one available! So she went ahead and got it. I do also want to point out that she and I have gotten a lot closer the past 6 months and she wasn’t around when we first got engaged and I was choosing my wedding party. Had she been, I would have chosen her to begin with and she knows this. As of right now everything is still going great! I get to do my last fitting Wednesday and guys I can’t tell you how excited I am!! Thanks again for all your input and comments!
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