BM's lack of effort...(vent.)

Their dress, their problem. Surely you have enough issues of your own to worry about?

Just remind them of the deadline and try to let it go. If they don't pick the dress up then you're right, they're a guest. However I'm sure they will pull through, they are obviously important people to you and you to them. Take some time for yourself soon!! <3

If it were me, I'd make sure they know the dress could be sent back, but that's all you can really do at this point.

You're absolutely right, I clearly stated that I have enough of my own things to worry about. But these are women that agreed to be in my wedding with the stipulation of buying a dress and picking it up. I have more invested than "just a dress." Gifts, hair and makeup, jewelry and flowers for them as well. I'd love to know if these women genuinely just don't give a shit or what the deal is. Again, this was merely a venting session because I feel like I'm babysitting grown women, but I don't want them to mess around and not have a dress. They know what would happen if they do, but that's not the end result I'm hoping for.

Are they at your local DB? Could you pick them up to avoid them being sent back? I picked mine up to make things easier. That meant my MOH's dress sat at my house until a month before the wedding, but hey, at least she had it!

That's another question I had. I can't get a definite answer from DB, but do any of you know what will happen if they don't pick up their dresses?

Oh.... I feel you, sorry. I know how stressful this is.

I mean they'll get it when they get around to it? What's the big deal? They ordered it and paid for it. They'll pick it up. Chill.

@MrsSki, they have the option to have it shipped as well. But the original fitting appointment we had didn't go well (in between sizes and what not) & both of these girls are worried about the dress fitting. I was told once they sign the papers, or if I did in their place, they can't do anything about swapping sizes.

@Vicki, did you read what I said? It's not just a leisurely thing... they have a date to have it by. Not "they'll get it when they get around to it" It's so easy to tell someone to chill when it's not your own situation you're concerned about. Thanks though.

I mean, not that it's your job, but if you're that worried they will get sent back, you can pick up their dresses yourself. My bridesmaid and groom person are my FH's kids, so I picked up their dresses when they were in school. That being said, you want to make sure they are the right size. First dress was supposed to be a size 4, and they sent us a size 14. Second bridesmaids dress was a junior size 14, and it was labeled as such. But was at least 2 sizes too big on her so we had to reorder.

Do they know the deadline from DB?

Ah. That makes it tougher then! That's so frustrating

I would tell them the deadline and move on. If they aren't serious about picking it up now, you picking it up for them won't light any other fires under them. The wedding isn't serious to them and since they have paid for it, I would let them deal with either getting a refund or having the dress resent to DB.

Yes, they know the deadline. And thanks y'all for just listening to me. I'm sure I'm overthinking it, I'm just stressing about every little thing right now and don't want to add to it with this silly stuff.

@OP, again, chill. I read your post in its entirety. You don't need to babysit adults. If they don't pick it up, they can attend as guests. You're still months away from your wedding. Half my girls haven't even ordered yet. I'm not micromanaging them. They know there's a deadline.

And I'm saying chill because I think you're overreacting and need to take a deep breath and a step back. Control what is in your control and let everything else go.

@Vicki, that's your opinion. And you're entitled to it. But when they have 3 days to get the dress, I'm not by any means overreacting. Thank you for reminding me that I'm still months away. That's irrelevant to the fact that their dresses are in and need to be picked up.

@OP I don't think you're over reacting at all, I'd be stressed too I would remind them again and offer to go pick it up if they didn't have time but let them know that they can't exchange sizes if the dresses don't fit since they weren't there to try them on.

Shortly before my wedding, I got a call from DB in Virginia telling me that my flower girl's dress was about to be sent back. FG's family was on vacation out of state for 2 weeks, and I was in Pennsylvania. I paid $5 or $10 to have DB mail the dress to her house where it was waiting for them to be picked up. Is that an option for you? It would probably be worth the $20 for peace of mind.

You say you understand that they're busy and have their own lives, but the balance of the post doesn't say that. You aren't babysitting grown women; you're checking up on one facet of their lives. I'd be shocked if DB doesn't contact these ladies before shipping the gowns -- for a September wedding -- back to the manufacturer in July -- especially since the dresses have been paid in full. If they do, then your attendants deal with what's left -- which is probably the BMs having the gowns shipped, at their expense, from the manufacturer to their homes. I could mention "no dress, no walking", but that's premature.

If you want to send them a text or an email -- or call them -- go ahead, but try to remain logical, not emotional. This will work itself out.

ETA: Kahlcara's post is informative and relevant.