Adult Reception questions...

A general rule is not to break family units, so if someone has a 5 yr old that's invited, they should be able to bring their 3 yr old. That doesn't mean they will.

Also, if you invite a sibling that is 13, and they have a sibling under 13, IMO that sibling should also be invited.

Defo better to make it 18 instead of splitting children up eg 13 year old go but 12 year old hard luck

As others have said, if you truly want an adult reception, go with 18. Also, siblings always should be invited together. If you have a child in your ceremony, they should be invited to the reception. It's rude to make them part of your ceremony and then make them leave before the reception. It makes them seem like props.

Ok, I am fine wih having the ceremony kids come to the reception. And I am ok with siblings above/below the threshold coming. Just trying to avoid everyone on the list bringing all their children because it will be way too crazy.

Is it okay to have a little note on the RSVP saying something along the lines of: "While children are a blessing, the bride and groom request guests be 13 years and over" Or something like that? We can reach out to those who have kids of multiple ages and clarify...?

You address your invite to those invited, but if you have a family with an 8 year old and a 13 year old, you have to include both kids. So it's easier to just have no kids or ONLY kids in the ceremony and their siblings. Or no kids in the ceremony and so no kids at all.

You might have some parents upset that some kids are invited and others aren't. I would keep it 18+. And only invite children that are in the bridal party (and their siblings).

No, don't put anything on the invites/RSVP card. It's rude to point out who isn't invited.

I wouldn't put that on the invitation. Address the people who are invited, and if you want it to be adult only, invite only those over 18.

My family won't get it if I just address those invited on the envelope...80% are from another country so they don't get the etiquette, i would have to be blunt. They would throw away the envelope for sure and not pay attention.

If you invite 13 and up, you are stuck inviting siblings if they are younger than 13, sorry.

Invite 18 and older and put adult reception to follow on the invitation if you're concerned they won't pay attention to the envelope.

Ok so it's not particularly rude to say "Adult Reception" on the invite, but it is rude to indicate that on the RSVP? Just trying to clarify (?)

Thanks much for all the feedback , by the way

I think Adult Reception to follow is fine on the invite, and on the RSVP if you're inclined. I just wouldn't write a note saying anyone under 13 isn't invited. Stick with 18 and up and you should be ok.

Good look doing adult only for people flying in. Asking parent to fly to a different country and leave their kids behind for a few nights is a huge ask in terms of childcare

Alright so is it ok to put "Adult Reception" on the invite and the kids participating in the ceremony are invited, along with their siblings? It's understood that they would be invited to the reception, right?

If anyone complains that they weren't allowed to bring their kids we can say the kids invited were in the ceremony and we didn't want to break up siblings.

That's not rude, right?

1. Yes usually children participating in the ceremony would be invited to the reception with their siblings. 2. YES! I think this is the best way to go. I really don't understand why people feel like they need to have children in the ceremony if they don't want them at the reception. I'm inviting children to my wedding and not having any in the ceremony, so I guess I don't see the point of it in general (unless you have children of your own). I've been to "adult" weddings where there were one or two kids who were in the ceremony, and they were really bored and distracting to their parents. I feel like when there are several kids, they play together and stay out of the way, but when there's only one or two, they need more adult attention. 3. I think the most polite way to indicate who is invited is just by listing their names on the invitation envelope. Some people do an inner envelope to make it really clear. You should ask your BP and parents to help you spread it by word of mouth when people ask. You can also put something on your website. On the RSVP card, you could fill in the # invited for each family ("We reserved __ seats in your honor").

Only a few would fly in from overseas, those who are do not have kids.

They moved here in the 70s but they just don't get the etiquette here is what i was saying bc they are not from here.

Do you have a wedding website? I put a note there and included the url for the website on the invitation. If there are specific people that you are worried won't pay attention, you might want to speak to them directly- you could even point them in the direction of possible on-site childcare providers if they aren't local.

It seems like making it 18+ might make it less complicated, but you know your friends and family best.

I was a little worried that people would be put out that our wedding was adults only, but the only feedback that I actually heard was relief at having a fun night off from the kids.

Ok sorry your previous comment said 80% fly in , defo make it either 18 and up or allow children . The age 13 thing is rude to split up children in a family

Ok good point