A Bittersweet Non-Pro BAM

So my best friend had her boyfriend kind of stock the photographer and he caught some really great candid moments during pictures before the ceremony.

This is me and Jarred giving our best man and maid of honor the "what the hell are you guys doing" look while they goofed off while the photographer was setting up the whole bridal party picture.

Our first kiss as husband and wife!

Walking back up the aisle.

Our First Dance. Jarred was cracking up the whole time because he was so embarrassed to be dancing in front people!

At Dinner - the food was amazing!

The Father/Daughter Dance. My dad ALMOST made it all the way through without crying.

You look beautiful

My amazing cake during the cake cutting, note the different dress. The first one was so gorgeous, but that mermaid style is just really hard to sit in and equally hard to walk around in. I was really glad I brought the back up dress just in case.

And now the good, the bad, and the advice.

The good: we were on time! My girls all got ready on time, we started pictures on time (other than waiting on the groom to get dressed so that we could do the first look), the ceremony started relatively on time (only 5 minutes late), and all the formal pictures were done within 5 minutes of when we planned and we got to enjoy our cocktail hour and even start the reception a little early. The food was delicious! I didn't get many appetizers, but the one crab cake I had was amazing. Dinner was ginger braised short ribs and halibut with seasonal veggies and a green salad. I had the halibut and it was excellent! I think I was a little overwhelmed at this point though because I only managed to eat a few bites before I was full, but the guests gave us plenty of time to eat, very few people interrupting for pictures or to talk so we were able to enjoy a very nice meal before the major mingling started. There's so much more that went so well that I can't even mention all of it. It was such an amazing day and it all went by so fast! All the guests I talked to raved about the food and how much fun they had (I really hope they weren't all lying to make me feel better, I didn't get that impression, but you never know…)

The bad: the number one bad thing was the coordinators at the venue. I won't get into everything that annoyed me about them because then I'd be writing a novel, but one thing stuck out as most irksome. We're rehearsing the ceremony and my dad is walking me down the aisle. We get to the end and I turn to him and tell him to just give me a hug and step back to his seat. One of the coordinators then chose that moment to step in and told him he HAD to take my hand and place it in my husband's hand and then step back to his seat. I was at a loss as to what I should say to this person. I am not property that is being handed off, I am sharing a moment with my dad on a very special day and that's why I wanted a hug and not a hand off. As shocked and angry as I was though, this was really the moment I knew that my friends and family have my back. I looked over to my girls and they had all taken like half a step forward, like they were ready to fight for me, with varying looks of disgust on their faces. I looked at my husband and shared a look that was half shock that this stranger would step into a moment like this and half "what do we do now?" and I made the executive decision to completely ignore this person who had gone from "helpful coordinator" to "shit list" in two seconds flat. I turn to my dad (and according to my sister, this was hilarious) and simply said "Ok, so you're going to give me a hug, I'm going to step this way, and you're going to step that way to your seat without stepping on my dress" (he ended up stepping on my dress the next day btw but I'm not even mad because the laughing broke my nervousness for a minute).

All in all the day really went off without a hitch, despite the annoying and rather half-assed coordinators. Everyone had fun, the food was amazing, and most importantly my husband and I shared a very special day with friends and family.

And lastly, the advice. I'll start by reiterating the advice given by almost every bride I've seen on these forums. Get sleep the night before - I couldn't sleep that night and I was so exhausted the next day that I felt like I couldn't fully enjoy the festivities. I honestly wish I had taken a sleeping pill or something. EAT not just at dinner, but breakfast and lunch too. And bring snacks with you - I wasn't hungry at all until almost the end of pictures and I was so grateful that my MOH packed gold fish for me.

My last piece of advice speaks to the bittersweet aspect of my wedding. The day after our wedding day, my husband's mom passed away. I won’t get into all the details because this is already an incredibly long BAM, just know that she'd been sick and in pain for a very long time and we are all so grateful that she not only made it to the wedding, but had the time of her life. When I look back at my wedding day and remember her, I remember her good natured chastising of her son for holding up the pictures, her stubborn insistence that she get out of her wheelchair for pictures, and her dancing and laughing the night away at the reception. These things are always a shock, but we are comforted in the knowledge that she is no longer in pain and that one of her last days on this earth was such a happy one. I'm finding it difficult to put into words my advice to all you brides out there so I'll just say this: I am so very grateful that I was totally and completely in the moment that day. I woke up that morning and decided that whatever was going to happen was going to happen and it's too late to stop it now if something goes wrong. I am so glad I took that attitude that day because if I had been too stressed or constantly checking the time to make sure things were happening when and how they were supposed to, I would have missed those few moments I had with my mother in law that day. So take a breath and remember that none of us know what tomorrow will bring, so enjoy all those special moments to their fullest.

I'm sorry to hear of your mil passing but I'm glad she is in a better place

Beautiful pictures!! I'm so sorry for you and H's loss, but you're right. It's wonderful that she was able to be there and enjoy the wedding. Best wishes for a beautiful life together!

Firstly, you and FH make a beautiful couple and it looks like you had a great time/an amazing wedding day! Secondly, your advice. The last piece of advice has my crying over my keyboard at work. I am so sorry for your and DH loss. You couldn't have worded it any better - we all need to enjoy our special moments to the fullest because we never know what tomorrow will bring. I wish you guys many years of love and happiness.

I'm so sorry for your loss but also in awe that she got to have an amazing last day and what sweet memories for you and your DH!

Congratulations in your marriage, your wedding was beautiful!

Thank you guys! @FutureMrsAK I didn't mean to make anyone cry! Although, I will admit that I had myself tearing up over my own keyboard typing that. But then again this is only my second day back at work after the wedding, the funeral, and the long drive home so I just chalk that up to my emotions still being all over the place.

I am so sorry for you and your husband for your loss. I am so glad she gets to enjoy that day!

Congrats on your beautiful wedding!

Your pictures are beautiful! I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. You worded it perfectly and I'm so glad she got to witness such a beautiful day.

I am so sorry to hear about your MIL's passing. It sounds like you had such a beautiful day with her. Your pictures are amazing!

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like the memories you all made that day are made even more special now. Looked like a wonderful day.

I'm so sorry about your MIL!!! Beautiful pictures

I'm in tears reading your post and I can't picture a more wonderful last day on earth than such an amazing and beautiful party. I'm so sorry for yours and your new hubby's loss but a very big hug and a congrats from me