Discouraged

As nerve wracking as it sounds...you need to speak up girl! I know it’s easier said than done, but at the end of the day...you’ll be glad you stood up for yourself. This is yours and your fiancées day. Make it your own is your fiancée not standing up to his mom either?

First, this is your future MIL’s wedding. This is your wedding and your FS’s wedding. Second, why (if this isn’t what either of you want) is your FS not standing up to your FMIL? That would be an issue for me, because if your FMIL gets her way with this, what’s next?

You need to tell your fiancé how you feel, and he needs to tell his parents that this is not the wedding that the two of you want. Turn down their money, pay for it yourselves (even if you need to postpone for a bit in order to save up) and have the wedding YOU want.

Just realized my comment said it is your FMIL’s wedding- I meant it is NOT her wedding.

Agree with the above statements. Even if you have to forego your wedding in July (which the 19th is my birthday 😊-good date!) I think it’s more important to have the wedding that is for you and your FH.


First step is to have a heart-to-heart with your FH and tell him everything you’ve stated here and make a plan to approach his parents nicely but firmly. Stand your ground 😊

This is you and your FS wedding and you should have what you two want! If you do not want the things that your FMIL is planning, then you and you FS need to let her know that you appreciate all of her help, but you two will take over planning INCLUDING covering all of the finances. You can't expect you future in-laws to pay for the wedding and then give them nothing in return.

Echoing the other brides on here, this is YOUR wedding. My fiance's mom made it clear she wants this, that and the other - nothing like what we had in mind. So, my fiance spoke up and said "mom, this is OUR wedding." He spoke up for the both of us, respectfully. While she did end up throwing a fit, I feel very comforted in knowing my fiance and I are a united front. She acted out in a childish way and I have decided not to engage with her until she starts to speak to me with respect. Plain and simple. This is my day with her son. No one else! Good luck to you!!

I have a lot of strong personalities in my family, so I totally get how you're feeling, all throughout my life! The way I've been able to successfully navigate this is by understanding where the other person is coming from. That always softens my heart. Your in-laws are acting the way they are because they are excited and want this wedding to be awesome. They want the best for the both of you. They don't seem to want to put you down, but they want to lift you up. Seeing it this way makes wedding planning more enjoyable and a more communal act rather than us versus them. Sometimes letting go of our own desires for the sake of others, realizing it is ultimately for your joy, keeps peace in the home and makes it a much more enjoyable experience. It actually opens the other person's mind to listen to your thoughts as well then. If you create an "us versus them" environment, no one will listen, and it will be counter-productive! Being more cooperative and respectful makes the others take your opinions into consideration as well. I speak from experience with my wedding situation, where my parents didn't even want to meet my fiance let alone consider me marrying him. After being wise with my actions as I've outlined above, now we are getting married and my parents are the happiest people on the planet! I still got my way without making anyone mad or ruining relationships. I know my answer is VERY different from everyone else's. But this always works. It works for me and I am genuinely happy!

You and your fiance need to talk to his parents. He needs to be in your corner on this!