My fiance and I decided to cancel our 60+person wedding in August but elope on the same day. I told most of my family and friends last week, including my dad.
So a bit of backstory about my family: not a great relationship with my mom (she's pretty selfish and has done a lot of horrible stuff to damage the relationship I.e. leaving my grad halfway through because I was dancing with my dad at the father daughter dance), my parents are divorced, my dad left when I was 7 (me and brother saw him 1-5 times a year for 10 years), my brother who's 17 (alright relationship), and my sister (love her to bits, technically my half sister but is like my child since there's a 10 year age difference between us).
Back to the elopement. My fiance and I had envisioned for my sister and my fiances parents to be there. Well we tell everyone last week about plans and my fiances sister wants to come (good relationship, just didn't think she would be interested in attending since she's pretty antisocial and spends 90% of her time in her room even before covid). We say, sure why not you can come. I tell my dad and he got super mad because I am only inviting my sister from "my side of the family". Due to the complicated family stuff mentioned above, I didn't want to invite my mom because the relationship with her is toxic (Also, she was invited to the big wedding, but I made it very clear that she was only invited as a guest and she would get no recognition as the MOB). If I invited my brother, I would need to invite my dad. And if my brother, dad and sister were invited and my mom wasn't invited, she would get mad/say passive aggressive things about me/not let me see my sister (she is under 18 and still living with my mom).
I understand that my dad is hurt that I am not inviting him basically because of my mom, but I don't know what else to do. If I invite him, she'll be mad. If I invited both, then they would stress me out and honestly I don't want to spend my wedding that way. What would you do? Would you invite someone you dislike to an intimate wedding to make someone else happy or not invite either? Before the conversation with my dad, I thought we had a good relationship and I don't want to ruin it. But at the same time, I don't want to invite my mom to the intimate wedding
