Hi. I had the most amazing wedding two weeks ago, everything went to plan, I had lots of fun and it was just amazing. All those wonderful feelings came crashing down on me when I started viewing the pictures from the wedding. Everyone told me that I was the most beautiful bride they'd ever seen, and I loved how I looked too, but now that I've seen some pictures, I really don't know how to feel. I am a make up artist, but I decided to trust another person for the big day, because I didn't want to pressure myself on the morning of and just relax. I did a make up trial, the girl did very good. I liked my make up, but I noticed that my contour had made a hole on my face.
I told her about this, and she said that it's fine. Both my make up artist and hairdresser hadn't slept the night before because they had a photoshoot, and they were in a big hurry throughout the whole morning. Before the venue I noticed that the contour was like dirt to my face and had holes in it, so I redid it, and everyone told me it looked better. Well, now that I see the pictures, it's like I have two big holes in my cheeks. Problem number two was that my hairdresser put too much gel on my hair, and I've had a white patch on my head throughout the whole day. Nobody noticed it, me included, but it's very noticeable in pictures. I truly want to cry. I feel really bad I didn't do my own make up and I don't know if I will ever trust another person to do my face, so now I just feel this emptiness that I know I should just let go of because I felt beautiful on the day. But now I have only the pictures to look at and a couple of videos and those little imperfections are all I can see when I look at them. I've also had the post wedding blues because I did everything myself for the wedding so now I feel another emptiness, and I feel that it is bringing more negativity to the problem. I'm wondering if I should visit a therapist to deal. I also believe I have ocd and I obsess too much over these kinds of things. I'm putting pictures so you could see what l'm talking about. Those are some of the most noticeable ones (I’ve enhanced some). I need someone who is not close to me to tell me that I'm crazy and overthinking it. Being a perfectionist is so freaking draining and it takes the joy away so easily.
