Disappointed and Depressed

Dude it makes so much sense that you’re feeling that. Because I have friends who deem some things that count and some that don’t. For instance I didn’t hangout with any friends until yesterday but prior to I had asked friends who did hangout with friends what the protocol is. And then one of my friends said “i didn’t hangout with anyone yet and I certainly wouldn’t now” I said uh didn’t you tell me you had a double date last weekend? And she goes “well that doesn’t even count because that was my boyfriends brother and his girlfriend” um you don’t live with any of them you don’t even live with your boyfriend so how does that not count?... AND my friend is an essential worker too


I got super annoyed at that but see it shows people deem certain things as ok and some as not ... not sure why

View Quoted Comment Right!! Like you want to live your life, that’s fine with me! Do your thing. But don’t tell me you’re scared to celebrate the most important day of my life when you’re clearly living yours and posting it on social media!

View Quoted Comment And I only hung out with ONE friend yesterday! Like gosh man, I don’t need you being judgy when what you’re doing is not exactly “correct” either

Hope it all works out. As a former October 2020 bride who is now an October 2021 bride, I know firsthand how this sucks. But prior to postponing, I was in a “bridal denial” about reality because I wanted the wedding to move forward. But a day after postponing, I felt so much relief now that we don’t have to think about the wedding while the pandemic, reopenings and increasing numbers are still so new and uncertain. Given that you notice yourself changing, postponing might be best for your stress and mental health. Unfortunately, we can’t dictate what a person should and shouldn’t attend or their comfort in one environment over another. Maybe your friends view a wedding as being more of an up close and intimate event with mingling, hugging dancing, etc. in comparison to restaurants. I’m not certain. But, ultimately, we shouldn’t be upset or judgemental about their decisions. It might be difficult not to take it personally but hopefully you won’t view it that way. COVID is very crazy overall. So as brides, let’s not blame our friends when the true is bigger than them. But hopefully you can go through with your September wedding plans, even if some guests don’t attend.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for that. I totally feel like I have been in denial as well but I have come to reality that things are getting worse and Covid cases are increasing. I’m in CA and it looks like we may go into another lock down. After a lot of going back and forth, we ultimately decided the best decision is to postpone. A

I’m sorry. I’m also a 2020 bride that postponed to 2021. We went from July 2020 to Feb 2021. My fiancé is in his 40s and I saw him cry multiple times, because he didn’t want to wait another full year. We will get married in February with any restrictions unless there is a massive shutdown.


These past few months have been a roller coaster. I also had feelings of hurt about no one checking in on us. Also feelings of “this isn’t fair we had to watch everyone else get married through the years and this is what happens during our turn”. And this should be a happy time in our lives...instead it’s just anxiety, stress, and depressing. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since we decided to postpone and we are at peace with it. Fingers crossed that 2021 will be everything we envision. Virtual hugs.

View Quoted Comment Yep, I’m in SoCal and I think we’re heading back into quarantine 🤦🏽‍♀️. The denial is so real as brides, but it’s also totally understandable. I hope you can find comfort in your decision to postpone.

I know how you feel. I have friends who are reluctant to go to my bridal shower (I'm not supposed to know anything, but since I've heard some things, I reached out to my sister and fiance to tell me what was wrong). However these SAME FRIENDS were at alerter friend's house 1 week ago - I was there too - at least 30 people were there, and I was the only one wearing a mask 80% of the time! These people didn't even BRING masks. And now they're reluctant to enter a professional establishment that has a safety protocol, but they're OK with a friend's house. Unbelievable. I understand being concerned about Covid, but then don't go out doing other things.

I understand your frustration and it’s totally justified. It is very frustrating when people are too afraid to go to your wedding, but have no problem hanging out at a bar with random people they don’t know. It sucks to get so excited about all of the planning and all the details in the time and effortAnd daydreaming about your wedding all day long, do you have your plans crushed and be forced to have it next year. I can tell you one thing, if this covid thing is still in its “full rage” next year, I don’t care. I’m going to have my wedding next year no matter what at this point.

It makes complete sense that you are struggling. Have you considered talking with a therapist or counselor? The way you are feeling is most likely due to the situation, but seeking help might really help. (Someone I respect once said, think of a therapist as a paid friend who HAS to listen to you, even when no one else is listening.) Many employers offer an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) that provides for a limited number of sessions with a mental health professional. Many therapists are offering tele- or virtual sessions. It would be nice if your friends and family could provide the support you need, but I think right now everyone is struggling -- they just show it in different ways. Good luck to you!

I live across the river from Manhattan. My FIL probably had it, a lot of my friends have had it.

SOLIDARITY on the anger.

I'm also higher risk, so I can't go back to work (though I haven't been called back, yet), DH has lost his catastrophe pay and had to file for unemployment... it's so stressful. We probably need to replace our windows - and likely now-ish, because 2 won't open/shut correctly - and we're afraid to have people in the house.

And people are out there having pool parties and all kinds of nonsense.

My friends can't even have real baby showers because that's *far* too risky, but... even in NYC people are out crowding bars!

I'm sorry you had to postpone. *internet hugs*

I feel the same way as you. It's been really hard and my FH has been my #1 support system. Our original wedding day was Saturday and I did not hear from my parents or sister or any of the bridal party.

Yeah, it's a bonkers situation. I've been on the "delay/ cancel" bus from the beginning (Sept VA wedding) because I'm just full of anxiety and guilt about this.
My partner convinced me we should move forward because we have no clue what next year may bring. Many of the people attending our wedding aren't taking the pandemic as seriously as I'd hope. His logic was - they're going to expose themselves with or without our wedding. We can ask them to take precautions (masks), and honestly if we postpone it they might catch it before the next one happens. It's a mess.
I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for any outcome. Because I don't want to resent my partner for pushing forward - I've agreed to it, so I need to get 100% on board as though the decision was my own.

Your feelings are a hundred percent justified. I find it hard to deal with all the people out and about who are acting as if corona is gone and now we have a spike. I am happy that you have your FH who is supportive of you. I hope the situation improves by the time of your wedding.