Dinner VS Desserts and Appetizers???

If your reception is during dinner hours, then yes, you need to provide a meal. If you want to do cake and punch or apps and cocktails, go for a reception at 11 or 1.

If the reception starts later than a normal meal time, an "cake and punch" (or appetizer) reception should be fine. you could consider doing a pasta station to keep the older guests happy by serving something a bit more filling.

if your reception IS during a typical meal time, they are right and regardless of cost you SHOULD serve a full meal. if this is the case, consider either moving your reception time, changing your date (but looking at your date doesnt seem possible) or reduce your guest list to accommodate the budget... or let the biddies complain cuz you can't please everyone

Not serving dinner is not necessarily a 'disaster'. I promise, you'll be just as married, and as long as 'dessert and coffee to follow' is noted on your invites, you'll still be gracious hosts.

I know staying up late isn't for everyone, but I would hope your relatives could take a nap the day of or the day after and make the effort, cause you're right-- serving more serious food will quickly get more expensive!

If the timing is right and you tell your guests what to expect, it'll be fine. Start the reception at 2:00 or 8:30 and put right on the invites, "Join us for light hors d'oeuvres and sumptuous desserts."

I was a definite budget bride. We decided on hors d'oeuvres served at cocktail hour and then different heavier hors d'oeuvres (like mini burgers and sweet potato fries, fried green tomatoes etc...) served all night long, along with a Chicken and Waffle Station with all the toppings and a fun Potato Bar with all the toppings too. We also had a Desert Station filled with different deserts. No one complained about not getting enough food. We only received compliments on the unique choices we decided on. Everything was fun and with a Southern flare. Food was flowing all night. Our wedding was at 6pm with reception starting at 7pm. I think if you do it, keep it fun and maybe a little untraditional like we did and make sure there is more than enough. That way they will spend more time complimenting you on your unique food choices then questioning where the traditional salmon/steak/chicken plate was. :-) End of the day this is YOUR DAY!

My FH and I talked about it and we decided to change the times, ceremony at 6 and the reception starting at 7. We've also started to talk about cutting our guest list down a bit. We're going to have a sort of deli themed bar with small sliced deli sandwiches, pasta salad, as well as a salad options. We're still going to have our full fruit and dessert bar too. Thanks everyone for your honest opinions!

Unless the appetizers are light like a meat/cheese tray or tea sandwiches that are served at a non-meal time, most are pretty filling. So if you have huge selection, people will get stuffed and won't have room for a full dinner. I honestly don't think you need to worry about guests missing a plated meal or going home hungry. Heavy appetizers are generally more food than you get with a plated meal as it is.

I think you're fine with heavier appetizers. That's what we are planning with our venue, since doing a nice variety of heavy appetizers will allow us to also host an open bar up to our budget allowance.

Talk with your vendor/caterer about app portions and options that are suitable to replace a regular buffet dinner. They will be able to help you make sure there is plenty of food to go around.