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Danielle
Master June 2019

Dinner During Pictures

Danielle, on November 19, 2018 at 10:07 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 20

I know traditionally there is a cocktail hour during pictures (between the ceremony and reception). However, I have noticed at weddings I have attended that people tend to get "hungry" waiting for pictures to be finished. Especially if they have kids, are elderly, or do not drink. We are not doing a sit down dinner. We are doing a buffet, and there will be plenty to go around (i'm not picky about having to be first in line, because I think the food will taste the same whether i'm first or last). Additionally, I don't plan on many appetizers, other than maybe a fruit/veggie table....we are working with a small budget.

Therefore, I am considering letting the guests go ahead and start dinner while we take pictures; so they don't have to wait. After pictures, we can be introduced and join everyone for dinner. Thoughts? Anyone think this is a good idea, or have any alternative suggestions?

This is mainly because of a recent wedding I attended. There was a lot of waiting. 5 pm ceremony led to a long wait during pictures, followed by introductions and designated dances. All before dinner. People were getting "hangry," lol.

20 Comments

Latest activity by #RMC2019, on November 20, 2018 at 6:50 AM
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Personally I would think it was really odd if dinner started before the couple arrived at the reception. All the weddings I’ve attended have had loads of apps during cocktail hour though so no one is ever hungry before they get there.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    Have some sort of appetizer for them. They may finish their food before you even get into the reception and then at that point they'll all be trying to talk to you which means you will barely get to eat. With a buffet most places will make a plate for you and your SO with some of each food for you so you are not in line with everyone else. Ask your venue about this but it really does help so you can get some food in you.

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  • NVV2B
    VIP January 2019
    NVV2B ·
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    I think this is totally fine. You don't have to wait to serve the meal and I think your guests will be much happier being fed sooner than later.

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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I think this will be fine. My ceremony is mid afternoon so we won’t be eating too late.
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  • Tianna
    Savvy June 2019
    Tianna ·
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    As long as you don’t care about seeing the reception space before anyone gets in I don’t see s problem with it. Do what works for you!
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    The solution to this problem is generally more food and selection during the cocktail hour.

    id find it a bit strange to head to dinner without the couple, but to each their own. There are some logistical things to consider here though. Will some people be done eating by the time you sit down to eat? Will people be up getting food or in the middle of their meal when you guys make your entrance? All of these are not ideal and present challenges. Id almost think that instead of joining mid-meal, dining separately and making a big entrance after dinner might go more smoothly. Just a lot of things to work around— if you get introduced mid-dinner, something quick and simple is best, so guests can stay seated and their food doesn’t get cold. Little details like that.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    How long will your pictures be? Can you do a first look and do some before? I think it's odd to have people eating at a wide range of times like that.

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  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
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    Usually cocktail hours have appetizers to tide people over until dinner. If it is a budget thing I'd look into affordable appetizer options that will satiate guests while keeping the price reasonable.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    Well, I was thinking it would make the guests happy, and wouldn't be a big deal to me if they ate first. Honestly, I don't mind doing my introductions while they eat either. I'm not sure how long pictures will take, but our ceremony is at 5pm... so have to consider ceremony and picture time. it could be 7pm or later before everyone gets to eat, and for some that might be too late. This would also save me a lot of money on appetizers. We are having a "country" wedding, and I don't think it is "too important" to be ultra formal and proper with the traditional cocktail hour. I don't know, I am still throwing around the idea. No decisions have been made, I was just wondering what everyone else thought about it... and if you don't like the idea, do you have any alternative suggestions to expensive appetizers?

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    When are you going to be greeting guests individually? If you aren't doing a receiving line then you should do table visits, but I don't see how that would work if people were finishing up eating as you arrived.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    I was just thinking I would walk around and talk to guests throughout the night.

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    We did a first look, so we got most of our pictures done ahead of time. We also greeted everyone after the ceremony, dismissing them from their seats one row at a time, so we didn’t have to worry about going table to table (and from what I’ve heard, our guests really liked that). There were appetizers during the cocktail hour, then we ate with everyone else, but snuck out at the end of dinner for sunset pictures, then came back in for cake cutting/first dance/etc.
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  • Jen
    Dedicated November 2018
    Jen ·
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    I have seen this done, but it was at a brunch wedding. They had a mimosa hour prior to the ceremony and the bride and groom mingled with their guests at that time. Then we all headed down to the ceremony site. Afterwards, the bride and groom took pictures while everyone else hit the buffet. We were all pretty hungry by then since we didn't expect the hour wait before the ceremony. I don't think they did a formal entrance/bridal party intro. They just came in after pictures. It worked out fine.

    You could also go with some heavier apps during cocktail hour. A friend of mine had mini grilled cheeses with a shot of tomato soup. That's not too difficult or pricey. Even something like bread sticks or chips and salsa would be fine. Just something a little heartier than fruit & veggies. Or heck, even a big bowl of goldfish crackers for the kids.


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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    A reception is a party that is part of the wedding celebration, and hosted by you. The host should be present at as much of their party as possible. In recent years, some people have gone from a usual up to half hour of photo time away from guests, to 45 min, then to a cocktail hour, and recently I have been to 2 where it has pushed to 1¼ hour to 1½ hour. That is where the problem is. You can add appetizers to cocktail time, and that solves the hunger problem. But in my mind, and that of many people I hear grumbling, lots of couples put their photos way ahead of their guests. You are the hosts of the feast, and all of the after wedding stuff should focus on you. And that means setting things up so you will be with your guests, as much as possible. Many couples want a lot of pictures. I did too. But except on rare occasions where weddings are stacked up back to back at a venue ir church, there is no reason ½ or ¾ of wedding pictures cannot be taken in the 2 hours before the wedding. Bride and all the bridesmaids pics , separately groom and his guys. One of the families , then the other. Except for bride and groom together, people can be available for things not involving guests, before 90% of the guests get there. Instead of just making it possible for them to go through to dinner on their own, look at reworking your schedule, so the hosts of the wedding, you, and your closest family and your wedding party, are with the guests. This is how it was done for generations, Limit any time away from guests. . .People have gotten into celebrity photo shoots, but need to remember that they have guests. When we were interviewing photographers, 3 of the 4 we considered said they preferred to do groom and groomsmen, parents and siblings with groom, parents from both sides of the wedding, then dismiss all but bride's parents, and do bride with bride's parents, B with bridesmaids, B family. We went with one of the 2 who had a photographer with assistant, and who showed past schedules of starting an hour and a half ahead, with appointments at ten minute intervals for people to show up. We wanted pics of us together for ourselves, so started that earlier, just groom and I on the inn grounds. And then my family, all there and dressed, my party, etc, then after 20 minutes, groom's side. In 40 minutes of group shots, not counting groom and I earlier, every requested shot was done. We had only 15 minutes after the ceremony of pictures. As our ceremony and venue were simply in different rooms, we and the wedding party and all family were with the guests for 30 min of 45 minute cocktails and light apps time, and together, went in to dinner. And had introductions, and toasts, not just, go eat. Consider that letting the photo time dictate the schedule may not be the best thing. Move back from this unreality tv and wedding industry push for more and more time away from guest, putting inanimate objects, pictures, ahead of the people there to share your WITH you, not with you off someplace. Socialize with your guests, and family and wedding party too, during most pre-dinner time. Have as much time as you want in the 1-1½ hours or so before the wedding, stopping a half hour before the ceremony, or whenever guests are arriving, unless you are in a separate area. And put people, your guests, as your priority as soon as possible after the ceremony, during cocktails. And this also will cut down on some table visit time. Guests will have more energy for your wedding festivities if you do not leave them hanging for any more than 1/2 hour after the ceremony. Don't just send them off to start dinner alone. You are the party hosts. You are the life of the whole affair. Guests are not there just to eat.
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  • HayMrsO
    Master October 2018
    HayMrsO ·
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    Well, we did a version of this. Here is what worked for us.

    We did have a cocktail hour immediately following the ceremony. We had a large Charcuterie spread and had one passed appetizer of coconut shrimp. We took several photos right after the ceremony, then joined the party for the remaining of the cocktail hour. We all sat down to dinner. Ours was a buffet as well, but the salads were plated so the guests had something to eat right when they sat down. Our caterers brought us our food fairly quickly. We ate a bit, then we snuck off and did our sunset pics while the guests ate dinner. People really didn't even notice we were gone. When we returned, the caterer brought us our food back (which they graciously kept warm for us) and we finished our food, then cut and served the cake. Worked out wonderfully!

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Yes, another workable way to be with your guests more when they are talking andq such before sitting down to dinner, and you being very much a presence. Others I know wait til after the first 3-4 dances are over, and most guests are themselves dancing or visiting table to table, the go off for some pics of the couple, or do all wedding party pics against the reception area with either a few decorated things or guests in other rooms. A second half hour when they will be missed less than during that first excitement post ceremony, during cocktails and beginning of dinner. We all want nice pics, but with a little creativity, like yours, there are better times than a large block of time before the dinner.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    There's no way to make sure that you greet each and every guest and thank them for attending that way, which is one of your duties as hosts. That's why people do table visits or receiving lines.

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  • Mollie Kate
    Savvy March 2019
    Mollie Kate ·
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    I’ve worked for a catering company for years and catered tons of weddings! Guests absolutely hate to wait for the bride & groom to arrive before eating dinner. Our buffet will be open as soon as guests arrive. When we get to the reception our caterer is providing a plate for us in a separate room for us to sit down enjoy and eat before mingling with guests. That way we can still eat & relax before the party really starts! After that we’ll be introduced in and go straight into our first dance then mingle and visit with everyone!!
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  • V
    Super April 2019
    Valerie ·
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    I would think it would be super bizarre. I'd also think it was bizarre to have a cocktail hour without lots of food. That's generally the best food at a wedding and my favorite time at the wedding because I get to eat food and catch up with lots of friends.

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  • #RMC2019
    Expert July 2019
    #RMC2019 ·
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    I agree with Sarah... I dont think dinner should start without you. However I have a 5 p.m. start time for my wedding. So the guest should snack or grab sometjin5g before that time so that they will be able to hang until its time for dinner at the reception. Dont rush or change anything for your guest. They know what happens at weddings they should be prepared. A small bite before they attend and everything will be fine.
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