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Just Said Yes September 2021

Dilemma-wedding/pregnancy

Hannah, on August 21, 2019 at 6:51 AM Posted in Planning 1 8

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Hi, I am new here but I am desperate for feedback as I haven’t shared any of this with anyone...

Me, 40 yrs old trying to conceive with a wedding date of June 6 2020. STD’s made, but NOT sent out yet. Family members all talking and excited for our June wedding and will be making travel plans etc. Outdoor venue deposit paid.

I ’m getting so anxious as we just started trying to conceive last month (first month) had a positive pregnancy test that ended in a period (bummer). But feeling optimistic about getting pregnant, but who knows at 40, could take a year or next month or not at all.
So anxious about wedding date/possible pregnancy date. Don’t want to be super pregnant on WD or have a newborn. But I have no clue since I have never been pregnant. Need to make decision soon, but if I get pregnant next month or two don’t I have to wait 3 months to see if pregnancy is viable?
Ugh, want this time in our lives to be somewhat stress free and wonderful. I want us to enjoy both wonderful things, baby and wedding but not feel like we’re rushing either. Just thinking baby at 40 is more important than a marriage right now. Waking up every night obsessing

please help! Thank you!

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Hannah, on August 24, 2019 at 8:38 PM

Devoted December 2019
· on August 21, 2019 at 7:55 AM
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Why not push up the wedding date? See if your venue has anything for later this year or very early next year? Or do a courthouse wedding and a restaurant reception and have a larger vow renewal later on? Or leave the wedding date as is and accept that you could have your little bundle or be pregnant that day, which would still be beautiful! I can see where you’re coming from about a baby being more important, and I would feel the same way.
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Dedicated October 2019
Melissa · on August 21, 2019 at 8:19 AM
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I agree with the above comment, especially since your focus is on starting your family there is no one way to do things. Goodluck wishing you a little bundle and happy marriage ❤❤❤
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on August 21, 2019 at 8:27 AM
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I agree with this!
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Expert October 2019
Heather · on August 21, 2019 at 9:17 AM
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I would push up the wedding date if you’re worried about it. Most couple will wait to announce a pregnancy until after 12 weeks, as that’s the time frame when miscarriages are most common.
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Dedicated October 2019
Emily · on August 21, 2019 at 10:46 AM
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Hannah, you really should talk to your doctor to see if you should have concerns about being able to get pregnant. I think that moving the date up is a great idea. Also, you can always wait until a few months out from whatever date to start trying. If you get pregnant right away, you won’t be too far along; if you don’t, you’ll be able to keep trying for a few months before the big day. Don’t forget that certain contraceptives may impact your ability to get pregnant immediately (eg IUD). Talk to your GYN!
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on August 21, 2019 at 1:52 PM
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You are making a lot of big life changes all at once! It’s no wonder you’re worried about stressing. I would definitely check in with your gyn and let them know you’re going to be trying for a baby. You are already considered advanced maternal age (that starts at 35, so don’t take it as a bad thing) and they may have some recommendations to help get you started. That being said, if you get pregnant now, you would be due in June. I would keep the June wedding date and really start trying for a baby in a couple months after you get a clean bill of health from the doctor. Most people wait until after the first trimester (12 weeks) to announce a pregnancy, and if you get pregnant over the holidays or early next year you would be late second trimester, which is usually when you feel the best and have that happy, glowing pregnant look. No matter what you decide, I don’t think there’s a bad choice if you and your fiancé are on the same page. I wish you much luck in all your happy plans!
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Diane · on August 23, 2019 at 12:34 AM
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I'm in a bit of the same boat. my partner and i decided this summer to get married - as well as to start trying (plus he is starting grad school this week...) - so i relate to a lot going on all at once! we, however, decided to prioritize long term goals (as i'm in my late 30s and we know it isn't going to get easier) over short term. this means we are getting married in october after a very short engagement and are having a more intimate wedding of about 45 people (no bridal party, no shower, no fuss - but hopefully lots of fun!). even though he, in particular, is a bit overwhelmed with simultaneously juggling the wedding, school, and babymaking, it helps knowing that we are taking one of these elements off the table quickly. perhaps most importantly in making this decision, i felt strongly that this process of having a kid can be emotional and unpredictable, and because of past health issues that i have experienced, i know that it may not be fruitful. thus, we wanted to celebrate at the joyous beginning of this next phase of our lives, without the pall that could come in this next year as a result of potential difficulties conceiving.
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Just Said Yes September 2021
Hannah · on August 24, 2019 at 8:38 PM
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Oh my god, ladies!! Thank you so very much for your input. I seriously felt emotional reading all your kind responses. It helps to know there are other couples/women going through similar situations.
We have just shared the news with my parents tonight. It helped to share the news (of us trying to conceive) and also the conflict with scheduling we MAY have. I tend to plan for the worst and hope for the best. We shall see if by this December there is any pregnancy news, then we'll send out STD's, possibly change the date, but I think until then we just leave it up to the universe. We may even have a tiny wedding prior to "showing" then just postpone the actual wedding/party/reception with lots of family and friends for until baby is more manageable and I am feeling back to my "old" self post-pregnancy. This will be a crazy year regardless.
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