Dilemma.....help!!

My FH and I also had this argument. I didn't really need a wedding after I figured out how much we were going to have to spend. I was okay with eloping and going on a long vacation but he insisted. Having a wedding wasn't enough either. He needs a BIG wedding with 200+ people. Where we differed was the tone of the wedding. He was fine in a community hall with minimal decorations. As long as there was food and booze, he was okay with it. I told him if we're doing this, we're doing it the RIGHT way and I'm getting everything I've always dreamed of (I'm paying for half of it myself so I think that's fair). SO now here we are at $25k and 262 guests. Does it make me sick thinking about it? Absolutely! But at the end of the day I know I will forever treasure the entire wedding, photos, and memories. Weddings ARE expensive. Ask your FH what is most important to him. Does he not want to do a reception at all? Or is it the cost of the reception that is making him hesitant? For me alone, putting away $300 out of each paycheck for the next year has me saving over $7k. I've been doing this since I was engaged in May so I will have saved a pretty penny by the time its all said and done. It's definitely doable. You just have to make the decision to do it and then SAVE SAVE SAVE!!! I'll be eating ramen for the next year but if it makes my FH happy (and I'm excited deep down) then it's worth it! Good luck Let me know if you have any questions or need tips on ways to cut corners and save money!

I think you both have to come to a middle ground although 6k all inclusive is a great price in my opinion. I was in the same position only I wanted to stick to the 50 guest. Fiance had over 150 on his list alone. The thing that helped me help him understand was putting together a detaied budget on paper so we could both look at the potential cost for both scenarios. We eventually settled on 75 with 100 being the absolute max. Good luck with this, just remember compromise is key!

Having a smaller number of people at the reception is a tiered wedding and considered rude. It says they're good enough to see you get married but not good enough to pay to feed. All ceremony guests need to be invited to the reception as well! Tell him this and maybe he'll come around

I just had this discussion over the weekend, Im trying to get my venue (with ceremony too) for no more then $3,500 IM SO CLOSE. Right now this is including EVERYTHING open bar, and all that good. We have agreed on NO OPEN BAR (that will FORSURE bring my cost down). I come from a family we are mostly now ALL DRY they drink for special occasions, I feel with an open bar there is more temptation to drink more. My sister in law had a 6 hr open bar, and OMG the DRAMA. My FH and I are the ones paying for majority of this, so that is one reason I am trying to keep the cost low. His dad and mom are willing to help where needed. My only unlce I have left and his wife are paying for my dress ( weight off my shoulders there). We have a friend who is a professional photographer (another $$ saver), we also are having his brother marry us, since he is ordaned (AGAIN another $$ saver). Currently with our backup plan (resturant for reception, ceremony unknow) we are at a budget of UNDER $5,500!! YES $5,500. It help to see if maybe friends know people who know people or even ask around sometimes you can get discounts if someone refers you.

We're doing our whole wedding ceremony and reception for at most $5000 for 150 people including food, bar, venue and all the things. We cut out a lot of unnecessary (to us) things like no huge wedding party (3 on each side), no dj (just a playlist), no bouquet/garter toss, minimal decor (but that works for our venue as it already fits our rustic theme). I am lucky to have very talented friends and family who are gifting us their skills and expertise with the expensive things-our friends are in a band so we have all the sound equipment to play our music playlist. Our musician friend is providing some of the reception entertainment. My mom is making my cake and helping with making the flowers (which will be made out of paper). FH uncle is a photographer who is going to do the wedding pictures, my bestie is a photographer and my MOH who is doing our engagement photos....etc... When I used to read about weddings on a budget that turned out so beautiful they always seemed to have so many people who were able to donate their services. I always thought I would never be able to do that and be forced to spend a small fortune on a wedding. However, after talking to our circle of friends and family about our vision everyone was offering up their skills for us. So far we are coming in at a third of our $5000 budget.

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Hi Taylor. He wants the reception and w both agree that the most important to us is of course our ceremony (which will be super simple bc its just symbolic since we will already be legally married), the food being good, and the party.... we could care less about all the extra decor etc which is why im ok with what the hotel offers. i may make some centerpieces and decorate our sweetheart table but he is more concerned at the cost over anything. and yes we are saving. i refuse to go into the 10's of thousands. we have a whole family and home to take care of. lol we are older (40 to be exact)

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I agree Carlette, I dont want to invite a ton of people. We both have large families and im not inviting not even a quarter of them for the sake of cost. if i havent talked to the person in more than 6 months, no invite. PERIOD!

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Nope he disagrees. lol All of our out of town guests will be at the reception for sure. Am i saying i disagree, no not totally. I have my whole fathers side of the family that i did not invite and if they want to come to the ceremony, by all means come. Its open, but I refuse to send them invites (long story). Everyone on my guest list that I plan to invite I want at my reception. He just doesn't think we should pay that much. CHEAP!!!

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Carrie....YOU ARE ME!!!! I am telling my FH that we can save save save by not only having a Friday wedding in April, but also with having only 1 hr open bar during cocktail hr and cash bar for alcohol and open bar for soda and juice during dinner service. Most of my invites like top shelf stuff so if thats the case yall paying for it. lol. I think if he takes my advise we can get our ceremony (which usually comes w/ a fee of an addition $500-1000 @ a hotel) and reception in 1 location and all under $5,500. I am doing my own hair and makeup, my dress is under $500 and as far as officiant, we don't really need anyone ordained bc this is just our symbolic ceremony. I just need him to listen and maybe talk to the venue to get him to truly see....bruh you not gonna have to be reasonable here.

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My son just graduated college and has some frat brothers that may be able to do our photos since they did a few of his photoshoots. but again, we don't know a lot of people that can help us because we live in a city that is just us :-(. Everyone he knows that would gift him services, lives over 4 hours away

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My FH was the one to set the budget, we both have been married before and his last wedding was paid for manily by his in laws, unfortunately thats not the case this time. My last wedding was a court house, and dinner at a nice resturant. So this time we know budget is low and he also wantes me to be able to have the wedding I didnt have before. We are not doing favors we are going to see if the venue will allow is to have a candy table (basically make your own candy bags as favors) My FHs aunt would be the one to make it and pay for it also if they allow us to make our own center pieces (which sometimes can also bring the cost down) they his other aunt will be doing those and that will help bring out cost down.

$59pp is really a great deal. I don’t think you’ll find a better deal than that for all that’s being included. Also, from an etiquette standpoint, it’s kind of rude to invite people to watch you get married at the ceremony and then not invite them to the reception after. The reception is kind of like the thank you for sharing this moment with us. Typically, ceremonies are private and small and receptions are larger. Just giving my point of view. Best of luck!