Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

C
Just Said Yes October 2021

Dilemma choosing groomsmen

Casey, on June 29, 2020 at 9:32 AM Posted in Planning 0 10
Saved
Reply
Hello All,
I’ve been stressing over something that may not be an issue at all but I needed some bias peoples opinion! I’ve already of course talked to many friends about this but it’s still bugging me. I was adopted at 10 years old and when that happened I gained two more brothers for a total of 3. I’m close with all of them. My fiancé and I have decided to only have 5 people on each side- bridesmaids and groomsmen due to financings and not wanting a large bridal party. My fiancé and I have discussed to not have any of my brothers in the bridal party because then he would only be able to choose one of his guy friends to be on his side. He will have one of his brothers as his best man. He also has a younger brother who is 10 who will not be in the bridal party either. My brothers do not know they are not in the bridal party yet and it’s stressing me out. I feel in my heart that they will be okay with it and obviously we’ll all still have pictures and such taken. In my fiancé’s defense is that it’s his wedding too and he wants to chose his people because he is not choosing my girls. He has 3 very close friends who he has known his whole life and wants them in the wedding. Any advice for me!??

10 Comments

Latest activity by Jules, on October 27, 2020 at 3:44 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm unclear on what you need advice on. Your FH gets to choose his own wedding party attendants and has already done so. What do you need help with?

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Your FH is right, he should get to choose people for his bridal party, you get to choose yours. You also don’t have to only have women, I’ve seen brides have “brides-men” and grooms have “grooms-women.”
    I only have step brothers that I was out of the house well before they came into the picture and I barely know them, but I’d just be upfront about it. There are other ways you can include them, make them ushers, do a reading, etc. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Expert May 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    He gets to chose, I agree. I also think you could include them on your side of the wedding party. People have male and female bridesmaids/men. I Also like Jessica’s suggestion to include them as ushers ect.

    Happy planning!

    • Reply
  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I think that if you are close with your brothers you should invite them to be in the wedding. You can definitely have uneven sides of bridesmaids and groomsmen and its senseless to not include them just to make the sides equal. You can also have them on your side and make them “bridesmen” Also most just automatically know that they will invite their fiance’s siblings to be in the wedding as a courtesy, its pretty rude that he’s being so stubborn about it
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I don't understand what you need advice on. He gets to pick who he wants on his side. If he wants his friends instead of your brothers that's his decision. If you really want them in the wedding have them on your side. My brother was my bride's man. Otherwise, they aren't going to be in the and they honestly shouldn't expect to be. You could always have them as ushers. One of my friends had had three brothers as ushers since her husband already had all of his groomsmen.
    • Reply
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My brother wasn’t in the grooms party either. It’s fine, siblings don’t always get to be in the parties. You can still give them duties and roles or for mine my brother just walked in the processional the way parents did
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thanks for the response! This is the “advice” I was kind of looking for, for people who haven’t had their brothers/sisters in the wedding party. What was your reasoning? If you don’t mind me asking!


    I wish I could have them on my side but we are trying to kept things small and I have 4 girls that are a must for my side. Besides the guys, don’t want to hang with me and my girls lol
    • Reply
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    My husband chose his brother to be in it, but he didn't choose mine. and i didn't make him choose mine because that's his choice. and i didn't want to add him to my bridal party either due to the same reason, i wanted it to be an even 5 and 5 on each side.

    my brother walking in the processional still felt like he was a part of it and recognized.

    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Okay! That makes me feel a little better!! Thank you!!
    • Reply
  • Jules
    Dedicated October 2021
    Jules ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Get them boutonnieres! Just makes them feel a little special for only $10 a piece. They feel special and loved and FH gets his bridal party! Win-win. Smiley smile

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics