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Dedicated July 2020

Difficult Wedding Party

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Stacey, on December 30, 2019 at 10:59 AM

I have 4 bridesmaids and 1 groomswoman and they are driving me crazy. I gave them 10 options to choose from on Azazie. We had gone dress shopping once before at David's Bridal. At that point, we were looking at maroon dresses, but that has since changed. I had also wanted everyone in the same dress, but quickly realized that wasn't going to be possible. After deciding on a new wedding color, I went through Azazie and picked my top 10 dresses. I gave the girls the information so they could pick a dress. One hasn't even looked at the dresses yet. She keeps telling me she will. Two others don't want to buy from Azazie because they want to be able to see the options in person before deciding and they don't want spend the money to try the dress on at home because they feel it is a waste of money. So we decided to go look at dresses at David's Bridal once again. Last night, the one bridesmaid texts me that she can't go. She apparently forgot she had work. I have no clue how she forgot. I told her it was fine that she could go on her own. Now she just texted me that she might not have the money to buy any dress at all. I asked her previously what her budget was. Now she says she has no clue. My fiance and I are on a really tight budget since we are paying for the wedding 100% on our own or I would offer to buy her dress. I don't know what to do.

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Super September 2026
Laura · on December 30, 2019 at 2:15 PM
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Just weighing in as someone who has been in school - there isn't a lot of money even with scholarships - I've had them. And she might have been on the fence about her choices. We need to understand that our bridal party has other priorities and challenges that they don't speak about... I'd show my friend some generosity - and you can ask her outright if she thinks the wedding will be too much stress for her. Also, if you want the dresses ordered the 19.99 options won't work for her - they are clearance which means older stock. I let my girls pick their dress style - 2 ordered online, 2 bought clearance dresses. I don't care about dye lots because they are all different dresses.

Breathe and think through what the priorities are and then reach out to them from that place and one of kindness (more than frustration). And yes, it is frustrating. I'm just thinking maybe it doesn't have to be that way...
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Dedicated July 2020
Stacey · on December 30, 2019 at 2:27 PM
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I've been in school too so I totally understand the struggle. My issue is that she should have spoke up before this or should have told me she didn't think she would be able to be in the wedding. I am not a mind reader. I will definitely try talking to her some more, but she has been very vague with me so I don't know if talking to her will do me much good. She is also a very shy person who doesn't like any type of conflict so she might not be honest with me because of that ketber. I just kind of need to know whether she plans on being in the wedding or not. She can't afford to that's totally fine, but I think I deserve to know. All I care is that she has a dress whether she orders it online, goes to the store tries it on then orders or get the dress on clearance it doesn't make a difference to me. If I had the extra money I would buy her a dress, but I don't.
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Super September 2026
Laura · on December 30, 2019 at 2:52 PM
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I would tell her all of that... My last point is that very few people would tell someone their thoughts before making a decision. So, I don't think there was any dishonesty or keeping of things from you. Maybe she thought she could pull it all off without any issues - and why bother you. I would just clear the air. Also, introverts (shy people) do prefer texts - and it feels less confrontational.
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Savvy February 2020
Sharon · on December 30, 2019 at 4:03 PM
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I read a similar post on here and the best advice was that you give everyone a date that they need to have the dress by and then it is their responsibility. You have given them what you want the dress to look like and you have enough other things to do that you don't need to be babysitting bridesmaids. They are all adults and you have time before your wedding. Let them know that they need to have a dress by the middle of April and then leave them to it. I know how stressful it is because my fiance's sister doesn't have her dress for our wedding in February yet and my sister is pregnant and not sure if her dress is even going to fit but there is only so much control I have over the situation. Good luck!
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