Difficult inlaws

Your fiancé should be standing up for you. His family needs to know that their behavior won’t be tolerated and that if they aren’t supportive of your marriage, they won’t be invited to the wedding.

I completly understand how you feel. I am not my in laws favorite person, and my fh mom is completely overbearing I thought she would change after three years, but no dice. At this point I have given up on trying to mend and create a relationship with her. With that being said I never imagined aal wedding where they werent invited or in attendance. Even when my fiance said he didnt want her there I told him she will be there because people say things our of anger in our defense and to please us because the hurt for us. Even as much as I know my fiance doesnt want hwe to be there because he is afraid she will ruin it, i know deep down it will eventually disappoint him that his family isn't there. Maybe not initially, but your fh may feel some type of way when everyone to celebrate you is there and no one to celebrate him is there. The way I handled his mom was saying you can be apart of this and support your son or not, but you will not interfere with things or act out on our wedding day . If you do so you will not be apart of if . You're just going to have to suxk it up and plan for something to come and don't harp on it. they will only ruin your day If you allow them.

My in laws are accepting of me, but my FIL can also be controlling (the last time we went out to dinner he started ordering for my husband). He tried to manipulate the wedding planning (we paid for our own wedding). At one point, he threatened not to come to the wedding at all and said if we didn't want to deal with family we should have eloped. I laughed and told him we'd miss him, but he shouldnt come to anything if he didn't want to, we'd manage. Calling his bluff worked, and he let go a bit. Your fh should be the one to deal with his side of the family, and let his dad know if he can't be supportive, he's not welcome. It may seem harsh, but I don't believe in accepting abuse from people.

I completely understand. Over the 2.5 + years my FH and I have been together, I have literally had 3 or 4 conversations with his parents. We go to events for family things all the time and it is unbearably awkward for me. We’ve actually stopped going to as many events because of how little his family talks to me. We’re hoping it changes once we are deeper into planning our wedding and they finally realize. I won’t be going anywhere. It’s tough but I get it and I’m so sorry you have to go through it!

I don't think it's horrible. At the end of the day you gotta do what makes you happy and comfortable. I've a friend who just got married and all they did was elope in their own ceremony just the two of them and an officiant and a photographer. So in other words, it's you're wedding - it's just you and him - everyone else is optional

My in laws are similar. We've debated eloping over it.
Overall my fiance has aunt's that are reasonable and tend to occupy his parents enough to behave. So we're making sure the aunt's come to the wedding

I think you are doing the right there. Also, good to see your fiancé is on board. I would have loved to elope but my fiancé is such a mama’s boy that she needs to be there 🙄. So instead we are doing a bigger wedding. He knows I don’t like his family so I’m just not involving them in any planning. They will be invited but sitting at their own little table and I don’t plan on even looking in their direction

My ex-boyfriend's family was very similar. They weren't very accepting of me, even mentioning that I wasn't family despite dating for 3+ years. They would walk away from me if I entered a room or flat out didn't invite me to events. My friends and I joke that it was because I was an independent, liberal, pants-wearing woman haha.

His parents stunted his growth as an adult by keeping him home as long as possible. No jobs allowed, only got an allowance by doing shores for his dad, and could only take online college courses. He was 23....not 6 for Christ sakes!

Looking back I'm glad I got out of that because it only would've gotten worse.

View Quoted Comment His dad tried to keep him and his siblings back by never allowing them to learn to cook or drive, so when he branched out and learned to be an independent person they took that as me taking him away from them. He knows how toxic his but I cant get over having them act like fools at my wedding

This needs to be a choice your husband is at peace with, but I would simply not invite them at all. If they ask, tell them the people who were invited are the ones who are supportive of your marriage. You, your husband, and your relationship come first.