Difficult Father/Daughter Dance

Here's my advice: stop tip toeing around offending people. You'll never get anything accomplished if that is how you live your life. If you want a sentimental song with your stepfather, your bio dad needs to grow up and deal with it. It sounds like he should have been more involved to begin with if he wants to make a stink about it now anyway.

I don't have anything about most of your situation but my dad and I danced to Wildflowers by Tom Petty and it was perfect

My biological dad doesn't like my stepdad, but for the sake of my wedding, he is really trying, which is why I don't want to offend him, so asking if they could "split" a song, seems like I'm asking too much. Moreover, I feel that since my mother isn't around for this and they are, they both deserve separate songs.

My stepdad did throw out "Brown Eyed Girl" originally, but I have green eyes, so there goes that. Haha. We have thought about "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" too.

Also, I should've clarified about the sentimental songs my stepdad is choosing: They're songs with lyrics like "since my daughter was born", "she's my daughter", so they just doesn't feel appropriate, even to me even though he's like a father to me... and while yes, my biological father wasn't the best dad growing up, he did try the best he could when he could (he's an alcoholic), but nevertheless, his family was a big part of my life, so I'd like to avoid offending them with my stepdad and my song choice, if possible. In addition, I'm just trying to be respectful of the two men, who are completely paying for my wedding, because yes, my biodad is helping pay for my wedding as well.

Seriously though if he's going to get butthurt over a SONG, you have bigger issues.

Just dance to whatever step dad wants.

While I get your advice is trying to be in the right place here, I was more hoping for suggestions on songs options for two different fathers in my life, rather than family advice.

So, I'm trying to find a non-country song that isn't overly sentimental, because for me, personally, a song about "since she was born" doesn't feel right for my stepdad's and my song. Genuinely. While yes, he's like my father, it still feels like weird lyrics. Plus, I would prefer not sentimental for his and my song, because my mom not being here during this process is hard enough, so trying to avoid ugly-crying during our song, if possible. Haha. He's a quirky personality, so it doesn't have to be a slow song at all (he danced to "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson with one of my other sister's at her wedding).

As for my biological dad? I'm looking for something a little more along the lines of The Beatles, and things like that. Or even something a little on the Blues-side. I suggested "Blackbird", but he thought it was too sad of a song (I personally think it's a beautiful song).

My sister in law danced to Wildflowers by Tom Petty. I wanted a song that wasn't too sappy but my dad went with sappy. He ended up bawling the whole time. If I think of the name I will post but it is escaping me right now.

ETA: I wanted Priscilla Ahn - Dream.

My dad chose Edwin McCain -Walk with you.

Team: Wildflowers by Tom Petty, love it!

While I get what you were asking for, this is the internet and I can comment on whatever I so choose.

I had a similar situation as you. My bio dad was always "around" but never a father figure in my life whereas my step dad immediately was at all of my school and sports events as soon as he and my mom stated dating whereas my dad didn't even make it to my college graduation and has forgotten to call me on my birthday multiple times. My step dad and I danced to You've Got A Friend In Me from Toy Story and my bio dad and I danced to Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I didn't even tell them the songs I picked or ask them. I just said I picked songs that I liked and that was that.

Not sure if you looked on the Knot, but they have a list of suggested Father/Daughter songs. There are a variety of suggestions, so maybe it will give you some inspiration for both songs:

https://www.theknot.com/content/father-daugher-wedding-songs

I'm doing Lean on Me with my dad, which is pretty sentimental, but doesn't reference dad and daughter if that strikes a chord with you (pun intended).

So I have a similar situation (my biological dad actually isn't coming to the wedding which is another story), but it sounds like I can relate to your feelings.

If my biological dad were coming, I would probably go with a non-sentimental song that I love such as "The Way You Look Tonight" by Michael Buble.

I am dancing with my step-dad to "How Sweet it is to be Loved By You" by James Taylor. I found a lot of the father/daughter songs to reference when you're born etc., which obviously he wasn't there for, but he still means so much to me. It's also a song everyone knows, which I love.

I also love the song @Caitlin picked for her stepdad - so cute!

I think you should go with what you want. Make it a surprise for both of them. If they can't handle it, the problem is with them, not you.

I agree with LillyBean 100% percent. As usual.

Bruce Springsteen-when you need me. would work for either I think

You could also just go with an acoustical version of a the song the step father picks.

I'm in a VERY similar situation. My few cents...

Don't stress over it. I was earlier on, but at some point I remembered that this day was about marrying my best friend, and if my dad got upset because he didn't shine as the father of the bride... well, maybe he should have been more of a father to me?

For song suggestions, my dad is a huge Beatles fan, so I'm picking out a Beatles song for us to dance to. Possibilities:

Here, There and Everywhere

Across the Universe

In My Life

Here Comes the Sun

I haven't come up with ideas for my dance with my stepdad yet. Working on that one...

I am in the exact same situation. I wish I had advice for you, but I'm struggling with the same things.

FH is of the "if bio dad wanted a say, he should have stepped up years ago" opinion. However, while it should be that simple, it's not. After seeing how hurt he was when my sister cut him out, I can't do that.

I guess my rambling answer is to let each pick their own song.

I'm curious though, what are doing when you are walking down the aisle?

Give each what they like!

What about something light hearted for your dad...the "fun fun fun" (till her daddy takes her tbird away) song..beach boys. Its father daughter but not sentimental

We danced to My Girl, which might work for you and stepdad. We cut it short too, 30 seconds, no crying.

I have the exact same situation! I think I'll be doing two separate songs for each father!