Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner August 2019

Difficult Family

Brianna, on January 15, 2018 at 7:19 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My family has always been kindof difficult and controlling, but I've only been engaged for 3 weeks and my wedding is almost 2 years away and they're already getting upset with me for my decisions. My mom got upset about a bridesmaid I had chosen (one of my very best friends) and told me I'm making a huge mistake and that she doesn't like her and never has, so that's pretty disheartening. I told her how that makes me feel and she said I'm making too big of a deal out of it. I wasn't, I just feel like she didn't even have to tell me that.

Now I'm getting a lot of heat from my sister, a chosen bridesmaid, because I told her I don't want kids at my wedding and she has 2. Of course my mom is taking her side. I wouldn't mind them sitting through the ceremony (my venue doesn't allow flowers to be thrown so idk what other rolls to give them? Suggestions?) But I just really do not want them at the reception because I don't want ANY kids at the reception. She has almost 2 years to plan for this and she is flipping out at me and telling me she's not coming at all.

Ugh what am I supposed to do!? If it's only been 3 weeks and it's already stressful with them... how will the next year and 8 months go.

Flag
Hide content

14 Comments

Latest activity by Kylie, on January 16, 2018 at 3:57 PM

VIP January 2019
Heather · on January 15, 2018 at 7:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
Take a breath. Don't let them control you. Don't talk to them about the plans beforehand. Just let them know what the decisions are after you and FS have made them. Good luck. Come here to vent if need be, lol
- Reply
Devoted June 2019
Laurel · on January 15, 2018 at 7:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
Stay strong. If you’re not inviting any kids, then you’re totally fine with not having hers there either. Come here and vent when you need and maybe avoid discussing the wedding with her as much as possible? That may be difficult since she’s your mom, but it’s your wedding and you can have it any way you want to. Good luck!
- Reply
Champion November 2054
Jacks · on January 15, 2018 at 7:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
Are you paying for your own wedding? If so, then great. Do what you want and don't discuss plans or request approval from anyone. If someone else is paying, decline their money. Have the wedding that you want and can afford.
- Reply
Beginner August 2019
Brianna · on January 15, 2018 at 7:40 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yeah as far as I know, FH and I are paying for everything. My sister is telling me we're being selfish for planning on a dream wedding instead of considering guest convenience. Listen, if you can't find a sitter and can't make it, there is nothing I can do about that. I do not want kids at my wedding. Simple as that.
- Reply
VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on January 15, 2018 at 7:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
You can choose not to have kids. People have the right to be upset that you're not. You can make your own decisions but you can't control their reactions.
- Reply
Beginner August 2019
Brianna · on January 15, 2018 at 7:43 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yeah, I've heard that but me and this girl have been besties for close to 12 years. And the other is supposed to be my sister cuz well.... She's my sister. But you are very right! It shouldn't be my responsibility to plan for other people's babysitters either.
- Reply
Just Said Yes June 2018
Cindy · on January 15, 2018 at 7:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
Hey hun. I don't want kids at mine either but I have made an exception for family. Maybe that's something you can do as well. I don't know your relationship with them so of course it all comes down to it being your wedding but maybe they want to see their aunty get married. Also try talking to your fiance about the kids thing and you two put your foot down once you decide! It is your dream day. About the bridesmaid, it's a no brainer. She is YOUR best friend not your mother's. Also it is your wedding not hers. I just pictured what girls I absolutely had to share my day with and didn't bother what anyone also said. Lol it put me at 9 bridesmaids.
- Reply
Master March 2018
Orchids · on January 15, 2018 at 7:54 PM
Flag

Hide content
Stop talking with your family about wedding plans! If they're this much drama NOW it's only going to make you nuts for the next two years!
- Reply
Expert June 2018
Mrs.Henderson2b · on January 15, 2018 at 8:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
Breath baby it will be okay! Listen, It’s YOUR wedding. You can have whomever you want in your wedding. That’s not your Mom’s decision. Also your choice to not have kids. As everyone else said, your sister has PLENTY of time to make other arrangements. I initially said the same thing about no kids...however... FH didn’t like it too well as majority of his cousins have kids. I told him that we’re not accommodating anyone. If they want to see us get married and celebrate with us, they’ll do what it takes... then we toured our reception venue and they had a separate area perfect for the kids. A member of my Coordinating team will be monitoring the kids while us grown ups have a great time. You’re still a ways off. So stick to your guns. Everything will come together. Do what makes you happy!
- Reply
Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on January 15, 2018 at 9:19 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yep. All of this.
- Reply
Devoted October 2017
bluevelvet · on January 15, 2018 at 9:39 PM
Flag

Hide content
Stop talking about the wedding - you are a ways off until the day.
Do not pick bridal party now, wait until 6 months before. Or you can do what I did - NO BRIDAL PARTY! Way less drama, headache and cost.
Grow your Bridal Spine now - you are gonna need it.
No kids at the wedding means no kids. Period.
- Reply

Dedicated October 2018
Kylie · on January 16, 2018 at 3:57 PM
Flag

Hide content
Stand your ground. Also, take a break for a little bit. You have time until things need to be set in stone. When they ask about the wedding, just say you aren't sure and change the subject. But nonetheless, Stand Your Ground in what you want!
- Reply