I apologize in advance for this being a potential downer. I realize that there is an emphasis on positivity for the current iteration of the forums but I really need some outside perspectives on this situation.
I have a FMIL who is...difficult. During the last 3 years of my engagement to her son, our relationship has grown so sour that we no longer communicate for reasons that are perhaps too personal for a random wedding forum. All that I will say is that she has said and done - and continues to do and say - some very unsavory things that have hurt a great majority of her family, myself and my immediate family included.
Now, she is still on our guest list because my FH would like her to be there if she is willing to participate. We want to at least extend the offer because he is her son, after all, and it only follows logic that a mother would want to be at her sons wedding, right? She has already said several things in opposition of our wedding - not to our union but to our planning of a traditional wedding event - so it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't come. If she doesn't come, that's perfectly fine. There is already a plan for him to dance with my mother at the reception. FH would probably be super hurt if she was a no show but it's not as if he's ignorant to her behavior.
My worry is that she will decide to show up. I'm worried about where to put her at the reception. Do I sit her with her friends and her sister in the corner where they can gripe about the details together? Do I HAVE to sit them with my parents and siblings? I am so worried that she has plans to try and ruin our day whether that be by loudly complaining, speaking up during the ceremony (whether the guests are asked to or not), or creating some kind of scene that will be the centerpiece of the event that everyone will remember for years to come.
So my question is this for those who have a difficult family member, or someone that you wish you didn't have to invite, at your wedding:
What did you do? How did you seat them? Did you have any fail safes or back up plans? How did you navigate pictures? Am I overthinking this?
Thank you for reading. I really do appreciate any input that you may have about this.