Hey all! I am coming here for some serious help. I am 24 days away from my wedding and am having a brides worst nightmare with my bridal party. This is a long post but please help!
Lets start art from the beginning:
I asked my two childhood best friends to be in my wedding, one as the MOH, and my fiancé’s sister (17 years old) to be in our wedding. Everything was OK until actual wedding planning started. The girls picked out their own dresses but, when it came time to order them I ended up paying for 1 (the 17 year olds) and 1/2 of another (the bridesmaid). The MOH paid for hers. They all were aware of the price and when the dresses needed to be ordered by. I told them they had to pay for their own alterations. Come to this week...the 17 year old and her mother (my MIL) hadn’t even contacted someone to hem her dress. She had previously told me they had a family friend that would be doing it. Thankfully they figured it out after I freaked out. The 17 year old had her 20 year old boyfriend text me and was trying to tell me we didn’t explain this to the 17 year old. I shut that down really quick. The 17-year-old has not helped with any aspect of the wedding we have tried to get her involved but every time she’s not feeling good or she’s too tired to come help us so we as a group decided all she needed to do was get her dress hemmed and show up to the wedding.
But now here is where I am having the biggest trouble. My maid of honor it’s very opinionated person and she has turned this whole wedding planning process into a complete nightmare for me. She was aware of planning a bridal shower for me and I said that I wanted to do something simple like a cook out or a potluck for the bridal shower because it is the least expensive way. She currently is not working and I know that things can be expensive. She did not want to do a cookout and wanted to do lasagna and garlic bread and salad. For fear of causing an argument I just said fine. The other two bridesmaids put in either no money or effort into the bridal shower. Maid of honor said that she paid over $1000 for things for the bridal shower. Come to find out the date of my bridal shower was the hottest day of the summer and barely any food was eaten because it was hot lasagna when it would have worked better if it was a cook out with fresh fruit and colder items. So right there was issue number one I told her what I wanted it wasn’t what she wanted to do and she ended up doing what she wanted and it ended up backfiring in a way with overspending and wasted food.
Now come to the flower girl which happens to be my maid of honor‘s daughter. We both chose a dress together and she ordered it when It had come in from the online store she said it was ruined that it had snags all over it and it wasn’t actually made out of the material that they said it was. She refused to put the dress on her daughter. I explained to her that she should just send the dress back and get a different one while their is still time. She said that she was afraid the dress was going to break if she put on her child so again I said send it back and get a different one but she wouldn’t she said that it was too much of a hassle. I explained to her that if she didn’t try the dress on her now I was going to be upset if she wait until the day of the wedding where if the dress was going to break it would break on my wedding day and then we would not have a dress for the flower girl that was what I had envisioned. She became angry and yelling at me because I spoke up. I had to physically drive down there and tell her to put the dress on so we could see it. I live over an hour away from where my bridal party lives which is another reason why this is so stressful.
I also bought a radio flyer wagon for the flower girl to ride in down the isle. The MOH ASSUMED I was giving it to her afterwards as a gift. When I said I was keeping it for myself she got mad and went and bought one herself. She then texted me and stated “it would have been a nice gift if you gave yours to the baby”. I said that I already got her a gift and will be using the one I bought after the wedding. She didn’t like my answer. But, it’s not hers to give or get! I’m also not giving a baby a $70 wagon.
now finally the last straw. We decided to just get the bridesmaids Walmart brand flip flops to keep costs down and so they didn’t pay a fortune on shoes. We went looking yesterday. They had nothing left and I went to 5 different stores to find flip flops for them. Finally I found a pair but, they had a small heel. My MOH had a fit this morning! She said that the shoes are going to ruin her dress and blah blah! I explained I had to go to multiple stores and this was the best I could do. She started yelling at me and swearing at me because of shoes! I’ve honestly had it!
Long story short what do I do?! I woke up to this nasty text and began crying. I am beyond stressed. I explain to her in my other bridesmaids that the purpose of them being in the wedding is to also alleviate some stress and be helpful and not be so opinionated to the point of where you’re not being constructive. My maid of honor then continued to yell at me via text message and voice message saying that she spent all of her money on me and my wedding the last two months and that I forced her to buy things from me which I never did. I work in direct sales...she bought 1 item. I went to her house yesterday and she had 5 packages from lularoe...but all her money is being spent on me.
I dont know what else to do. My fiancé is fed up and is about to call her himself and say something. I need guidance. My MOH doesn’t understand the wedding isn’t about her and her child but is about my fiancé and I.
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