Different Meals for Bride and Groom...

Your guests won't know that you aren't eating the exact same thing as they are. It is fine and does make more sense.

I don't think it will really save you much time. What's the difference in a few bites of meat? I would eat the same as my guests. If you want to spend less time eating, the chicken is probably faster to eat than prime rib. Just because any steak I think would take more time generally. But not enough that you wouldn't get to say hi to people. Instead, I would think about just tasting your salad or first course, cutting out a little bit of that time, and greet a couple of tables instead, then enjoy your dinner, and keep it moving.

Nope. I'd be going for the prime rib. I don't like filets (too tender, I know I'm odd). Tell her that you appreciate her recommendation but you prefer the prime rib. You would like to enjoy the same meal as your guests as an appreciation for them attending. Also, after ceremony, pictures, dance, greets, etc you will be quite hungry & a smaller filet may not be enough.

I'm not really a fan of having some people served something different than the rest of the guests. It just seems rude to not offer them the same thing. Yeah, most people won't notice, but some might. I wouldn't risk offending my guests.

I would have what you want to eat. Regardless of its the same as what your guests are eating. Our caterer gave us both the entrees on a plate for DH and me. Mine was GF too!

Is your coordinator with your venue/caterer? Because honestly it just sounds to me like she's trying to get you to spend more money. As Holly said before, how much time would it really save you to eat a filet instead of a prime rib? I say tell your coordinator thanks, but no thanks. You'll eat the same food as the rest of your guests.

It's rude to serve your guests one thing, and you have something different. Why not just switch the prime rib to the filet? That is kind of like having 5 o'clock vodka in your open bar, but then having a bottle of Belvedere for just you two.

To be honest, when she first suggested it I thought that maybe she was trying to upsell us. But when I looked over the menus the cost difference is only a of a couple of dollars. We were even thinking of just changing the beef dish to the filet, but we don't want people to be upset with us cause our website has listed it as prime rib for the last few months.

Another vote for eat the same food as your guests. It'd be like inviting people to your home for dinner and serving yourself filet, then serving your guests chicken.

You can always update your wedding website. Is it buffet or plated? Did your guests have to pick what they wanted?

Its plated and everyone already had to pick. I would have us eat the chicken dish but that too has a sauce on it. I suggested the chicken fingers (that's our kids meal) cause that would be the quickest and lest messy option, and was told I was being foolish.

I think in this case, it's not the true cost difference (which is minimal) that's the issue. It's the principal of eating something that isn't offered to your guests.

I'd be questioning as a guest why you couldn't eat the same thing as everyone else. Is the guests food not as good? But, I'd still eat it and move on with my life. I'd rather eat prime rib anyways.

As for "saving time" that's the weirdest thing I've heard.

Well, if that is the case then I would just eat your prime rib very carefully.

Your planner sounds pushy. You're adults. You are capable of placing a linen napkin on your lap as a lady should, and eating prime rib with au jus or chicken with sauce. If I were you I would feel incredibly offended. Also, filet may not come with sauce or au jus but if cooked properly (and it better be!) it, like any cut of beef, is going to be tender and juicy and run the risk of dripping cow juice and being "messy".

You want chicken? Tell her you're eating the chicken. YOUR day. Not hers.

Really it is not like you will be eating sloppy joe's or something lol. I think you will be fine. Just lean over your plate and put a napkin on your lap.

I once went to a wedding and the guest got a choice between chicken and salmon. The bride and groom had steak. It was a bit annoying that the food for the guests wasn't good enough for them.

I think you should definitely eat what you want. And our venue gave us our meals first so we can eat first before the chaos of mingling and thanking everyone so that's something to consider asking so you can get a head start sort of.

I have never seen what the bride and groom ate at all the weddings i went to. I can see how rude it is if your guest did see it but i doubt people's attention are on your plate. FH and I plan on eating before the reception enough to get us through half the ceremony and we will be served at the reception too but just incase we don't get a chance to eat we won't be hangry. One of my friends didn't get to eat at her reception because people walked on stage to congratulate both the bride and groom.

Out of all the weddings I've attended, the last thing I was looking at was what the bride and groom were eating; I was too busy stuffing my face. But it might also have to do with the fact that I've only attended large weddings. Maybe if it was a small intimate wedding it would be very noticeable.